Year End Letter

Hello and Merry Christmas to all my beloved friends!
This year has gone by so fast it seems. I feel like I was just writing a year end letter! Where to begin with life this year?

Derek has grown so much in this past year. I feel like we were just celebrating his first Christmas, but here we are at his second, and when I look at him and at the progress he has made in the past year it becomes clear to me how far we have come! We celebrated his first birthday in February with a huge airplane themed birthday party. We had invitations that looked like boarding passes, an airplane shaped cake, lots of food, and the center piece- a runway table cloth! Derek's Grammy and Grandpa (Sarah's parents) came down for the party and airline pilot Grandpa helped ensure that the runway table cloth was accurate to real life! :)
Last year Derek's vocabulary consisted mostly of sign language, but now he is a little chatterbox! He is stringing words together into short sentences, and understanding the concepts of things belonging to people. He will point to things and say "Momma's" or "Dadda's". It's great! Over the summer he discovered he LOVES swimming. There is a park not far from our house where we would go on walks first thing in the morning, and there's a little fountain there that he would have a blast playing in. We even got to go to the city waterpark a few times and he thoroughly enjoyed that. In August Derek went and spent a fun week at Grammy and Grandpa's while Mom and Dad got away on a much needed vacation. He had a blast and didn't even a shed a tear when he said goodbye to Mom and Dad! Although he was pretty happy to see them again after a week! In November Derek got treat. His cousins came to visit for Thanksgiving. He loved playing with his cousin Caleb who is four, and his cousin Isaac who is 2.

Nathan has been plugging away at growing his youth group at our church. He just loves his job and loves the kids he works with. He has been busy with trips and events Over the last year he has led trips to Minnesota, Kansas City, and Colorado, as well as several local events including an all church picnic and swimming party in July. That was a great event that everyone is looking forward to doing again next year. Nathan has been enjoying his work schedule. It allows him to be at home with Sarah and Derek as much as he possibly can during the week. Wednesdays and Sundays of course are the long work days for him, but he is able to have Friday and Saturday as his weekend. WE have decided that having a weekday as an off day is wonderful! It allows us to do things together as a family (like the zoo, and the mall) that would normally be very crowded on Saturdays.

Sarah has had her hands full with an active little boy, and making new friends. She has a regular standing playdate on Mondays and of course sees our good friends Ben, Jena, Kadence and Liam regularly. She started working very part time in March at a transitional home for single women called Mt. Hope Sanctuary. This home is a ministry supported by our church, and reaches out to help single women who need assistance getting back on their feet after a messy divorce, or being incarcerated, or leaving a dysfunctional family situation. Sarah has enjoyed her work here, and feels like she is finally using her psychology degree to s certain capacity, although her primary role remains stay at home wife and mom to Derek.

In family news, Nathan and Sarah were finally able to take the trip to Hawaii they had been planning for 5 years. It was always Sarah's dream to go to Hawaii for our 5 year wedding anniversary, and the Lord was gracious enough to allow us the means to do that. Derek stayed at Grammy and Grandpa's and Nathan and Sarah spent a much needed week by themselves enjoying tropical paradise! While in Hawaii we visited Pearl Harbor to see the USS Arizona Memorial, and the battleship USS Missouri. We toured the Dole pineapple plantation, and hiked to the peak of Diamond Head, an extinct volcano on the island of Oahu. We spent the rest of our time on Waikiki Beach lounging in a cabana and reading, talking, listening to music and soaking up the sun. We also enjoyed getting to eat at restaurants that were local to Hawaii. We were very proud of ourselves for only visiting one chain restaurant, Cheesecake Factory, which of course, is forgivable. :)
In other family news, we discovered in September that we will become a family of four in June of next year! That's right! Derek will be a big brother!! We are thrilled, and although Sarah has not been feeling well, she has been a trooper.
Calvin and Piper, our two cats, are doing well. Calvin still has no great love for Piper, but the little kitten has grown on him some over that past year we have had him. They like to play fight at night after all the lights are off, and boy are they loud! Hopefully Piper will mellow out a little as he gets older. :)

We are so blessed with all that has gone on this past year in our family. I hope that this letter is a testimony to God's goodness to us. He is good all the time. I love that we get to take this time of year to reflect on that, and to celebrate the incarnation of Jesus Christ, who was God's ultimate gift to us. His ultimate display of goodness. That He would send His Son as a human to take on the sins of the world. We are always so thankful for Jesus Christ, and for the way He paved to have a relationship with Him so that we might be saved. Praise His Name at Christmas time, and forever more! May the Lord bless all of you this coming year. We love you all!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Nathan, Sarah and Derek Metcalf

Missing You...

It dawned on me today that it has been four very long years since we last saw all of our dear friends who live in South Carolina(/North Carolina). In my opinion this is far far too long. I think I'm actuely aware that I'm missing so much in their lives, and they're missing so much in mine right now. I have close friends from down there going through a very tough and uncertain time with one of their children right now, and I long to hug them and physicaly be present with them. I have dear friends who are experiencing one of God's greatest blessings right now with a pregnancy they didn't know if they would ever have. I wish I could hug them and sit and talk with her for a long time and comiserate pregnancies, and help assuage the inevitable worry that comes along with it. I have wonderful friends who have had two new babies since I saw them last, and the baby they had the last time time I saw them just turned four. She's not a baby anymore!! All of our youth group kids from LBC have grown up. Some are getting married, some are graduating from college soon, one has been to the other side of the world and back and is fighting for recovery in a Naval Hospital. There are so many more people that I miss. Even our alma mater campus has changed drastically in four years. I hate how when I look at our finances I wonder if we will ever be able to go back. I hate wondering if I am ever going to see these amazing people again. I'm thankful for facebook, but there comes a point when writing ((HUGS)) just doesn't cut it anymore. With a second baby on the way, i just don't know how we will do it. But I do know that we have to at some point Even if we have to save for the next couple years. We HAVE to get back down there. So, if my SC friends are reading this, know that I miss you all!!

Why My Family Will Celebrate Christmas

I recently was reading a seemingly innocuous post on Christmas tradition by Mark Driscoll on Facebook, and was shocked to discover that there are many Christians who feel very passionately that celebrating Christmas is sinful. Their rationalization is that Christmas is a pagan holiday (Saturnalia) assimilated by the Catholic Church. Now, this is actually true. The timing of the pagan celebration of Saturnalia, and the pagan celebrations for the Winter Solstice were considered by the Church when choosing a date for the Christmas celebration. However, I do not feel that it is sinful to celebrate Christmas. I've listed a few arguments below used by people against Christmas, and why we have chosen to overlook said argument.\

1. It's a pagan holiday assimilated by the Church. We shouldn't celebrate any pagan holidays.

-True. We shouldn't as Christians celebrate Saturnalia, or the Winter Solstice. But that's not what I'm celebrating at Christmas. I don't even know all the ins and outs of Saturnalia, nor do I care. And as far as the Winter Solstice goes... If we never had another Winter Solstice ever again I would be the happiest person in the world. No winter celebrations here. Not for this summer lovin' girl. :) No, I do not celebrate those things. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' incarnation on this earth. It is a great miracle that God had a plan of salvation in place from the very beginning of time. He knew that Adam and Eve would screw up in the Garden of Eden. He knew before the creation of the earth that He would need a plan of salvation for the humans He was about to create in His image. Jesus was that plan. God sent His Son to earth in human form so that He might live as a man for a time before completing His salvific work by dying on the cross and rising again on the third day (but that's another holiday altogether!). Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus' birth as a human baby. Amazing isn't it that we can take this time every year to specifically remember this sacrifice that Jesus made for us? Philippians 2 tells us of this sacrifice: "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,b being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. " (ESV) While we should give thanks for this all year round, it is only fitting that we take time to especially honor what Jesus has done. That brings me to the next argument...

2. We should celebrate Jesus' birth all year.

-Yes, but like I said, it is only fitting that we dedicate our minds for a season to really marvel at what Jesus has done. I mean, we should be thankful for Jesus' death and resurrection year round too, but I don't see anyone arguing against Easter. (Although I say that and there probably are those out there who do.) We can only give God more glory by dwelling on the miracle of the incarnation, and in the end isn't that what life is all about?

3. Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December!

-Who gives a flying flip? The only reason you know when you were born is because of the careful records kept by this country. You could have been an orphan from some other country and have not a clue when your birthday is. Wouldn't you still want to celebrate one if you could? Besides, I have heard very few people actually argue that Jesus was born in December. That's obviously not the point. The point is we take time in December to celebrate the incarnation. We could do it in June if we wanted, although then you'd probably have the naysayers up in arms about the Summer Solstice. :)

This certainly isn't an exhaustive list of arguments, it's just the ones that I heard most frequently while I was reading. I don't feel the need to defend my decision to celebrate Christmas, but I thought it would make for an interesting blog post!

Rejoice with Those who Rejoice!

Oh you have to pop over to Aaron and Jennifer's blog to see what God has done!!! How great and how good is the God we serve! Praise His name forever! Merry early Christmas you guys!

Why I've been MIA

Sorry I haven't been blogging as regularly as I would like. There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. I found out on Sept. 28th that we are expecting our second child!! We are extremely excited, but I have been really sick. I spent 3 weeks unable to function aside from making the trip from my bedroom to the bathroom to throw up, multiple times a day. Thanks to my amazing doctor, I am now back on the Zofran I was taking while I was pregnant with Derek and my life is much better. I still don't feel 100%, but I feel much much better. Still, it's hard to get motivated to blog when I'd rather be using Derek's nap time to sleep myself! Haha!

2. Nathan and I have been dealing with an immense issue in our ministry that I am not able to discuss in a public forum such as this. All I can say is that we covet the prayers of our brothers and sisters. We have never faced anything like this before, and while we know it is for our sanctification in Christ Jesus, we are still at a loss as to what to do. We are thankful for those of you who do know about the situation who have offered up your advice. Please continue to pray that the LORD would grant us wisdom.

That's all for now. Like I said, with these two things eating up most of my remaining brain capacity (after it's been fried by hours of PBS Kids and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and picking up the same mess over and over again...) I may not be blogging as much. Hopefully the second trimester will bring the return of my energy!

I am Finished...

I have come to a point in my life where I am extremely discouraged with the terrible attitude displayed by others toward me lately. I have been judged to be a sub-par human by more people in the last 4 weeks than I have ever encountered in my twenty-six years of life. I am done. I will not stand for it any more. From now on, no one may tell me that I am a bad mother because my child sleeps in a crib. A crib is not "baby jail", a crib is not evil. A crib is not going to cause my child to die suddenly in their sleep. No one knows what causes SIDS. I will no longer tolerate being told I am terrible because of the choices I have made in the raising of my child. I will no longer be told that I can't take care of myself as a woman because I am a mother. I am both. I am a woman, and a mother. I am a mother and wife. Both relationships are important and I will spend time on both relationships. If that means leaving my toddler with a trusted babysitter for a few hours so my husband and I can go out, so be it. Do not judge me for taking care of my marriage.
I will no longer tolerate being gossiped about. The minute I hear of someone speaking ill of me or my family behind our backs, I will go to them and lovingly confront them as is exemplified in Matthew 18:15. If that is not received then I will react with following Matthew 18:16 and bringing another party in on it. And if that still is not received then I will go to the church with no hesitation. It's people from church doing it anyway, so hopefully it won't get to that point. But I cannot continue to live my life in fear of these people and what they might say.
I will no longer tolerate the attitude of believers towards one another. I will no longer allow it to be swept out of sight, but rather shine light on it so that the sin can be dealt with. When someone judges me based on my appearance (as happened last night when I was told I was not going to "get into heaven" because I have pierced ears), I will lovingly remind them that man looks at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)
I will no longer respond to someone speaking in anger, but will rather encourage them to correct in love if it must be done. I will not grovel before people who are too immature to accept an adult's sincere apology. If they do not accept a sincere and godly apology then I will shake the dust off my feet and be done with them (while still loving and praying for them to come around).
I have reached the point where I cannot ignore these things any longer. Christians have HORRENDOUS attitudes, especially toward one another. It is disturbing to finally be in a place where I am seeing what the non Christians are talking about. I have never been in a place where Christians are so unloving toward one another. It is shocking, and it is heart breaking. Something must be done. That is why I am finished with looking the other direction while everyone eats each other for breakfast. To quote Derek's current favorite movie "I didn't come this far to be breakfast!" (Finding Nemo)

One More Rant...

Ok, maybe I'm the only one bothered by this but every tine I see someone suggesting that a child be drugged for no medical reason I freak out. For example: a friend's Facebook status this morning was asking for tips on a long car trip with two very small children. Most responses were decent enough but there's always that one person who says "Benadryl!" WHAT????? Ok seriously, I know my friend is smart enough not to do that but it really pisses me off. How bout we tranquilize you? Childrens' bodies are so tiny and at very young ages (under the age of four) their systems are still underdeveloped. This is why you can't give a child under 4 cold medicine. This is why Robitussin can't be given to children under age 6. The amount of medicine could literally poison a child. So that being said, don't medicate your children just to shut them up!!! How stupid and lazy can a parent be? You chose to have children and that means putting up with them on car trips if you choose to take them. Now let me clarify that I'm not against medication. I give Derek infant Tylenol (or whatever the knockoff is) when he is in pain. If your child has allergies and your doctor says its ok and gives you the correct dosage then by all means give your child Benadryl. Use medication for its intende2d purpose, not for a tranquilzer.

Ok. Rant over. Anyone out there agree with me? Or am I going nuts?

Mild Vent

Very mild vent here....

Maybe I'm crazy, but when someone asks advice on wanting to buy a version of a particular object that doesn't cost "an arm and a leg", people shouldn't suggest the highest end version of that item that costs an arm and a leg!!!!!!!!! That's my opinion anyway. I'd pretty pretty mad if I was looking for a cheap plastic tupperware cup and people kept directing me toward the Swarovski Crystal champagne flutes.

9/11 Remembered

It was a normal school day for me. I woke up at five thirty, showered, got dressed, left my house at six thirty. I picked up my friend Sarah. I can’t remember what we talked about as we drove to Eastview High School, but I’m pretty sure that it was normal teenage stuff. As we drove we listened to the morning show on the local top forty radio station. School starts at seven thirty. It was no different that day. Funny, I can’t even remember what my first hour class was. None of those details were important to me then, they are lost in the fog of time.
It’s interesting how some things are burned into our minds. There are moments when time slows down and you have all the time in the world to log each detail away so that you can remember it all your life. Those who remember Pearl Harbor know what I’m talking about. Those who remember President Kennedy’s assassination know what I’m talking about. During those moments you rarely know that your mind is actually locking those things into your memory. Usually the moment happens and you remember it forever without even realizing why.
I remember that my second hour class was AP Literature and Composition. I remember that my teacher’s name was Mr. Bayer and that he had a really casual teaching style that made his English class the most enjoyable English class I had ever taken in high school. I remember that the girl who sat next to me was named Katie, and that she was in color guard for the marching band. I remember that her boyfriend’s name was Cody because she talked about him all the time. I remember that I sat in the second row on the left hand side of the classroom as you look at it from the back. I remember that we were supposed to watch “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.”
My dad is an airline pilot. That has always made my life a little different. He was gone a lot when I was younger. People always looked at me with the same look that you would give a kid whose dad is in the military.
“Oh, that must have been hard for you.” People would say to me as I got older. The truth is that I never really thought about it. My dad was a pilot before I was born. I have never known anything different. Northwest Airlines, whom my father flies for, has their world headquarters in Eagan Minnesota which is, not coincidentally, where I grew up. That whole area is chuck full of airline families. All my friends in high school with the exception of two were from airline families. When I went off to college people would say things like “Oh wow, your dad’s a pilot?! That’s so cool! So do you, like get to fly for free?” Nobody said things like that in high school. They were all in the same boat as me. There was a mutual understanding among us. We talked smack about Northwest management when the pilots went on strike in 1998, and every time the mechanics went on strike we griped about how the CEO really didn’t know anything about his company. We talked about a lot of things having to do with the airline industry, but we never, ever talked about plane crashes. There is a solidarity among airline families. The same kind of solidarity you find among military families, and NASA families. The thing that airline families have in common with military families and NASA families is that we all know that at any moment, tragedy can strike. It never matters how safe flying is supposed to be, or how few accidents they’ve actually had in the space program, or whether your spouse was supposed to be a non combatant, there is always the knowledge in the back of your head that there is a possibility that when your family member leaves for work, he or she may not come home. You never talk about that possibility. You never think about that possibility. When I was in tenth grade I really, really liked this boy. I was convinced that I was going to marry him someday, as soon as he realized he loved me back. There was nothing that boy could do to make me stop liking him. At least, so I thought. When we were discussing flight plans for our summer missions trip with church, I asked what airline we would be flying. He cracked a joke about flying on Egypt Air. Earlier that month an Egypt Air flight had crashed shortly after take off. It was determined that it was pilot suicide. I hated that boy. I hated him with everything I had for that moment. (And for a while afterwards, until he finally apologized to me.) When TWA flight 800 blew up over the Atlantic, we were glued to the television. The reason is simple, we are a community, and we feel it when we lose a member of that community. The thing about the airline community is that when a plane goes down we don’t just lose one member of the community, we lose several. After it leaves the news, we never talk about it again. It’s not something we want to remember over and over again.
Everything that happened after that second hour class is vivid in my memory. I remember third hour Spanish and calling my mom and telling her that I wanted to go home. I remember Eastview High School going on lock down. I remember a girl named Maggie hysterically telling people that her mom was being forced to evacuate the IDS tower in downtown Minneapolis because “it was next.” I remember a fellow pilot’s daughter huddling next to her locker and telling me that her father was flying that day. I remember there being so much we didn’t know. I remember going home.
I wrote a poem for a scholarship about it. It was really good. It was too good. I never submitted it. I think I wanted to keep it especially for me. Every person had something about that day that they kept to themselves. I think everyone had to keep at least one thing to themselves because there were so many things we shared. American flags lined the streets of suburbia and every car had a “united we stand” bumper sticker. There were candlelight vigils and tributes to the heroic firefighters and police force members. There were bulletin boards covered in pictures of missing people and pictures on the news of their families crying as they pleaded for information about their loved one.
I remember Mr. Bayer turning on the television and turning off the lights in the classroom. I remember that in the split second it took for the video tape to register in the VCR we caught a glimpse of two buildings on fire. I remember thinking it was just a made for TV movie. Then, I remember seeing the CNN logo in the bottom corner. I remember the class shouting in unison, the same two words “GO BACK!!” I remember Mr. Bayer sinking into his chair as we watched unbelieving what was unfolding on the TV in front of us. I remember seeing the buildings fall. I remember the principal talking over the loudspeaker saying that school would remain in session, although teachers would be free to abandon their lessons and just watch the news all day. I remember the airline kids shooting terrified glances at each other. I remember thinking where is my dad? Is he flying? I remember calling my mom and finding out that he was safe at home. I remember waiting anxiously for the newscasters to tell us what airlines had been involved.
There were tributes to the pilots and flight attendants that died that day. But not until later. They seemed to us to be the forgotten victims. Then, we received stickers in the mail from the Airline Pilot Association. They said “we will not forget.” They are right. We won’t forget. I read in the newspaper about the husband of one of the flight attendants and how he rode his bike across the country to commemorate the life of his wife and the lives of her co-workers. There was a memorial put up to venerate the crew of United flight 93.
And me? I joined the ranks of those who would go on to be called the 9/11 generation. We now know what it’s like to be someone who remembers Pearl Harbor, or the Kennedy assassination. We know what it is to have a single moment in history burned into our eyes and ears, and for some of us, our noses as well. We know what it is to suddenly worry about our safety when we’ve never had to before. And, like two generations before us we know what it is like to feel overwhelmed with uncertainty about the future. We all know that someday, our children will ask us about that Tuesday morning, and we will help them write their history papers and projects about it. We will show them newspapers and video tapes of CNN and NBC broadcasts. They will ask us how it feels to remember such a pivotal event in our nation’s history. We will respond that we are not the first to experience it, and we will not be the last. Because, after all, history has a way of repeating itself.

Vacation!!!!

Three weeks ago Nathan and I dropped Derek off with my parents for "Camp Grandparents" and ran away to Hawaii for a week! It was fantastic to reconnect with each other, and to not have to be parents for a week. We spent a lot of time at the beach, went to Pearl Harbor, climbed up Diamond Head, and visited the Dole Plantation! The best part about being there (besides it being a tropical island of course) was the hustle and bustle of Waikiki. Nathan would not agree with me on that, but I LOVE places like that. There were interesting people to watch, high end retail stores to look at (only pretending to be actually serious about buying that $500 belt), and plenty of restaurants to eat at! Every night everyone gets dressed up to go out to dinner. The nights are warm and dark, but Waikiki is brightly lit. There’s a soft glow of torchlight amongst the brightness of the lights in the stores. Every restaurant has live music and a gorgeous patio to sit on. Everything is open air. The malls, hotel lobbies and even the airport have a gorgeous tropical breeze blowing through them. There are palm trees everywhere and the Pacific Ocean is a beautiful opal blue. Everything about Hawaii is perfect.

The day we got there we FINALLY landed (after a grueling 8 hour flight) and we had thought we would be able to do so much stuff that day! We landed at 3:30pm Hawaii time which is 8:30pm our body time. Then we waited forever for our luggage, and waited for a shuttle bus. Then spent an hour and a half on the shuttle bus. We checked into our hotel and finally got to our room and discovered we were exhausted. We were undeterred. We were determined to stay up until 9pm Hawaii time so that we could get acclimated. We took showers and got dressed up a little to go out for dinner. By the time dinner came I was so tired that I was sick to my stomach. The food looked fantastic, but I just couldn’t eat it. I couldn’t even muster the energy to pick up a fork! I made it until 8:30 that night before I crashed. Then we were up at 4:30 in the morning (which was of course 9:30am central time). Since we were up so early we decided to go to Pearl Harbor that day. So we got dressed ate breakfast and hopped a city bus. I love Pearl Harbor. There’s so much history there. It’s like discovering that this place really exists and these things really happened. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been there (3 now) the feeling is the same each time. (Ok, the last two times because the first time all I remember is getting my picture taken in front of the Arizona’s anchor. I was 4 years old.) The Arizona Memorial is such a powerful place. Knowing you are standing in the very spot, over the very ship where over 1700 men died is a very sobering thing. Seeing their names on a wall is even more sobering. This visit I took the time to really read each of the names. Two stand out to me. W.H. Hurd (Hurd is my mother’s maiden name) and A.F. Power (Power is my maiden name). It’s crazy to see your own last name up on that wall, even if the person had no close relation to you, somewhere down the line they are your kin. It’s a bit freakish to see that. There was even a Metcalf on the survivors list. I guess he got lucky. We also made our way over to see the battleship Missouri. That was pretty cool! We spent our second day on the beach. The whole day. It was great! Our third day we hiked up Diamond Head and went out to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. We did the big pineapple maze and saw some of the pineapple plants. We shopped a lot there. They have everything pineapple you can imagine! Of course we had some straight from the source Dole Whip (pineapple ice cream). I was sooooooooooo good! As a matter of fact, I can’t wait to have more when we go back to Minnesota next week for the State Fair! We spent all day the next day shopping, and then hit the beach, and out last day we literally rented a cabana and sat on the beach from breakfast until dinner! I have seriously never relaxed so much on a vacation! It was great!!!!!

Since we got back I’ve been going stir crazy. Life has just been too slow in our little town. I’m really not used to the slow paced life of small town America yet. Coming from a relatively large metropolitan area and moving here was a bit of a culture shock. Not welcome culture shock. Going on vacation reminded me of how much I liked my old hustle and bustle life, and coming back to the slow life has been difficult. I miss being able to run out and do things. I used to think, gee I really need to run over to Old Navy. I’ll go, it’ll only take 20 minutes. Now it’s a whole day trip to go because I’m not going to drive an hour to Old Navy for a 20 minute errand, so I have to be planning to do multiple things while I’m “in the city”. I know that eventually I will get used to the pace of life here, but I also battle with not wanting to slow down. I like a fast paced daily life. Fortunately, I have an 18 month old, so life won’t slow down for a while!

So, tonight I'm going to do something I have never done on my blog. I'm going to complain for a minute. I'm going to complain because it will make me feel better. There is a purpose, it's not just complaining for the sake of complaining. Once I get this off my mind I will feel better and be able to go on with life.

Ok, here goes...

I was rear ended yesterday. And, frankly, I'm mad about it. Here's what I'm mad about, it should have never happened! I was doing everything right. I was at an intersection where the light was green. I was turning left so I was stopped, yielding to oncoming traffic. I had my blinker on. The pick up truck behind me just simply didn't see me, or so he said. Chances are he was texting or messing with his phone or the radio or reading something. Something distracted him because he had been behind me at the previous stoplight. He knew I was there, but he didn't see me slow down and stop to turn left?? Anyway, The car is crunched, and the appraiser hasn't been out to look at it yet, so we are in limbo with the car, and Derek's $300 Britax Advocate car seat is junk now because any time you get in an accident you have to toss the car seat. So today we trekked down to Wichita to buy a new car seat. (we borrowed one from a friend for the trip down there.) Only to find, of course, that we would be unable to purchase the same car seat as a replacement. Apparently the Advocates are only sold online, well we don't have time to wait around for them to ship one to us because we need it in 3 days to drive to the airport. We couldn't keep the one we borrowed for 2 weeks, so we were stuck. So, we bought a Boulevard instead. I'm mad about that too. Here's the deal, I did a lot of research on car seats before I bought the Advocate. The reason I chose the Advocate over the Boulevard is because of the side impact cushions. The Advocate has them, the Boulevard doesn't. I'm mad because I feel like now my son isn't as safe as he was in the other car seat. And, while this may seem petty, I'm mad that they didn't even have a good fabric pattern in the Boulevard. They had this color that they said was "tan" but it looked like newborn baby poop. And then they had this kinda navy blue colored one with beige designs on it, and trust me it's not as nice as it sounds. It's kinda strange looking actually. But, this one was definitely the lesser of the two evils. So, now we have an ugly car seat that doesn't have the same safety features as our last one all because some moron was too busy with something else to concentrate on driving. Lastly, I'm mad at him. He was nice at the scene (he better have been) he took the tongue lashing I gave him pretty well. The police gave him a couple tickets, which was nice. But I'm still mad. I have a crunched car and an ugly car seat and a ruined weekend, and he wasn't even in his own car. It was a company car! Grrrrr.

Ok, thanks for putting up with that. I'm done complaining now.

This Past Week

We've had a doozy of a week! Nathan left last Monday for a trip to Colorado with the youth group. I thought that the week he was gone would be a breeze. I had a full day of work on Monday (which I hadn't had in over a year!) and it made the day go by quickly. Then Tuesday I had planned to take Derek to the pool, we have a standing play date on Mondays that we were going to move to a different day, I was planning to take Derek to the children's museum and we were going to have a really fun week. All my plans were shot to heck on Tuesday morning when Derek woke up with a fever. I figured no problem, so we would spend the day (which was rainy anyway) inside letting Derek rest. He sometimes gets low grade fevers when teething and they're always gone the next day. It wasn't gone on Wednesday. So we spent another day inside (gorgeous day this time). His fever was still sticking around on Thursday so we were inside again. I made a doctor's appointment for Friday since by now I knew it wasn't just teething. Nathan finally got home Thursday night, but he was exhausted. I took Derek to the doctor on Friday morning and discovered he had a "virus". Nothing specific, just a virus. So, he slept all day on Friday. Yesterday he finally felt better, but we took him to the all church picnic and today he is absolutely exhausted. He has been taking only one nap a day since he was 12 months old, and today he is on his second nap!! Continued prayers for his recovery would be appreciated!

Scripture Memory for Babies??

Nathan and I were discussing the other day an idea that has been on my mind for a while. I started thinking about it months ago when I ran across a friend of mine's child, about 3 years old, who could sing every single word to a popular secular song that was on the radio. My friend (who is a Christian) was very proud of her child. There was a video that went viral not long ago of a toddler boy singing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" (you know the one where he melts down when his father tells him "you're not a single lady buddy"). And these experiences got me thinking. If our two and three year olds can sing the words to the secular songs we hear on the radio in the car (I'll talk about my opinion on that in a minute) why do we think they are too young to start memorizing Scripture?

Here's the deal. If you want your young child(ren) to learn Scripture from a young age, the key is music!! So, turn off the GARBAGE that is on secular radio (trust me on this guys. There is nothing good on it anyway. Any of you heard Usher's "OMG"? Case and Point.) just turn it off. Why are we pumping our kids' heads full of this crap? Why are they learning the lyrics to "Single Ladies"? Good grief people! Have you ever listened to the lyrics of these songs yourself? I'll tell you what, there is no way my son is gonna hear this stuff at his age or any other age that I control what is listened to in the car. Yuck. Instead, find some Scripture memory program that puts Scripture to music. I grew up listening to G.T. and the Halo Express. It's a series of 7 CD's (now a days. Back then they were cassette tapes!) that have a story and verses set to music to go with the story. I hadn't listened to G.T in years (up until Christmas of last year) and I could still sing you the verses I learned listening to it. I want that for my son. I want my son to learn Scripture and hide it in his heart. I want my son to get to be an adult and still know all the Scripture he learned as a little child. I want to be the kind of parent that points him toward God this way. So it's settled. Who's with me on this? Let's abandon the music of the world and trade it for Christ Centered music. Let's pump our children full of Scripture so that they can grow up wielding the Word of God which is sharper than a double edged sword. And while we're at it, let's learn some Scripture ourselves.

Here are a couple resources if you are interested in helping your children memorize Scripture:
G.T. and the Halo Express- www.gthalo.com
Children Desiring God, Fighter Verse Program- www.childrendesiringgod.org/resources/resource.php?id=2

A Bunch of Thoughts

I need to blog, but I don't have any one particular topic rolling around in my head, so I guess I'll just write down all the little snippets.

-I bought Derek a leash today. We are headed to an amusement park on Monday with the youth group, and after Derek threw fits about sitting in the stroller in the mall I figured he's not going to be any more inclined to sit in a stroller at an amusement park. Today I read on Facebook that leashes are "for lazy parents who don't exercise and can't keep up with their children." I walk 5 miles every single day. Believe me, I can keep up with my child. What I don't like are shrill screaming fits because he doesn't want to sit in the stroller, or him dropping to his knees every foot and a half because he's ticked that he has to hold my hand. Besides, when he holds my hand he has to hold his arm way up to reach me, and would you want to walk around with your arm in the air all day? I think not. So, I bought a leash. I think it makes me a responsible mother who wants to start teaching her son about freedom with limits. If you think it makes me lazy then I will gladly accept your criticism and say sweetly to my son right in front of you, "Awwwww Derek, look at the judgy lady(/man). Isn't she cute when she's being condescending? I can be adorable when I'm being condescending too!" Ok, I won't really say that, but I'll think it!

-We are going to Hawaii soon. I am so excited!!! I have a lot to do to get ready to go. Yikes!

-I read an article today from a natural parenting source (that I do respect mostly actually) about glucose testing. It said that glucose testing is ridiculous and that Gestational Diabetes is a crock of crap. Tell that to my two close friends who have had GD. Tell that to the one of them for whom it didn't go away after pregnancy. Tell her that GD is a load of nonsense. Sometimes I have to shake my head and move on to the next topic on that site.

-I love the Liberty Mutual Insurance commercials that show strangers doing random acts of kindness for each other. There should be more of that in the world, especially from Christians.

Ok, I'm out of thoughts for the night, but at least I put something on the page right? :)

Memorial Day

So, Memorial Day tomorrow has me thinking about my grandparents. My mom's parents were amazing. I have such awesome memories of them. Fishing off my grandpa's boat and eating lunch on the dock. Grandma pressing a $20 into my little hand before we left for the airport and whispering "don't tell your mother!" with a smile on her face. The basket on the coffee table that was ALWAYS filled with candy. Not the nasty hard candy either, the good stuff like peanut butter Twix and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and mini Nestle Crunch bars. Yum! The house that was always warm and in the old days smelled like cigarette smoke, and in the latter days smelled just faintly like the smoke but more like the roast in the rotisserie oven. Even the TV always being on is a fun memory. It was the only time we were allowed to watch TV all day, and CABLE at that!! :) I remember the bed in the middle room. The middle room used to be a dining room in the compartmentalized style of those little saltbox houses. It still had a dining room table in it, but it was never used. The bed in there was one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on. And, I could see the TV from the door at the end of the bed that was always open a crack. As a kid I would lay at the opposite end of the bed and watch it until I was too tired to watch anymore. :) There were trophy fish mounted on the walls. There was a pretty little (ok, not so little, but in comparison with some of the others it was) blue fish that I wish I had. For some reason I liked that fish. It was my favorite. I loved lunches from Wegman's that Grandma would go with us to get. She would always make sure we got to Bill Gray's and Abbott's. SUPER YUM! I remember her saying at Abbott's "forget my diabetes! I'm having some frozen yogurt!" Haha! I remember Grandpa's huge metal belt buckles with deer or fish on them. He would always forget to take them off at the airport and would set the metal detector off. I remember the way he would say "hi honey!" to me and my sister. They were the same words Grandma would say but said totally different. I remember the flat feeling in my heart the day I was told Grandpa had lung cancer. It was not a surprise, he had been a heavy smoker, but it was horrible nonetheless. I remember the last time I saw him. Spring break (March??) 1999. I was 15. I wanted to go to Florida and was mad I had to be in New York. I will never fully forgive myself for that. The cancer was spreading and he was sometimes not in his right mind. I remember talking about going to Wegman's for lunch and him saying "Barbecue? We're having barbecue??" And Grandma, lol, just went off; "We're not having barbecue!! Who said anything about barbecue? Nobody said anything about barbecue!" We had to laugh or we would cry. We still laugh about it. I remember the day I found out he died. I was at school. Mom and Dad didn't call me to tell me. I happened to call after school to ask a question and pulled it out of Dad. I cried in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I'm sure people thought I was crazy or something. I don't remember much about Grandpa's funeral. I remember thinking that his casket was so "him". I remember the internment being so final. I remember Grandma looking frantically for Aunt Sandy who's headstone had been accidentally covered by the green fake turf carpet spread over the opening of Grandpa's grave. We pulled back the carpet so Grandma could see her oldest daughter, and could be assured Grandpa was being buried in the right place. I remember how three years after Grandpa died, Grandma got on a plane for the first time in many many years and flew out to see me graduate from high school. It was June 2002. It was so precious. When it was time for her to leave the ticketing agent at the airport asked me if I wanted a special pass so I could accompany her to the gate. (This was after 9/11 so the rules had changed.) I got to go to the gate with her and sit with her until they boarded her onto the plane. Just her and me time. She pressed a $20 into my hand as they were wheeling her away and advised "don't tell your mother." :) 5 months later Dad called me at college to tell me she had passed suddenly. The tears came freely. They still do when I think about it. So did the words "I see the Lord seated on the throne, exalted. And, the train of His robe fills the temple with glory!" I thought that is what Grandma is seeing right now!! How blessed is she! I also barely remember Grandma's funeral. I remember "Old Rugged Cross." The song still brings tears to my eyes. I remember the rain the next day during the internment. It was very fitting. I remember pulling back the green carpet to make sure Aunt Sandy and Grandpa were there and that we were burying her in the right place. It's what she would have wanted done. I wish I could go this year and lay flowers on their graves. Oh how I miss them. They would have loved Nathan. They would have adored Derek. They would have pressed $20's into his little hand and told him not to tell me. They would have kissed his little dimples. He would have called them grandma great and grandpa great. Someday he will see them in heaven I am convinced of it. But for now he will hear stories about them so that he will know that they lived and that they were loved by their oldest granddaughter. They were both World War II vets, but that is not how I remember them. This is how I remember them, how I will always remember them.

Baby(not so)Wise

I forget if I have mentioned the dangers of the book On Becoming Babywise in this blog or not. It has been linked to failure to thrive infants, and other developmental issues. The Christian Research Counsel has published an article regarding the dangers of Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo both technically (as far as their sketchy parenting information) and theologically. This is a fantastic article and I highly recommend my Christian parent readers check it out!

The Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International

How Great is our God!!!!

If you want to know how great God is, just ask these people!!!

Bill and Cara whose daughter Sophia Grace was born this month
Brian and Marci whose son Elijah Sullivan was born this month (the same day as Sophia!)
Bryan and Rachel whose son Elijah Timothy was born this month

Praising God for the blessing of children!!!!

An Informed Decision

Before Derek was born I asked Nathan a seemingly no-brainer question. "Are we going to have him circumcised? Nathan answered "of course." It was the answer I expected, and quite honestly the answer I wanted. First of all, Nathan has Jewish heritage so I was fairly certain that Nathan was going to want Derek circumcised for that if no other reason. Second of all I was under the impression that it's healthier for boys to be circumcised. I had been told that there are all sorts of things that could go wrong if a boy is left uncircumcised. Urinary tract infections, cancer, fungal growth ect. I thought "yuck!" I didn't want my son to get an infection. I also thought that it was just something that you did with your boys. After all, Nathan is circumcised and so was every other boy born to our friends recently so I thought it was something you just did.

Then, Derek was born. In the hospital they gave me an information sheet about circumcision along with the consent form I had to sign. I wish I read that information sheet. Here is what the information sheet said (I have bolded the parts that are important):

"What are some of the medical reasons for circumcision?-
-May lower the risk of infection. Such infections are rare and usually easy to treat.
-May lower the risk of cancer of the penis. This is a rare cancer and proper care will work as well to prevent.
-May lower the risk later in life of getting or passing on sexually transmitted diseases. But more studies need to be done on this.
-Will prevent certain problems that can affect the foreskin. These problems are rare.

"What are some of the medical reasons against circumcision?
-The foreskin is not an accident of nature. It helps protect the tip of the penis against irritation and scarring though scarring is rare.
-The surgery is painful. Pain medication can be used but there is a risk of side effects.
-The surgery is permanent.
-The surgery has some risks

"What are the risks of circumcision?
-As with any surgery there is a risk of bleeding, infection and unforeseen problems.
-In rare cases too much or too little of the foreskin can be removed.
-A band of scar tissue may form on the penis."

That was the information sheet given to me by the HOSPITAL! They were more than willing to do the surgery, but the whole time they were giving me reasons not to do it. I wish I had listened. In my quest to be a more informed parent I have discovered that I have made a terrible mistake that I cannot take back.

When they took Derek for the surgery they asked if I wanted to accompany him. Something in the back of my brain told me that I didn't want to go. That should have been my first clue. My maternal instinct to protect my son from the certain excruciating pain should have kicked in, but it didn't. Instead I sent Nathan with him so that he didn't have to go alone. Hearing Nathan describe what happened when they returned made me cry. Even then I didn't get it. I still thought I had done what was best for my son.

I know better now. I have done a lot of research, and I have to give credit to the Peaceful Parenting blog for setting me on the path to informed decision making. Here are some facts about the foreskin that I bet you didn't know!

-The penis was never meant to be a dry organ. The foreskin is intended to keep the head of the penis moist.
-The foreskin prevents the desensitization of the penis head. This creates a better sexual experience.
-The foreskin maintains optimal temperature and PH balance.

There is so much more to post about the case against circumcision. For example, the routine circumcision of boys didn't start until the Cold-War era. Ironically the same time that formula feeding was normalized. Interesting huh? As for the Jewish argument, well, my response to that is this: we live under the New Covenant, we are free in Jesus Christ of the Old Law. Just as Jews and Gentiles alike do not have to follow the old dietary rules, so we do not have to follow the old rules of separation. We are made separate from the world by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, not by mutilating a part of our bodies. Also, if an intact penis is properly cared for there is no more chance of infection than there is with a cut penis. Proper care includes wiping the intact penis down like a finger and NEVER retracting the foreskin. Many doctors will tell parents of intact boy to do this. Be informed. Only clean what is seen!!!! The foreskin is fused until sometime around adolescence when it will retract on its own. Then you must teach your son to retract it and clean it in the shower.

So bearing all that in mind I have on my to do list to write a letter of apology to my sweet Derek for making the decision to remove a part of his body that I did not have a right to take. And I have made the decision, and Nathan is in full agreement with me, that any future sons will be left intact. God doesn't make mistakes, and He didn't make a mistake when He created the foreskin.

Upset Tonight...

I am upset tonight. I am upset that a person that our family cares about is hurting and the person who is hurting her doesn't care. I am upset that the hurt person is just a kid and the person hurting her is an adult and should know better. I am upset that the adult can't see past their own selfish sin enough to give a crap about anything. I am upset that no one is doing ANYTHING about it. I am upset that I have to pretend to be nice to this adult because I am not in the position to say anything when I know about the rampant unrepentant sin going on. I am upset and I hope I don't see this adult any time soon because nothing that will come out of my mouth will be nice.

What I am Afraid of...

I attended the Bethlehem Baptist Women's Conference this weekend. Let me first say that I am so very very grateful to my husband for agreeing to spend the weekend with Derek so that I could fly to Minnesota for this conference. What a blessing you are to me, Love!

The theme of the conference this year was "You are Mine... do you believe it?" It was about fear. I blogged a little while ago about my fear regarding having another child. The question was posed to us, "what are you afraid of?" Here is my lengthy list:

- I am afraid of tornadoes

-I am afraid of potatoes that have grown roots (don't ask it's weird I know)

-I am afraid of spiders

-I am afraid of change

- I am afraid of the unknown

-I am afraid of failure

-I am afraid that I am inadequate in terms of being a wife, a mother, and a child of God

-I am afraid of being alone

-I am afraid of my own sinful nature and the pull that it has on my life

-I am afraid of spiritual attacks from the evil one and the father of lies that cause fear.

Some of these are pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things. Tornadoes are certainly cause to be afraid, but spiders? Really? And how about those potatoes with roots? I mean come on! But the others are deep fears rooted in sin. Here is how I combat those fears.

Speak the truth to counteract the lies that cause the fears. The best way to do this is to continually speak Scripture to yourself. This is why Scripture memorization is so important. Some of my favorite "fear" verses are as follows:

Psalms 56:3 "When I am afraid I will trust in you."

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Hebrews 13:6 "So we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid; what can man do to me?'"

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Psalm 27:1 "The is my Light, and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

There are so many more verses I could give but these are some of my favorites. I use them to speak truth to myself when I am afraid.

-When I am afraid of change: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

- When I am afraid of the unknown: "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

-When I am afraid of failure: "So we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my helper I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:6

-When I m afraid of being inadequate: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

-When I am afraid of being alone: "So do not fear for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

-When I am afraid of my sinful nature: "When I am afraid I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

-When I am afraid of spiritual attack: "But the Lord is faithful and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 2 Thessalonians 3:3

The truth of Scripture trumps all fear. So thank you Lord, for being a God of faithfulness who gives your children the courage to overcome their fears. Thank you for winning the battle so that when we meet you in Heaven there will be no more fear!

Biblical Parenting

My good friend sent me this information shortly after I posted about the Pearls' book. She is reading a book called Grace Based Parenting (I'm sorry I cannot for the life of me get my computer to italicize this.) by Dr. Tim Kimmel. Dr. Kimmel has a family ministry called Family Matters that seems to be pretty good. I will include a link below. Just in case anyone wants an alternative to the Pearls' horrible teaching!

www.familymatters.net

Have You Ever....

Remember that game as a kid where you had to stand or sit in a circle and someone in the middle says "have you ever (insert something you have done)?" and if you have done it you had to get up and switch seats with everyone else who had also done it. If you didn't get a seat, you had to stand in the middle and say "have you ever.....?" I loved that game. The worst part of it was all the kids would try to find the most exciting or amazing thing they had ever done, and it usually was somewhere they had traveled. I almost always had to get up and move. "Have you ever been to New York!" Sarah gets up and moves. "Have you ever been to Florida!" Sarah gets up and moves. "Have you ever been to Hawaii!" Sarah gets up and oh guess what, she's the only one up. Now I'm stuck in the middle cuz the only other kid who has been to Hawaii is in the middle already. Now it's my turn, so keeping in trend I say something like "Have you ever been to France!" No one moves. grrrrrrrr

Anyway, that's not really the point of this post, although it is kinda funny. The point of this post is to ask my readers some "have you ever" questions!! I will ask the question and then explain the story of how it happened to me!

-Have you ever gotten sun poisoning?

I did the summer of 2004. I went to South Carolina to visit Nathan in June and we went to Isle of Palms for a day. Neither of us wore sunscreen the WHOLE day and the next day I was burned to a crisp and sooooo sick all I could do was sit on the couch and moan in pain and nausea. It sucked. The upside was that when the burn turned brown I looked FANTASTIC! :)

-Have you ever read another religion's book (like the Koran or the Book of Mormon) just because you wanted to know what it said?

I found a copy of the Book of Mormon next to a Gideon Bible in a hotel room once and I took it with me and read it because I wanted to know what it said. I won't give a book report of it though.

-Have you ever been told you were a crappy parent?

I was told by a complete stranger in the mall that I was a crappy parent for giving Derek formula. *eye roll*

-Have you ever pretended you aren't very hungry while a guest at someone else's house because you seriously don't like what was for dinner? You would rather have gone hungry till breakfast than eat it?

I can't tell you whose house I was at, but the food was laden with things I hate. There were just too many elements to pick out so I pretended I wasn't hungry at all. Then I made Nathan go through a drive through on the way home cuz I was ravenous! He thought it was hilarious.

Okay guys, now it's your turn to answer!!!!! (At least you don't have to worry about getting stuck in the middle!)

Biblical Parenting

A few weeks ago I was perusing the shelves of the small Christian bookstore in our town and I was chacking out the parenting section (cause I need all the help I can get! Haha!). There was a book on the shelf called To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debbie Pearl. I shuddered. For those who aren't aware the Pearls run a website and "ministry" called No Greater Joy. It's awful. These are the types of people who advocate spanking for every and any offense. Recently a 5 year old daughter of parents who closely follow the Pearls' teachings was beaten to death. The autopsy performed reported that she died from complications due to the blunt force trauma she received from being repeatedly beaten with rubber hose. Isn't that awful? I left their book on the shelf. I would encourage you all to do the same. I do however have some excerpts from their book that I'd like to post here for you all to chew on. Some of these things are truly terrible.

1) The Pearls recommend whipping infants only a few months old on their bare skin. They describe whipping their own 4 month old daughter (p.9). They recommend whipping the bare skin of "every child" (p.2) for "Christians and non-Christians" (p.5) and for "every transgression" (p.1). Parents who don't whip their babies into complete submission are portrayed as indifferent, lazy, careless and neglectful (p.19) and are "creating a Nazi" (p.45).

2) On p.60 they recommend whipping babies who cannot sleep and are crying, and to never allow them "to get up." On p.61 they recommend whipping a 12 month old girl for crying. On p.79 they recommend whipping a 7 month old for screaming.

3) On p.65 co-author Debi Pearl whips the bare leg of a 15 month old she is babysitting, 10 separate times, for not playing with something she tells him to play with. On p.56 Debi Pearl hits a 2 year old so hard "a karate chop like wheeze came from somewhere deep inside."

4) On p.44 they say not to let the child's crying while being hit to "cause you to lighten up on the intensity or duration of the spanking." On p.59 they recommend whipping a 3 year old until he is "totally broken."

5) On p.55 the Pearls say a mother should hit her child if he cries for her.

6) On p.46 the Pearls say that if a child does obey before being whipped, whip them anyway. And "if you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher." "Defeat him totally." On p.80 they recommend giving a child having a tantrum "a swift *forceful* spanking." On the same page they say to whip small children on their bare skin until they stop screaming. "Don't be bullied. Give him more of the same." They say to continue whipping until their crying turns into a "wounded, submissive whimper."

7) On p.47 they recommend their various whips, including "a belt or larger tree branch" to hit children.

8) The Pearls recommend pulling a nursing infant's hair (p.7), and describe tripping their non-swimming toddler so she falls into deep water (p.67). They recommend ignoring an infant's bumped head when he falls to the floor, and ignoring skinned knees (p.86). They also say "if your child is roughed-up by peers, rejoice." (p.81) And on p.103 the Pearls say if children lose their shoes, "let them go without until they (the children) can make the money to buy more."
(From www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com)

Doesn't this just make your hair curl? Much of the stuff on their website is just as bad. There are seeds of wisdom in the fact that they are advocating disciplining your child. I'm not against spanking, but I like Dr. Dobson's approach much better that there are certain times and offenses that require spanking, but they are grave and serious offenses, not piddly little things that are just part of your child learning boundaries.

If you have this book read with caution!!!!!

Fear

Ok, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I'm afraid. Maybe I should start at the beginning....

One of my besties who actually lives in the same state as me (few and far between these days) is pregnant with their second child. Their first is a month younger than Derek. I am SOOOOO stinking happy for them!!! Her DH asked Nathan about a week after they found out when we were thinking of having another baby. Nathan very wisely answered "not for a while." Now since my friend and I were pregnant together the first time her being pregnant without me got me thinking about why I don't feel ready to have another baby. I've come up with all sorts of good reasons.

Derek is only 14 months. I mean come on! I don't want them THAT close together.
Life is just starting to get REALLY good with Derek, I'm not sure I want to bring a newborn in yet.
I hated the newborn stage. Not in a hurry to do that again.

But the main reason is this: I'm afraid. I'm afraid to lose this awesome stage that I am at with Derek. I'm afraid of losing my bond with him. I'm afraid I won't be able to love a new baby as much as I love Derek. If having Derek changed my life this much how much more will a new baby change stuff. I don't like change. There are times when I yearn for my pre-child life, and I hate those times because I know I would never trade in my sweet son for ANY of that old life... but still sometimes I remember how easy life used to be. Will I long for my one child days when I have two? Is that fair to my children???? I don't know. I have a tendency to fear the unknown. So there you have it folks; the real reason I am in no hurry to add to our little family of three. Now, please don't ask me about it! :)

Car Seat Safety

I posted last August about car seat safety, but I think I've garnered some new readers since then. I'm linking a few sites about car seat safety for those interested. Also, I cannot urge moms of older babies enough to consider Extending Rear Facing (ERF). Although the law (in most if not all states) says that you may turn your baby forward at one year and 20 pounds (must meet both requirements), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises that you wait until 2 years old to turn the car seat around. The reason for this is that the bone structure of young toddlers is still soft and pliable and because they are still developing their skeletal systems many bones and joints have not fused together at one year. If a car accident was to occur with a one year old forward facing they are at great risk of severing the spinal cord or internal decapitation. Yes, internal decapitation!!! Yikes people!!!

The most common objection to ERF goes something like this, "where will my child's legs go? Won't they break in an accident?" In fact there have been no documented cases of broken legs, or hips in ERF children involved in a car crash. So, this argument is pointless. Your child's legs will not break, and even if they did, I'd rather have a child with two broken legs who's alive versus a child who was internally decapitated and is dead.

Also, remember that user error is also common in car seat usage. Many many parents do not tighten the straps tight enough. You should not be able to pinch the strap between two fingers at the child's shoulder. For rear facing the straps should be threaded into the seat slightly below the child's should height. For forward facing they should be threaded at or above the child's shoulder level. The chest clip should be exactly at armpit height, NEVER above or below this level. I recently discovered someone using their 5 point car seat harness as a 3 point harness. Not cool. If you don't use your car seat the way it was designed to be used it will not protect your child the way it was designed to protect him or her. Remember that if you use the LATCH system on your vehicle to anchor your car seat, don't use a seat belt as well. Again, your car seat was designed to be used EITHER with the LATCH system OR the seat belt. Using both will cause the car seat to malfunction in the event of an accident. If your child is old enough to be turned forward facing (at least 2 years old) make sure you tether the car seat. Also keep in mind that most LATCH systems were only designed to be used with children up to 40 pounds. If your child is over 40 pounds switch from using the LATCH to a seat belt.

Ok, anything else I'm sure you can get from these links!!


prayerofhannah.blogspot.com/2009/06/rewind-to-car-seat-safety.html


www.cpssafety.com
www.nhtsa.gov
www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm (To find a safety seat installation inspector near you!)
www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm

Dear Drivers,

Dear Drivers in the small town I live in,
I just want to clear the air so that you all can stop giving me dirty looks while we are driving. I am a city driver. This means that when the light turns green, and I am turning left, I will inch into the intersection. I am not cutting you off. I am ensureing that I will be able to turn on this light just in case you are slow. I do not stop at yield signs unless there is a reason to. If I have a yield sign and there is a car coming, fair enough I need to stop. But if there is no traffic, I will not be stopping. So there's no use honking at me from behind and gesturing wildly at the sign. It is not a stop sign and I haven't done anything wrong. You shouldn't stop either unless there is traffic to yield to. Just because I am from the city does not mean I come equipped with x-ray vision. A blind intersection is still a blind intersection to me. When I come up to the intersection I will stop a little back or creep just a little forward to see around the obstacle. Again, there is no need to honk at me from behind if I stop a little back. I'd like to see any oncoming traffic so as not to endanger my life or the life of my child. Thanks. There's no need to honk at me if my nose creeps out a little either. I am not stupid. I will not just pull out into an intersection when I can't see. And if perchance I don't see you and start to go, and then I do see you and stop suddenly, there's no need to slow down in 10 mph just so you can be sure to give the dirtiest look possible. I saw you, I stopped. Keep going. Nothing to get upset about. And finally, when I'm backing out of a parking space and you come around the corner and I see you and stop, then PLEASE don't honk at me. YOu weren't there, then you were and I stopped. It just makes you a jerk to honk at me after I'm already stopped and waiting for you.
Thanks for your understanding,
Sarah

Joy

Nathan mentioned to me this morning that he read on a friend's facebook status a quote that sid something along the lines of "people who are only living for adventure and thrill in life need to realize that following Jesus is the greatest adventure of all." or something like that. You know basically what I'm talking about. Anyone who has been a Christian for any amount of time has heard something like that before. The thing I hate about sayings like this is that they imply that life is all about thrill and adventure seeking. I tend to be a person that lives for thrills. Not the skydiving, bungee jumping, extreme hiking thrill; but the thrill of something to look forward to in a day. Going out to dinner or going to the park. I love being able to look forward to hanging out with friends, or a big event that's not too far away. There's nothing I hate more than waking up in the morning to discover that I have nothing on my calendar. Days spent cooped up at home with a 13 month old are less than enjoyable for me. Plus, when I spend the day at home that means I have no excuse not to do the dreaded house work. Days spent at home are a drudgery for me. This shouldn't be!!!! Proverbs 31 describes the house wife as a woman who does the work cheerfully. And the housework really isn't bad at all compared to the days I spent woring at the hotel. (Ugh!) So, where is my joy? Why am I only looking for joy in the here and now and not in the eternal. Parenting my son is eternal, being a good wife to my husband is eteranl. Going out to dinner isn't.

"Oh Lord, focus my mind and heart on You so that I may be eternally minded. Help me to find joy in the everyday life I live, and let my heart be cheerful and pleasing to You!"

Sick?? (A bit of a vent)

I just had to add this, I know I already posted today, but this is my blog and there's no law that says you can't post twice in one day right? :)

On another blog I frequent (I won't say which one and no it's not listed on the side of my page) the writer posed the question: "How do you react when your kid tells you they are sick?" I was SHOCKED by the majority of parents saying that they would have very little sympathy on a sick kid. One parent responded with this little gem:

"I tell them to get going or they will miss the bus. But I am sick. You can be sick at school. Hookey is for when you are well."

WHAT????? Seriously parents??? When my Derek is sick we spend the day in our pajamas drinking juice and watching Baby Signing Time. It's one thing if your school age kid is faking because they have a test or something, but if you are a parent worth your weight in salt you will know if your kid is faking it. I simply cannot imagine EVER telling my kid to suck it up. If your kid is sick, he is SICK! Let him stay home! If for no other reason than not to infect MY kid!!!!!

What is up with parents expecting more out of our kids than we expect out of ourselves??????

Thinking ahead... A lot

Seeing as how I don't have children who are at the age where I can assign them chores, this post may seem a bit irrelevant for me, but it's not. The issue crops up in children's books and in conversations with other parents, and even in movies. I'm talking about chores and allowance. More specifically what is an allowance for and why should or shouldn't children receive it.

There seems to be two primary arguments for not giving children allowance. The first is that they should do their chores simply because they are part of the family. They should not be paid for doing them. The second is the parents saying "my child has what he needs and he does not need any money." They cite several reasons that I've heard for not giving the child an allowance in this second argument. I've heard parents say, "It's my money and my child doesn't need it," "I don't want my child to learn to value money. It's not that important," "My child doesn't need to learn how manage money until he's older," things of that nature.

There are a couple reasons I don't understand either argument. For the first one my question is simply this, why wouldn't you pay your child a small allowance as a reward for doing his required chores? Ok, I get it, chores are a part of life. But so is work. You go to work to earn money. I mean, how well would it fly with you if your boss said to you "you should do your work and do it perfectly simply because you're part of the company. We shouldn't have to pay you to do it." It wouldn't fly with me that's for sure. Neither does it fly with me that I should expect my child to do his chores with little to no motivation other than "you're part of this family." If my dad had said that to me my response would have been something along the lines of "yippee freakin' skippee." For sure children should be taught to help cheerfully and out of the goodness of their hearts on top of their listed chores, but there's nothing wrong at all with paying or rewarding a child for completing their required chores on time (provided they are done well).

The second argument just sounds ridiculous to me. There is no reason your child shouldn't start learning about the value of money at a young age. And if you as a parent just provide whatever they want or need for them without them having to learn to work for it is just a bad idea. That's how you get spoiled children who don't know the value of a dollar. In my opinion anyway.

What do you think about allowances?

Welcomem Baby Jadon!!!

I've decided to go ahead and continue my trend of announcing births on my blog. With that said, I want to welcome Baby Jadon Josiah to the world! He was born at 8lbs. 6 oz. and 22 inches long!!! The proud parents are Chris and Heather! I got to meet him this afternoon and he is soooo cute!!!! Congratulations Chris and Heather!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday to my sweet son!!! Derek, you are the best thing that has happened to this family! You are so sweet and loving. You never hesitate to give a hug or a kiss even though you would rather play. You love to be held my mommy and love to build couch cushion forts with Daddy. You are so smart too! You can already say "car" and "cat" and "Mama" and "Dada." You know what an airplane is and bring your toy airplane to me when I ask you where it is! You can sign "milk, " "all done," "eat," "cracker," "water," "please," "thank you," "car," "ball," "socks," and "train." You love to watch your Baby Signing Time videos and I love that they help you learn! You love to play with Piper and are always quick to give him some pets or a kiss. You even love Calvin, even though he doesn't like you too much! :) You help Mommy with the laundry by putting the clothes into the laundry basket. Such a good helper! You are a good listener. If you understand what Mommy is asking you to do, you obey. You are so strong. I remember how you rolled over when you were 2 weeks old! You crawled when you were 5 months old, and you started walking when you were 10 months old! You have always been ahead of the game when it comes to your motor skills and your verbal skills are coming right along too!! You are smiley and happy and you make other people smile when you wave at them from the cart at Walmart. You are such a special boy and I am so glad that God gave you to me. Here's the lullaby I sing to you every night. I love you sweet son! May you stay sweet and grow strong in the Lord!!

"Today will soon be over,
Tomorrow will arrive.
Right now I'm going to hold you
until you close your eyes.
Words can't always sum up the feelings that I feel.
So peaceful when you're sleeping, I know you'll hear me still,

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

Exactly what I wanted, exactly who you are.
I know we'll work together and we will reach the stars.
Families stick together and family lasts forever.
Forever, that's how long I'll love you.

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

I know you are God's perfect gift to me!!!
I'm so glad that my baby is you!!!!!"
(Two Little Hands music)

Reflections....

So, Derek is about to turn a year old here in two weeks, and it boggles my mind how fast this past year has gone by. There are a few reflections I have and a few things I've learned that I thought I'd write down, mostly because I haven't blogged in a few weeks and I should post something! Haha! Okay, here we go:

Things I've learned over this past year:
1. Trust your Mommy instincts. I had suspected that something was up with Derek's digestive system for weeks before he started screaming non stop. Everyone told me he was fine, but I was not convinced. After receiving an Acid Reflux diagnosis and receiving Zantac he was fine and had outgrown the issue within 2 months.

2. New moms are actually grateful for advice from other relatively new moms. I could not get enough advice from young women I knew/know who had just had a baby right before me. They were still in the same stage as me, yet a couple of steps ahead and I valued their advice so much!! They also gave me hope that things would work themselves out. (Note: I didn't follow all the advice I received, but I was grateful to receive it.)

3. The nurses and "lactation consultants" in the hospital that try to force your baby to breastfeed while he screams and refuses to latch are NOT helpful. I'm convinced I was sabotaged because Derek wasn't allowed to figure it out on his own, and then I was sent home from the hospital with strict instructions to supplement him with formula. It was only 7 weeks before we were totally formula feeding. It has been a good thing for us, don't get me wrong. Derek and I bonded just fine and Nathan has LOVED being able to bond with him too that way.

4. You don't HAVE to wash baby clothes in Dreft.

5. While the rule of thumb for dressing babies (same as you plus one extra layer) is a good rule of thumb, it is only a rule of thumb and not all babies conform. Derek would be BOILING in his car seat last winter under only a long sleeve onesie, sweatshirt, sweatpants and socks. He had a cover on his infant seat to keep him warm and that thing did a GREAT job! I went to dressing him in only sweatpants or jeans and a long sleeve onesie. However, it still bugs me when I watch moms drag their babies around in frigid winter weather with no coat, no hat, and *gasp* no socks! I mean frigid, like below freezing. Then they complain to me that their child has a perpetual cold. Well duh.

6. Just because a baby spits up on you does not mean you have to change your clothes. I believed I did at first and I started running through shirts like water in your morning shower. After a few weeks I said "forget it" and started carrying shout wipes in the diaper bag. They take away the stain AND the smell of spit up. Shirt saved!

7. I wanted to buy only organic or natural products for Derek... until I saw how much they cost. Then I decided that I was just fine eating regular food, and he would be too. We are all going to get cancer one way or another anyway.

8. You can plug all the outlets, gate every stairway, close every door, put away every semi-dangerous item and your older baby will still find something to choke on. Derek choked on a chunk of cat hair he found under the couch. Luckily I finger swept it out. Now that the first choking is over, I feel better. I'm not in dread of it. Like that Scrubs episode where JD doesn't want to perform any medical procedures because he hasn't killed a person yet and he's terrified of doing it. Then Dr. Cox tells him he actually did kill a patient when he released her before she was ready and he feels better... until JD finds out he really didn't kill her after all........... :)

9. There will always be a mommy friend who doesn't want to hear anything you have to say about parenting. *shrug* oh well. Her loss.

10. It's ok to let your baby explore. I let Derek pull all the DVD's off the shelf and look at them, as long as he doesn't break them. I let him play with the kitten, and rearrange the kitchen chairs. I let him play with my hair and with the light switches and doorknobs, and even the blinds as long as I watch his every move. (There are no blinds that he can reach by himself.)

11. Make sure you keep an eye on your baby while he/she explores. I don't let Derek play with electrical cords, the DVD player, the cable box, or the lamps. This is a "duh" kind of statement, but a lot of parents don't pay attention.

12. It's ok to let Derek watch his sign language videos when he's crabby just to shut him up! It never fails!!!!!! And, there's the added bonus that I can get something done while he's watching it!

13. And the number one thing I've learned about parenting a baby is that every poopy diaper that runs over into a poopy outfit, every spit up, every screaming session, every sleepless night, every early morning, every missed nap, every time I get baby food sprayed in my face, every time he teethes, and every single hard moment is made up for 100 times over every time he plants his little baby lips on mine!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh

I hate January. Not to start out negative, but I really hate January. January is that boring little stretch of winter after the excitement of Christmas and before the light at the end of the tunnel in February. In Minnesota the light at the end of the tunnel really didn't come around until the end of March, but I'm really hoping that will be different in Kansas. Anyway, I'm not a winter lover. By the time January rolls around I've had enough. Funny since this fall in Kansas was ridiculously warm. It was in the 70's well into November!! But still, here we are in January and I'm like "ugh" already. Usually around this time of year my motivation flies out the window. Most people use January as a fresh start, but for me the year doesn't being until Spring!! I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't keep them anyway. I make spring resolutions. Those are much more fun!!!