An Informed Decision

Before Derek was born I asked Nathan a seemingly no-brainer question. "Are we going to have him circumcised? Nathan answered "of course." It was the answer I expected, and quite honestly the answer I wanted. First of all, Nathan has Jewish heritage so I was fairly certain that Nathan was going to want Derek circumcised for that if no other reason. Second of all I was under the impression that it's healthier for boys to be circumcised. I had been told that there are all sorts of things that could go wrong if a boy is left uncircumcised. Urinary tract infections, cancer, fungal growth ect. I thought "yuck!" I didn't want my son to get an infection. I also thought that it was just something that you did with your boys. After all, Nathan is circumcised and so was every other boy born to our friends recently so I thought it was something you just did.

Then, Derek was born. In the hospital they gave me an information sheet about circumcision along with the consent form I had to sign. I wish I read that information sheet. Here is what the information sheet said (I have bolded the parts that are important):

"What are some of the medical reasons for circumcision?-
-May lower the risk of infection. Such infections are rare and usually easy to treat.
-May lower the risk of cancer of the penis. This is a rare cancer and proper care will work as well to prevent.
-May lower the risk later in life of getting or passing on sexually transmitted diseases. But more studies need to be done on this.
-Will prevent certain problems that can affect the foreskin. These problems are rare.

"What are some of the medical reasons against circumcision?
-The foreskin is not an accident of nature. It helps protect the tip of the penis against irritation and scarring though scarring is rare.
-The surgery is painful. Pain medication can be used but there is a risk of side effects.
-The surgery is permanent.
-The surgery has some risks

"What are the risks of circumcision?
-As with any surgery there is a risk of bleeding, infection and unforeseen problems.
-In rare cases too much or too little of the foreskin can be removed.
-A band of scar tissue may form on the penis."

That was the information sheet given to me by the HOSPITAL! They were more than willing to do the surgery, but the whole time they were giving me reasons not to do it. I wish I had listened. In my quest to be a more informed parent I have discovered that I have made a terrible mistake that I cannot take back.

When they took Derek for the surgery they asked if I wanted to accompany him. Something in the back of my brain told me that I didn't want to go. That should have been my first clue. My maternal instinct to protect my son from the certain excruciating pain should have kicked in, but it didn't. Instead I sent Nathan with him so that he didn't have to go alone. Hearing Nathan describe what happened when they returned made me cry. Even then I didn't get it. I still thought I had done what was best for my son.

I know better now. I have done a lot of research, and I have to give credit to the Peaceful Parenting blog for setting me on the path to informed decision making. Here are some facts about the foreskin that I bet you didn't know!

-The penis was never meant to be a dry organ. The foreskin is intended to keep the head of the penis moist.
-The foreskin prevents the desensitization of the penis head. This creates a better sexual experience.
-The foreskin maintains optimal temperature and PH balance.

There is so much more to post about the case against circumcision. For example, the routine circumcision of boys didn't start until the Cold-War era. Ironically the same time that formula feeding was normalized. Interesting huh? As for the Jewish argument, well, my response to that is this: we live under the New Covenant, we are free in Jesus Christ of the Old Law. Just as Jews and Gentiles alike do not have to follow the old dietary rules, so we do not have to follow the old rules of separation. We are made separate from the world by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, not by mutilating a part of our bodies. Also, if an intact penis is properly cared for there is no more chance of infection than there is with a cut penis. Proper care includes wiping the intact penis down like a finger and NEVER retracting the foreskin. Many doctors will tell parents of intact boy to do this. Be informed. Only clean what is seen!!!! The foreskin is fused until sometime around adolescence when it will retract on its own. Then you must teach your son to retract it and clean it in the shower.

So bearing all that in mind I have on my to do list to write a letter of apology to my sweet Derek for making the decision to remove a part of his body that I did not have a right to take. And I have made the decision, and Nathan is in full agreement with me, that any future sons will be left intact. God doesn't make mistakes, and He didn't make a mistake when He created the foreskin.