Well all, Christmas is tomorrow and there is much anticipation and excitement around our house. I am pausing from baking and wrapping presents to write this hoping that it will bring some holiday cheer to you all. This year has been a crazy year for us. Last December just before Christmas I was laid off from my job at the hotel. One year ago we were wondering how we were going to make it through the next few months. Then, the Lord provided for us in the form of unemployment. Unemployment made it possible for me to plan to stay at home full time when our little boy was born in February... which of course brings me to the most joyous happening of all this year. On February 4th we welcomed Derek Bruce into our family. Our first baby! We are so happy that he is part of our family! We could not have asked for a better son. He is so easy going and talkative, and smart. He is 10 months old as I write this and he says "mama" to me and "dada" to Nathan. He says "no" (which I wish he didn't! lol) and "buh buh" for bye bye! He is eating table food (although not for full meals) and loves cracker snacks and Cheerios. He loves his sippy cups with the straws and water. He is smiley and happy obedient and tender hearted. He stands by himself, crawls around the house and plays with the cats. He is just all around a fantastic kid. In July we took a vacation to Illinois to see Nathan's family. We met up with our good friends Nick and Patty and Ben and Jena while on the trip and Derek got to meet his "cousins" Natalie and Kadence. Then on the 4th of July we went out to see Nathan's extended family and Derek got to play with his real cousins Caleb and Isaac. I never had any cousins growing up so I am excited that Derek gets to have them. Caleb is two years older than Derek and Isaac is only 4 months older than Derek, so it's really fun to know that he has a cousin the same age as him! We had a lot of fun in Illinois, but we had another issue to deal with at home. Nathan applied for a job as a youth pastor at a church in Kansas, and after applying for many youth pastor jobs and years of looking for one, we finally got a bite! The church called us to come for a visit, and they offered us the position at the end of our visit. That was a huge decision for us. We decided in August to accept the position, and we moved to Kansas at the end of September. We bought a house and moved into it in November. It is so exciting to own our own place! After renting for the last 4 1/2 years we finally have a place to call our own! It's wonderful!
Well, that has been our year in a nutshell. Amidst all the busyness of the season I want to urge you to take time to reflect upon the reason we celebrate Christmas. I am reminded time and time again as I hold Derek in my arms that Jesus was once a baby just like Derek and was held in Mary's arms just like I hold Derek in mine. Having a baby boy has brought home to me what a wondrous thing the incarnation was. How Jesus humbled himself and gave up His place in Heaven to come to earth as a baby. A helpless little baby. It's amazing. Praise God for His glorious redemption plan!!! Amen and Amen! Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Okay Discussion Time!
I'm tired of writing on here and knowing that people read this but no one ever comments! So here is a post that I want EVERYONE to comment on! Even lurkers (I know you're there!).
Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)
1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.
We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).
2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?
Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.
3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)
I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!
Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!
Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)
1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.
We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).
2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?
Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.
3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)
I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!
Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas Guest Blog
Hi all! I have gained permission from my good friends Jennifer and Aaron to use this post as a guest post on my page. They are in the middle of a journey to embryo adoption. To those unfamiliar with this term it goes something like this:
When a couple chooses to pursue in-vitro fertilization multiple embryos are created and then a few at a time are implanted into the mother's uterus. For many couples once the procedure has worked and they have gotten the number of children they desired, the remaining embryos are forgotten about. They remain frozen in cryogenics indefinitely, or worse yet, the parents give them over to the clinics where they are often killed in the pursuit of embryonic stem cell research. Embryonic adoption offers another alternative to these forgotten children. The embryos are adopted, and then implanted into the adoptive mother's uterus. She carries the child and gives birth just as if she had concieved naturally. This experience is unique because the adoptive mother gets to experience pregnancy and labor and delivery even though the child is not biologically related to her. This option of embryo adoption is also a less expensive and time consuming route than traditional adoption because, unfortunately, it is seen as a transfer of property rather than the adoption of a child. Anyway, this is the journey that Jennifer and Aaron have found themselves on and I am incredibly excited for them, and about embryonic adoption in general. Their story is a touching one and I will include a link to their blog at the end of this post! Thanks so much Jennifer and Aaron for allowing me to re post this!!!!
Here is a link to Jeenifer and Aaron's blog!
http://www.aaronandjennwilson.blogspot.com
When a couple chooses to pursue in-vitro fertilization multiple embryos are created and then a few at a time are implanted into the mother's uterus. For many couples once the procedure has worked and they have gotten the number of children they desired, the remaining embryos are forgotten about. They remain frozen in cryogenics indefinitely, or worse yet, the parents give them over to the clinics where they are often killed in the pursuit of embryonic stem cell research. Embryonic adoption offers another alternative to these forgotten children. The embryos are adopted, and then implanted into the adoptive mother's uterus. She carries the child and gives birth just as if she had concieved naturally. This experience is unique because the adoptive mother gets to experience pregnancy and labor and delivery even though the child is not biologically related to her. This option of embryo adoption is also a less expensive and time consuming route than traditional adoption because, unfortunately, it is seen as a transfer of property rather than the adoption of a child. Anyway, this is the journey that Jennifer and Aaron have found themselves on and I am incredibly excited for them, and about embryonic adoption in general. Their story is a touching one and I will include a link to their blog at the end of this post! Thanks so much Jennifer and Aaron for allowing me to re post this!!!!
Christmas Thoughts about Embryo Adoption
Well now that Thanksgiving is over, we are officially into the Christmas season. Of course, working in retail I've been experiencing the Christmas season since September. I'm glad that everyone else is now catching up.
I don't make many blog posts, but I wanted to share something that occurred to me a few days ago as I was thinking about Christmas. I was making my hour commute to work and reflecting on all the activity that Christmas brings to retail and the real reason that we as Christians celebrate the holiday. My mind went to a picture of a Willow Tree nativity that we keep on top of our entertainment center year-round. As I'm passing it, I often like to look at the baby Jesus in Mary's arms and remember how God left many of the privileges of Godhood and humbled himself by entering into the form of a baby. I realize that I've always thought of the beginning of the incarnation in that way: that in a moment in time, God left his throne for a manger.
What occurred to me that morning is that the real beginning of the incarnation didn't happen on Christmas. God didn't enter into humanity on Christmas morning as a baby, he entered it nine months earlier as a human embryo. Matthew 1:18 says that before Mary and Joseph came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit." Two verses later, God tells Joseph that "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." That's Biblical grounds for the existence of life at conception right there, that God equates "what is conceived" to being a child. Doesn't that make the incarnation all the more amazing? Jesus goes from ruling the world in Heaven with his Father and the Holy Spirit and enters into the smallest, most dependent, most microscopic form of human life. I've always known that Jesus has a heart for all unborn children, including those who are frozen as embryos. How much more do I know that now, realizing that the same Saviour who submitted himself to death on a cross for my sake, first submitted himself to a womb.
Even more special to embryo adoption is the fact that this could have been exactly what Mary and Joseph did. Not to get too technical, but we know that Jesus' conception was not of result of Joseph's or any man's sperm. We don't know if the Holy Spirit brought about Jesus' conception by using one of Mary's eggs or if Jesus was conceived as one cell without an egg at all. The latter however, is certainly a possibility and if it true, it means that Mary carried and adopted with Joseph a child who was not biologically related to them. If this happened, then the first embryo adoption happened over 2,000 years ago.
Again, we don't know the specifics of how the Holy Spirit brought about the incarnation, but even if Mary's egg had been used, Joseph adopted a child that his wife carried who was not biologically related to him. Of course, this was a miracle and a unique circumstance, so we can't use it to justify ethically debated forms of reproductive technology that aren't in the realm of embryo adoption. However, we can know for sure that the wonderful truth of the Christmas story includes a couple's commitment to adopt a baby before birth. I know all the more that it is God's desire that all embryo's get a chance at birth. I know this because Jesus was once one.
I don't make many blog posts, but I wanted to share something that occurred to me a few days ago as I was thinking about Christmas. I was making my hour commute to work and reflecting on all the activity that Christmas brings to retail and the real reason that we as Christians celebrate the holiday. My mind went to a picture of a Willow Tree nativity that we keep on top of our entertainment center year-round. As I'm passing it, I often like to look at the baby Jesus in Mary's arms and remember how God left many of the privileges of Godhood and humbled himself by entering into the form of a baby. I realize that I've always thought of the beginning of the incarnation in that way: that in a moment in time, God left his throne for a manger.
What occurred to me that morning is that the real beginning of the incarnation didn't happen on Christmas. God didn't enter into humanity on Christmas morning as a baby, he entered it nine months earlier as a human embryo. Matthew 1:18 says that before Mary and Joseph came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit." Two verses later, God tells Joseph that "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." That's Biblical grounds for the existence of life at conception right there, that God equates "what is conceived" to being a child. Doesn't that make the incarnation all the more amazing? Jesus goes from ruling the world in Heaven with his Father and the Holy Spirit and enters into the smallest, most dependent, most microscopic form of human life. I've always known that Jesus has a heart for all unborn children, including those who are frozen as embryos. How much more do I know that now, realizing that the same Saviour who submitted himself to death on a cross for my sake, first submitted himself to a womb.
Even more special to embryo adoption is the fact that this could have been exactly what Mary and Joseph did. Not to get too technical, but we know that Jesus' conception was not of result of Joseph's or any man's sperm. We don't know if the Holy Spirit brought about Jesus' conception by using one of Mary's eggs or if Jesus was conceived as one cell without an egg at all. The latter however, is certainly a possibility and if it true, it means that Mary carried and adopted with Joseph a child who was not biologically related to them. If this happened, then the first embryo adoption happened over 2,000 years ago.
Again, we don't know the specifics of how the Holy Spirit brought about the incarnation, but even if Mary's egg had been used, Joseph adopted a child that his wife carried who was not biologically related to him. Of course, this was a miracle and a unique circumstance, so we can't use it to justify ethically debated forms of reproductive technology that aren't in the realm of embryo adoption. However, we can know for sure that the wonderful truth of the Christmas story includes a couple's commitment to adopt a baby before birth. I know all the more that it is God's desire that all embryo's get a chance at birth. I know this because Jesus was once one.
http://www.aaronandjennwilson.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Joy of Giving
With the holidays on us I have been reflecting a lot on giving lately. This morning the thought hit me: How empty life would be without giving!!! Let me explain: on Saturday we went to the little Christian bookstore here in town looking for the Veggie Tales Christmas movie, The Toy that Saved Christmas. I LOVE that movie, and Derek had grown a love for Veggie Tales while visiting my parents last week. Anyway, they didn't have that movie, but they did have the newest one called St. Nicholas. I was apprehensive at first. I wasn't sure how much Santa Claus lore would be in it, and those of you who have read my blog at all know exactly how I feel about Santa Claus! But, I bought it and took it home anyway. I watched it first without Derek, and guess what... I LOVED it!!! Santa was in it, but it was all about the story of St. Nicholas and how the Santa Claus legend got started. It was also about giving. It really is hearwarming. It resonated with me because my love language is giving gifts. That's how I show people I love them. I realized that my life would be pretty sad without giving. Nothing makes me happier than when I'm asked to donate a dollar to childhood cancer research, the Salvation Army, the Red Cross, or the Make A Wish Foundation. (In my opinion there's no excuse for not donating the dollar. I mean come on, they ask you at the check out. You're already spending money. Donate the flipping dollar!) Anyway, as Christmas approaches I want to really focus on giving. There's a song on the Veggie Tales movie: "I can love because God loves me, I can give because He gave. Jesus' love it why I'm smiling, why I'm giving every day." I'm not talking about just giving gifts at Christmas, I'm talking about giving of myself. Giving up things that make me comfortable for the sake of my family. Giving up my nights when needed for the sake of my son. Giving up my "me time" to clean the house for the sake of my husband. When I do these things, I glorify God with my giving. That's what giving is all about. Glorifying God and following His example of humbling Himself to the point of death. So let's all think about how we can give of ourselves this Christmas!!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Statistics are Scary 1
90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week
This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.
The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.
The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.
This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.
The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.
The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Statistics are Scary
So I found these statistics about pastors and ministry and as a pastor's wife they really concern me. Why is it that these statistics are the case. Maybe I will try to write a new blog post every day (time permitting) addressing each one. That would be fun right? :) Here are the stats:
Why Pastors Leave the Ministry
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.
* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.
#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.
Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.
* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.
#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.
Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Repost
In the spirit of the holidays I'm reposting something I wrote back in April explaining my position on holiday issues.
I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.
Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)
These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.
I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.
Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)
These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.
Holidays
Once again the holidays are upon us and I am so excited. The past few years, the holidays have felt dull and unexceptional. I think that once you get older Christmas can lose some of the magic if you're not careful. Nathan and I have been incredibly guilty of just cruising through the holidays. That's been partially because of life circumstances. Our first Christmas as a married couple we spent by ourselves with no gifts (or one gift per person) and mainly spent the day dreading working our crazy retail jobs the day after. Three years ago we spent Christmas driving all over the country trying to visit everyone. Insane. Two years ago we both worked high pressure jobs that demanded our full attention. There wasn't a lot of time for holiday reflections. Last year I was VERY pregnant and had been laid off and spent most of the holiday season fighting for my unemployment benefits and sleeping on the couch. We barely got the tree up in time for Christmas. So that brings us to this year. This year will be different. This year the magic is already back. This year we have a child. I am excited beyond words for Derek's first Christmas. I am thrilled that he will be old enough to enjoy Christmas this year. he will have fun ripping paper off of his presents. He will play with the toys he is getting. He will stare at the Christmas tree in wonder. He will watch us build our family traditions this year. We have not placed a lot of emphasis on building our traditions, so this year we feel it is very important to do so. Here are some of the traditions we want to incorporate:
-Reading of the Christmas story and singing of Christmas carols as a family on Christmas Eve (either before or after the Christmas Eve service depending on the time of the service)
-Day after Black Friday decorating (not possible this year because we are not home!)
- Letting Derek put the star on the tree
-Opening each day of the advent calendar
-Saluting Nathan's Jewish heritage with a non-traditional Hanukkah nod
- setting up the nativity set (that we do not have yet!) and explaining the Christmas story to Derek as we do.
There are several traditions that will NOT be part of our holiday too. Things like Santa, and over commercialization have no place in our home. Instead we want our traditions to be Christ centered and family centered. Noel Piper (wife of Pastor John Piper) wrote a book called Treasuring God in Our Traditions that I LOVE and highly recommend to people looking to build family traditions. Anyone interested can find it and other books at this link: http://www.desiringgod.org/Store/Books/ByTopic/All/859_For_Mom/
With all that said, I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving. I am thankful beyond words for my husband who is patient with me and loves me unconditionally; for my son who is the biggest blessing I've ever received and is responsible for growing me in Christ and stretching me. He is beautiful and I love him with all my heart. And above all, I will never stop being thankful to Jesus Christ for what He accomplished on the cross and in His resurrection.
Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
-Reading of the Christmas story and singing of Christmas carols as a family on Christmas Eve (either before or after the Christmas Eve service depending on the time of the service)
-Day after Black Friday decorating (not possible this year because we are not home!)
- Letting Derek put the star on the tree
-Opening each day of the advent calendar
-Saluting Nathan's Jewish heritage with a non-traditional Hanukkah nod
- setting up the nativity set (that we do not have yet!) and explaining the Christmas story to Derek as we do.
There are several traditions that will NOT be part of our holiday too. Things like Santa, and over commercialization have no place in our home. Instead we want our traditions to be Christ centered and family centered. Noel Piper (wife of Pastor John Piper) wrote a book called Treasuring God in Our Traditions that I LOVE and highly recommend to people looking to build family traditions. Anyone interested can find it and other books at this link: http://www.desiringgod.org/Store/Books/ByTopic/All/859_For_Mom/
With all that said, I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving. I am thankful beyond words for my husband who is patient with me and loves me unconditionally; for my son who is the biggest blessing I've ever received and is responsible for growing me in Christ and stretching me. He is beautiful and I love him with all my heart. And above all, I will never stop being thankful to Jesus Christ for what He accomplished on the cross and in His resurrection.
Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Convention on the Rights of the Child
Ok, my friend Marci sent me this link and I think it's really important for all my parents who read this out there to visit it. It's in regards to the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child, which I understand to be an actual document that would take away parents' rights if ratified in the US. I've copied and pasted below 20 things you need to know about the CRC. Please read!!! It's really pretty scary!
You can click on the link above to visit the site and see the footnotes for these 20 things as well as get more information!
20 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE UN CONVENTION ON THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD
Ten things you need to know about the structure of the CRC:
- It is a treaty which creates binding rules of law. It is no mere statement of altruism.1.
- Its effect would be binding on American families, courts, and policy-makers.2.
- Children of other nations would not be impacted or helped in any direct way by our ratification.3.
- The CRC would automatically override almost all American laws on children and families because of the U.S. Constitution’s Supremacy Clause in Article VI.4.
- The CRC has some elements that are self-executing, while others would require implementing legislation. Federal courts would have the power to determine which provisions were self-executing.5.
- The courts would have the power to directly enforce the provisions that are self-executing.6.
- Congress would have the power to directly legislate on all subjects necessary to comply with the treaty. This would constitute the most massive shift of power from the states to the federal government in American history.7.
- A committee of 18 experts from other nations, sitting in Geneva, has the authority to issue official interpretations of the treaty which are entitled to binding weight in American courts and legislatures. This effectively transfers ultimate authority for all policies in this area to this foreign committee.8.
- Under international law, the treaty overrides even our Constitution.9.
- Reservations, declarations, or understandings intended to modify our duty to comply with this treaty will be void if they are determined to be inconsistent with the object and purpose of the treaty.10.
Ten things you need to know about the substance of the CRC:
- Children would have the ability to choose their own religion while parents would only have the authority to give their children advice about religion.13.
- The best interest of the child principle would give the government the ability to override every decision made by every parent if a government worker disagreed with the parent’s decision.14.
- A child’s “right to be heard” would allow him (or her) to seek governmental review of every parental decision with which the child disagreed.15.
- According to existing interpretation, it would be illegal for a nation to spend more on national defense than it does on children’s welfare.16.
- Children would acquire a legally enforceable right to leisure.17.
- Christian schools that refuse to teach "alternative worldviews" and teach that Christianity is the only true religion "fly in the face of article 29" of the treaty.18.
- Allowing parents to opt their children out of sex education has been held to be out of compliance with the CRC.19.
- Children would have the right to reproductive health information and services, including abortions, without parental knowledge or consent.20.
- Parents would no longer be able to administer reasonable spankings to their children.11.
- A murderer aged 17 years and 11 months and 29 days at the time of his crime could no longer be sentenced to life in prison.12
You can click on the link above to visit the site and see the footnotes for these 20 things as well as get more information!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Kansas
Well, we arrived in Kansas safely last Monday, and sent my mom home on Tuesday. We are trying our best to get settled in our temporary housing while we wait on our paperwork from the bank to go through on our house. We don't have a closing date yet but I am praying fervently for the end of this month. I feel off tonight. There have been some great times since moving here, but tonight feels sad to me. Derek isn't feeling well, and maybe that's why but tonight I feel like I want to go home more than I have the whole time I've been here. *sigh* Anyway, Derek is definitely getting tooth number two. Stinks cuz he just got tooth number one and I was hoping that he was done for at least a couple weeks. Oh well. Here we go again. I don't have much more to say really. I just thought I'd post an update for all of you back home who read this (and those who aren't at home and read this too!) I'll write more soon, and I hope it will be more interesting!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Today....
Today is my last day living in Minnesota. Here are the things I want to do today;
Get cheese curds at Burnsville Center
Ride on the motorcycle with Dad
Take a walk with Mom
Go to the zoo
Take Derek to see the airplanes
Don't know if I'll make it to all these, but I'd like to try!
Get cheese curds at Burnsville Center
Ride on the motorcycle with Dad
Take a walk with Mom
Go to the zoo
Take Derek to see the airplanes
Don't know if I'll make it to all these, but I'd like to try!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
September...
Well, September is upon us and with it comes the reality of what I am doing in two weeks. We are packing up our home and moving to Kansas. Nathan accepted a youth pastor position in Kansas and so we are off to a new place to live in two weeks. I cannot lie and say that I am excited. (Sorry everyone from down there reading this!) I have absolutely zero desire to leave Minnesota and leave my parents and sister, and leave my church, and leave my small group and all the friends I have there... I have been living in denial for about a month, but I can't any longer. I have started saying my goodbyes and started doing things for the last time. Last time going to MOA, last time eating at Frankie's, last time going to the Science Museum, last time going to the zoo... so many last times.... I can't even begin to think of what life will be like down there. I imagine that it will be pretty boring at first. Maybe for a long time. I don't know. Really, I do apologize to people from down there who might be reading this. I want you to know that it's nothing against you or your town. I just am having a hard time with leaving. I have never even tried to picture myself living in a small town, and all I can envision is me sitting around my house all day cleaning cooking and taking care of Derek. Also not the life I wanted. I do that here, but I also get the chance to get out besides going to Walmart. I have friends here with kids who go to the zoo with me and mall walk with me in the winter. I just hate losing that. I hate feeling like I'm losing my life. I'm going to miss everything from mall walking with my mom to actually getting date nights with Nathan because I have a babysitter here. I'm not all negative about the move. I mean we have bought a house down there that I really like, but that has done nothing to outweigh the sorrow I feel. I wanna go back to ignoring the impending move. I wanto to go back to having more time. I want to go back to June before all this happened. And now I have nothing more to say. So I'm \just going to end it. Sorry I am so depressing tonight, but this is my blog, and I just had to get my stuff out there. It's driving me crazy just sitting in my head all the time! :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Parenting advice from People Who Don't Have Kids!
Ok, so that title is bad, but this is going to be more about parenting than about the frontal issue. Keep reading, you'll understand.
I was watching the Tyra Show this afternoon. I never watch daytime tv because it's usually all crap, but a teaser for today's show hooked me and I decided to tune in. Part of today's show included a 14 year old girl who has a MySpace page on which she displays risque pictures of herself, has sex with a different boy every Saturday night, may possibly be pregnant and was going to reveal all of this to her mother. They brought her unsuspecting mother out onto the stage and as the girl revealed each secret the mom's perfect plaster face remained unchanged. After a moment the mother asks the inevitable question: "why?" the girl says she doesn't like herself she has low self esteem, she does it to feel wanted loved and beautiful (she sure sounded like a couselor coached her in this answer!) and that she wishes she could have a closer relationship with her mother. The mom says "well I'm not the one who's changed." To which a counselor in the audience replies that instead of taking that approach the mother should reach out to her daughter. Tyra asks what they are going to do when they get home now that all that's out in the open, and the mother responds that there will be punishment along the lines of some grounding and loss of priviledges. Tyra gives the mother this advice: "I actually think that it's very important that she told you the truth. I think your trust in her needs to go up not down because she revealed this to you."
Ok, I want to take a breif look at what's wrong with this whole segment. First of all is the obvious issue. We have a 14 year old girl who is sleeping around, having unprotected sex and may possibly be bringing a baby into the world. A baby having a baby. But what really astounded me about this whole segment was the mother. First of all, she's clueless. She has made some really bad parenting choices. She has allowed her daughter to run amuck on the internet unsupervised. This mother didn't even know that her daughter had a MySpace page. What teenagager doesn't have a MySpace or Facebook page? Instead of becoming involved in her daughter's life, this mother chose the path of detachment and distance. She claimed at one point that she and her daughter had talked about sex and choices. The daughter responded "a long time ago you told me what sex was..." The mother had obviously figured she had done her job and left it at that. The mother demonstrated further cluelessness when she asked, "Why didn't I know about this? How could I have missed this?" The daughter responded "it was easy. I just told you I was going to someone's house overnight." Meaning that clearly the mother never checked to make sure her daughter was where she said she would be. She never called the supposed friend's parents. She never kept her daughter accountable for being where she said she would be. Parents: Don't be this clueless!! Set boundaries for your child's internet activities. Check the history! Make them give you their passwords for email and MySpace and Facebook! The parenting "experts" would have you believe that this is a violation of your child's privacy. It is GOOD PARENTING!!! Make sure your child is where they say they will be. Call the friend's parents to make sure they are aware of weekend plans. Get to know their friends and when possible the parents. Your child will hate you, but you will be involved. When your child has demostrated responsibilty you can reward them by letting out the leash. My point here is don't wait for your daughter to reveal her promiscuity on the Tyra Show. Take preemptive action to make sure your children learn responsible behavior!
What really got me though was Tyra's advice at the end of the segment. The mother indicates that she's going to be a parent (finally) and punish the daughter for her actions and Tyra thinks that instead of that the mother should trust her daughter more. Sure, lady. Let the leash out more. Oh wait, it's already nonexistent. So in other words, now that the daughter has told her mother what's going on, the mother should nod, accept it and allow the daughter to continue life as usual? Sure. That's great advice Tyra. Word to the wise Tyra, you shouldn't EVER give parenting advice when you are childless yourself. You come off as stupid and having no idea what you're talking about!
I was watching the Tyra Show this afternoon. I never watch daytime tv because it's usually all crap, but a teaser for today's show hooked me and I decided to tune in. Part of today's show included a 14 year old girl who has a MySpace page on which she displays risque pictures of herself, has sex with a different boy every Saturday night, may possibly be pregnant and was going to reveal all of this to her mother. They brought her unsuspecting mother out onto the stage and as the girl revealed each secret the mom's perfect plaster face remained unchanged. After a moment the mother asks the inevitable question: "why?" the girl says she doesn't like herself she has low self esteem, she does it to feel wanted loved and beautiful (she sure sounded like a couselor coached her in this answer!) and that she wishes she could have a closer relationship with her mother. The mom says "well I'm not the one who's changed." To which a counselor in the audience replies that instead of taking that approach the mother should reach out to her daughter. Tyra asks what they are going to do when they get home now that all that's out in the open, and the mother responds that there will be punishment along the lines of some grounding and loss of priviledges. Tyra gives the mother this advice: "I actually think that it's very important that she told you the truth. I think your trust in her needs to go up not down because she revealed this to you."
Ok, I want to take a breif look at what's wrong with this whole segment. First of all is the obvious issue. We have a 14 year old girl who is sleeping around, having unprotected sex and may possibly be bringing a baby into the world. A baby having a baby. But what really astounded me about this whole segment was the mother. First of all, she's clueless. She has made some really bad parenting choices. She has allowed her daughter to run amuck on the internet unsupervised. This mother didn't even know that her daughter had a MySpace page. What teenagager doesn't have a MySpace or Facebook page? Instead of becoming involved in her daughter's life, this mother chose the path of detachment and distance. She claimed at one point that she and her daughter had talked about sex and choices. The daughter responded "a long time ago you told me what sex was..." The mother had obviously figured she had done her job and left it at that. The mother demonstrated further cluelessness when she asked, "Why didn't I know about this? How could I have missed this?" The daughter responded "it was easy. I just told you I was going to someone's house overnight." Meaning that clearly the mother never checked to make sure her daughter was where she said she would be. She never called the supposed friend's parents. She never kept her daughter accountable for being where she said she would be. Parents: Don't be this clueless!! Set boundaries for your child's internet activities. Check the history! Make them give you their passwords for email and MySpace and Facebook! The parenting "experts" would have you believe that this is a violation of your child's privacy. It is GOOD PARENTING!!! Make sure your child is where they say they will be. Call the friend's parents to make sure they are aware of weekend plans. Get to know their friends and when possible the parents. Your child will hate you, but you will be involved. When your child has demostrated responsibilty you can reward them by letting out the leash. My point here is don't wait for your daughter to reveal her promiscuity on the Tyra Show. Take preemptive action to make sure your children learn responsible behavior!
What really got me though was Tyra's advice at the end of the segment. The mother indicates that she's going to be a parent (finally) and punish the daughter for her actions and Tyra thinks that instead of that the mother should trust her daughter more. Sure, lady. Let the leash out more. Oh wait, it's already nonexistent. So in other words, now that the daughter has told her mother what's going on, the mother should nod, accept it and allow the daughter to continue life as usual? Sure. That's great advice Tyra. Word to the wise Tyra, you shouldn't EVER give parenting advice when you are childless yourself. You come off as stupid and having no idea what you're talking about!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Update on Campbell
Thank you all for praying! The surgery went well. The surgeon was ecstatic that the tumor was really easy to remove. She still has a shunt in her brain to relieve excess pressure caused by the tumor, and she will be sedated into tomorrow. So we are very excited by this news. Please continue to pray for Robin and Greg (her parents) and her sisters Caitlin and Caroline!
Friday, August 21, 2009
HI everyone! Please be in prayer for our little cousin Campbell. She had not been feeling well for about two weeks and had been running a constant fever of 103 or higher. She had been to the doctor several times for several different tests which all came back negative for meningitis and swine flu etc. She was sent home but yesterday she started losing her speech and motor skills. She started vomiting as well. They took her to the ER and she was admitted for more tests. This morning they discovered a golf ball sized malignant tumor in her brain. It is pushing against the part of the brain that controls speech and motor skills, which is why she started losing them. The doctors are optimistic that they will be able to remove the tumor in its entirety with surgery, which will happen tomorrow. My guess is that she will also have to complete chemotherapy after she recovers from surgery. Please pray for her as she endures this. She is only 3 years old, and it is a lot for a young child to bear. Also, pray for her two older sisters, Caitlin and Caroline. They do not yet know about Campbell's condition, so when they find out they will also have a lot to deal with. Please pray for Campbell's parents Greg and Robin. Thanks so much everyone!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tornadoes and the ELCA
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1965_the_tornado_the_lutherans_and_homosexuality/
This morning Pastor John (Piper) published this article on the Desiring God blog and it has generated a firestorm!!!! Pastor John is no stranger to controversy and he finds himself in the thick of it again! Let me share my take of this article and the ideas it presents and I really want to hear what others think (does anyone even read this anymore??) So read the article then read what I wrote below and leave a comment with your thoughts!!!!
First of all, the majority of criticism centers around the idea that the tornado was a warning. The opinion of many people is that it is kind of ridiculous that the tornado would mean anything at all much less be a warning to the ELCA about the content of their convention. My response to this is why not? Why couldn't the tornado be a warning? After all God has used weather to teach lessons in the past, and He controls the weather, so why is it so far out of reach for us to think that He might use a tornado?
Secondly, the rest of the criticism centers around the ELCA and the issue of homosexuality. The problem here is that homosexuality has become so socially acceptable even among the church that people balk at the idea that God might want to warn against accepting it. I don't really want to go into the debate on homosexuality because that's not what this post is about. However, I will say that I am so sad that the mainstream churches of America are choosing to toss aside God's word and go with their own ideas. One day they will know the error of their ways.
So anyway, all in all, I thought this was an amazing post. I am so glad Pastor John wrote it. Even if the tornado wasn't God speaking to us (although I believe in this instance it was) it is something to think about!!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Honest Question...
So, I've been thinking a lot lately about an issue that seems to be a huge thing in our culture right now. These thoughts have been running through my head partially because of the moms message board I'm on and partially because of conversations I've had with people. The issue is labor and delivery. It seems that we are obsessed with how, when and where we give birth to our babies, and the debate gets heated!! It starts as a conversation: "Oh when was your baby born?" and turns somehow into a heated argument: "You had medication????" (the horror!) or "you're crazy to give birth at home. The best place is in a hospital!" Since nobody likes to feel like their choices are being insulted, comments like this turn quickly into: "You're so ignorant, you've never even tried a homebirth." or "don't judge me for getting an epidural it's my decision!" and it all spirals into a big mess with hurt feelings. And the crazy part is, it's a useless argument!!!! I mean come on! We've gotten to the point in this argument where moms who had to have c-sections are made to feel as though they are less of a mother than others. They hear things like "oh they took your baby out" and "too posh to push." Let's face it people, mothers who have had c-sections are not any less of a mother just because they didn't push the baby out! They still have a baby at the end. They still have to take care of another human being 24/7 regardless of how the baby got from the uterus to the outside world. Most of the time there is a good reason for their c-section. A lot of the time these women are crushed that they were unable to have a natural birth. They don't need friends family and strangers making it worse by saying or implying ridiculous things like those statements. Women who have epidurals are no less mothers than women who don't. Just because we opted for a pain free delivery does not make us lazy, selfish, or stupid. We made the decision to have a pain free delivery because that's what was best for us at the time. For me, it was not the pain I couldn't bear, it was the exhaustion. I gavae birth to a perfectly healthy baby who scored a 10 on his apgar test! He was not lethargic or anything. I did not have any problems whatsoever with recovery. I never even took an ibuprofen for the pain after delivery because I didn't have any! :) I call the epidural my "happy juice" because I had an AWESOME delivery after my epi. So, we don't need strangers, friends and family telling us that we are lazy and selfish because we chose pain medication. Women who go natural are such strong women!!! They are stronger women than I! I think it's so cool that there are women out there who are determined to experience childbirth the way women for thousands of years experienced it and they stick to it and follow through! Go natural childbirths and homebirths! They don't need family friends and strangers telling them they are crazy! They're not crazy they're strong!!!!!! But even after all of this the bottom line is that we are all mothers no matter how our children got into this world. Isn't a healthy happy baby and healthy happy mommy what really matters here? Let's band together as mommies to support each other rather than tear each other down because of our labor and delivery choices. That's over now and in the past. No matter how your baby was born, you are a kick butt woman cuz you're a mommy!!!!!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Welcome Abigail!!!!
I want to welcome Abigail Faith to the world!! She was born July 30th at 9pm. She came in at 9lbs 3 oz. and her proud family is Nathaniel, Lisa, and big brother Abraham!! Welcome Abigail!!!!!!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I'm Back!
So I'm back after a one month hiatus from blogging. I don't know what happened to the month of July but it went by so fast with everything going on that I didn't even have time to blog!!!! We went to Illinois the first week of the month and spent some time there with Nathan's parents. It was good to be away from the hubub of city life, but it was busy week in and of itself! We drove down on a Wednesday and went to visit old friends on Thursday, to Nathan's aunt and uncle's on Friday, into Chicago on Saturday and finally on Sunday we got a chance to rest!! This was all while I was trying to recover from my wrist surgery! It was very painful at first, but by the end of the second week I was feeling much better. I wasn't able to care for Derek at all the fist week, and the beginning part of the second week. I felt so bad, but I tried to play with him a ton and let him know that I was still around! Nathan was so great helping me and my mom and sister helped a lot too!! So anyway, the rest of the month is pretty much a blur and now it is August. Derek will be 6 months old on Tuesday. I cannot believe how fast this time is going!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Guest Post
This is a guest posting by my husband. Check out the rest of his blog by clicking on the link!!!
It is a sad day when a 33 year old dies one of the most horrific deaths known to man, leaving behind sisters, brothers, parents and tons of friends who loved and cared for Him. A man of Great influence, a man that is totally responsible for shaping lives along with mountains, stars, and knitting together our very being, a man who is the only answer to breaking down racial barriers, a man that gave his life in the ultimate charity freedom from sin and a man that conquered death to prove his Lordship over all things including death.
It is another sad day when both are counted as kings and only one can actually stand as King, the king of pop is not dancing now, the king of pop is not singing now, the king of pop is realizing one thing and one thing only. He is no king; there is no other king but the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The saddest thing of all is the fact that as the king of pop realizes he is nothing, as he confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord. Is that the millions who still idolize his life, have no clue what they are doing, and saying. There is only one king and Michael Jackson is not him. There is but one God and Jesus the Messiah is his name. There is but one man who can break down barriers, change the lives of billions, form the mountains, knit the cells in our body, create music from nothing, and dance on the stars, that Man is the word from before time, the King of ALL ages, the King of all ethnic bodies, the king of all countries, continents, Worlds, galaxies and universes, the King of music, the Lord of the dance, the King of the sun, moon and stars, the King from before the foundation of the world, the King of every government, every religion, every business. The King who will be declared LORD by every slave, peasant, lay person, politician, Businessman, CEO, king, president, false claiming deities, and all those who worship those false deities. JESUS. He is my KING OF KINGS and LORD of LORDS.
Oh King that is above all kings, oh Lord that is above all lords. Be magnified and lifted high as you claim the glory, as you are worshipped, as you are raised higher then any earthly king, as you are worshipped with song and dance more so then any other earthly or heavenly false king. Lord renew in all of us a right sense of who you are, a right attitude of worship and give us the strength to stand out above the crowed and sing your praise and sing glory to your name and lift your name above all names.
King of kings vs. king of pop
It is a sad day when a 50 year old man dies leaving behind three kids, an estranged wife, sisters, brothers, both parents and tons of loving caring friends. A man of great influence, a man that helped shape peoples beliefs and opinions, a man that worked towards breaking down racial barriers and a man that gave millions towards charity.It is a sad day when a 33 year old dies one of the most horrific deaths known to man, leaving behind sisters, brothers, parents and tons of friends who loved and cared for Him. A man of Great influence, a man that is totally responsible for shaping lives along with mountains, stars, and knitting together our very being, a man who is the only answer to breaking down racial barriers, a man that gave his life in the ultimate charity freedom from sin and a man that conquered death to prove his Lordship over all things including death.
It is another sad day when both are counted as kings and only one can actually stand as King, the king of pop is not dancing now, the king of pop is not singing now, the king of pop is realizing one thing and one thing only. He is no king; there is no other king but the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The saddest thing of all is the fact that as the king of pop realizes he is nothing, as he confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord. Is that the millions who still idolize his life, have no clue what they are doing, and saying. There is only one king and Michael Jackson is not him. There is but one God and Jesus the Messiah is his name. There is but one man who can break down barriers, change the lives of billions, form the mountains, knit the cells in our body, create music from nothing, and dance on the stars, that Man is the word from before time, the King of ALL ages, the King of all ethnic bodies, the king of all countries, continents, Worlds, galaxies and universes, the King of music, the Lord of the dance, the King of the sun, moon and stars, the King from before the foundation of the world, the King of every government, every religion, every business. The King who will be declared LORD by every slave, peasant, lay person, politician, Businessman, CEO, king, president, false claiming deities, and all those who worship those false deities. JESUS. He is my KING OF KINGS and LORD of LORDS.
Oh King that is above all kings, oh Lord that is above all lords. Be magnified and lifted high as you claim the glory, as you are worshipped, as you are raised higher then any earthly king, as you are worshipped with song and dance more so then any other earthly or heavenly false king. Lord renew in all of us a right sense of who you are, a right attitude of worship and give us the strength to stand out above the crowed and sing your praise and sing glory to your name and lift your name above all names.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Just Wondering...
The extent of human pride never ceases to amaze me. I am always astounded when parents do things that could be harmful or fatal to their children and when someone tries to tell them that they say "don't judge me! I'm a good mom! Just because I don't do things the way you do them doesn't mean I'm wrong and you're right!" Um, yikes!!!!!! Okay, Here are some things that I have heard on my moms message board (I've thrown a few real life things from friends too...)
"I have a two week old and I feed her solids to make her sleep through the night. It's totally fine!"
"Sometimes I just didn't want to mess with the car seat so I just rode with my son in the Baby Bjorn."
"I put my newborn to sleep on her tummy. It doesn't cause SIDS. Those scientist people don't really know anything about what prevents SIDS. Back-to-Sleep is a marketing campaign."
"I just let my son cry it out in his crib. Sometimes he cries for an hour. Once he cried so hard he threw up, but he has to learn how to 'self-soothe'."
"I turned my 5 month old forward facing in her car seat. She didn't like being rear facing."
"If I tighten the car seat straps as tight as they should be they will be too tight for my son so I just leave them loose. It's no big deal."
There are so many more I can't even remember them all! Oh my gosh!!!! How are people living with themselves? I get it, some things are a personal decision like the decision to use controlled crying or not, or the decision to co-sleep or not. But there are things you can do that can put your child into harms way. Believe it or not, all the mothers who said these things got angry when people on the message board tried to correct them!!!! They spouted off crap like "It's my decision as a mother!" and "Don't judge me! I'm a good mom!" Sorry ladies. Mothers who turn their 5 month olds forward facing, let their baby scream until he throws up, ride around in the car with their baby in the Bjorn, disregard medical advice not to feed solids until at least 4 months for the sake of a good night's sleep, and don't properly restrain their babies in their car seats are NOT good mothers. Believe me, I hate it too when Derek cries when I tighten the car seat straps, but I know that's because he doesn't like to be restrained not because they are too tight. I too can't stand it when Derek is calling for me in the car and he can't see me because he is rear facing. Sometimes I want to scream when Derek wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to eat (although he's to the age where he doesn't do that too much anymore.). I get frustrated when he wakes up as soon as I put him in the crib and I have to stand and pat him until he nods off. I HATE toting his infant carrier around because he is soooooo heavy in it now. I am at the same place all these other mothers are/were but the difference is that I recognize that we do those things for the safety and good of our children. Most people recognize that we should do those things for our children's safety and health. I wish that mothers wouldn't get so defensive. I understand that being a mom is a competitive scene. I recognize that there are people out there who are ridiculously judgmental about things that are your personal decision. I had an incident a few months ago where a woman scolded me in the mall for bottle feeding instead of breast feeding. It's people like that who make moms overly sensitive to critiscm. But sometimes we need to lay aside our pride and realize that there is such a thing as contructive critiscm and be willing to consider the good of our children above our own convenience.
"I have a two week old and I feed her solids to make her sleep through the night. It's totally fine!"
"Sometimes I just didn't want to mess with the car seat so I just rode with my son in the Baby Bjorn."
"I put my newborn to sleep on her tummy. It doesn't cause SIDS. Those scientist people don't really know anything about what prevents SIDS. Back-to-Sleep is a marketing campaign."
"I just let my son cry it out in his crib. Sometimes he cries for an hour. Once he cried so hard he threw up, but he has to learn how to 'self-soothe'."
"I turned my 5 month old forward facing in her car seat. She didn't like being rear facing."
"If I tighten the car seat straps as tight as they should be they will be too tight for my son so I just leave them loose. It's no big deal."
There are so many more I can't even remember them all! Oh my gosh!!!! How are people living with themselves? I get it, some things are a personal decision like the decision to use controlled crying or not, or the decision to co-sleep or not. But there are things you can do that can put your child into harms way. Believe it or not, all the mothers who said these things got angry when people on the message board tried to correct them!!!! They spouted off crap like "It's my decision as a mother!" and "Don't judge me! I'm a good mom!" Sorry ladies. Mothers who turn their 5 month olds forward facing, let their baby scream until he throws up, ride around in the car with their baby in the Bjorn, disregard medical advice not to feed solids until at least 4 months for the sake of a good night's sleep, and don't properly restrain their babies in their car seats are NOT good mothers. Believe me, I hate it too when Derek cries when I tighten the car seat straps, but I know that's because he doesn't like to be restrained not because they are too tight. I too can't stand it when Derek is calling for me in the car and he can't see me because he is rear facing. Sometimes I want to scream when Derek wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to eat (although he's to the age where he doesn't do that too much anymore.). I get frustrated when he wakes up as soon as I put him in the crib and I have to stand and pat him until he nods off. I HATE toting his infant carrier around because he is soooooo heavy in it now. I am at the same place all these other mothers are/were but the difference is that I recognize that we do those things for the safety and good of our children. Most people recognize that we should do those things for our children's safety and health. I wish that mothers wouldn't get so defensive. I understand that being a mom is a competitive scene. I recognize that there are people out there who are ridiculously judgmental about things that are your personal decision. I had an incident a few months ago where a woman scolded me in the mall for bottle feeding instead of breast feeding. It's people like that who make moms overly sensitive to critiscm. But sometimes we need to lay aside our pride and realize that there is such a thing as contructive critiscm and be willing to consider the good of our children above our own convenience.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Car Seat Safety
One of my passions is the safety of children, especially infants and older babies. I've run across so many people (friends included) who do not know how to properly restrain their babies and toddlers in the car. I am at a loss as to how to gently tell some of my friends that they need to tighten the straps on the car seat among other things. So, in hopes that people will read this I have included the following link to this blog. It has an article about car seat safety as well as a couple videos of crash tests with car seats! Hope everyone takes this into account!!
http://prayerofhannah.blogspot.com/2009/06/rewind-to-car-seat-safety.html
Also, here are a couple more awesome car seat safety links!
www.cpssafety.com
www.nhtsa.gov
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm (To find a safety seat installation inspector near you!)
http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm
http://prayerofhannah.blogspot.com/2009/06/rewind-to-car-seat-safety.html
Also, here are a couple more awesome car seat safety links!
www.cpssafety.com
www.nhtsa.gov
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm (To find a safety seat installation inspector near you!)
http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm
Friday, June 19, 2009
A New Experience
Well, I'm about to have a new experience!! Thanks to my wrist deciding to grow a ganglion cyst I will be having surgery in a week and a half. I've never had surgery before. The first time I was ever in the hospital was when I had Derek. So, needless to say I'm a little nervous. The cyst is no big deal, in fact the doctor said if I wanted to I could leave it be, but it's starting to gross me out big time so I decided to go ahead and have it removed since we havae met our insurance deductible this year with Derek's birth. So, in case anyone was freaking out about me having surgery, I'm ok and it's no big deal. They won't even have to put me under, they'll just use a block for my arm so I'll be awake the whole time! I can even watch if I want (which I don't!! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!). The whole procedure will take 20 minutes. I just can't wait to have it gone, because like I said, it's really gross!!!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
10 Things...
Normally I wouldn't clutter up my blog with things like this but I really liked this one so here it is!
10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people
1 –I'm still so very in love with you especially after 4 years!!!
2 – I love you so very much!!!
3 – I'm still mad at you.
4 – you are selfish and self centered (two different things in my opinion) and you need to get over yourself.
5 – Love your wife as Christ loves the church!!!!
6 – I wish you would just apologize to me and get it over with.
7 – I want to be better friends but I'm really bad at getting to know people! I need your help.
8 - Sometimes when you say things exactly as you're thinking them it comes off as rude.
9 – I miss you so much and wish we could live near each other again.
10 - I'm sorry.
9 Things About Yourself:
1 - I am disorganized and it sometimes drives me crazy that I'm like that.
2 - I have a mean streak that I'm not proud of.
3 – My family is from the east coast and although I was raised in the midwest I find alot of the midwestern culture strange.
4 – I love my husband and my son more than life itself.
5 – I love to travel and I miss being able to soooooooo much.
6 – I love to shop.
7 – I am best friends with my mom.
8 – If you ask me at any time if I'd rather be at the beach I would say yes, except if I'm already at the beach.
9 – I love airplanes and wish that I could fly them for a job! What could be better than getting paid to travel??
8 Ways to Win my heart
1 – My love language is gift giving and receiving, so let me give you stuff and make a big deal out of it, and be sure to send me stuff too!! :)
2 – Tell me you love me often!
3 – Be romantic!!!
4 – Allow me to have my feelings and don't make me feel bad for feeling them
5 – Show interest in the things I like to do and I will equally compromise on the things you like to do
6 - Love my family for who they are and the fact that they raised me to be the woman you love.
7 - Don't be afraid to stand up for me and be ready and willing to protect me.
8 – Let me cry when I need to without saying a whole bunch of stuff to try to get me to stop. (That just ticks me off!)
7 Things That Cross my Mind A lot:
1 – Derek
2 - Nathan
3 – the beach
4 – housework
5 – the beach
6 – Derek
7 – family
6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:
1 – Write a book
2 – Go to Hawaii again
3 –Go to Normandy (France)
4 – See my son get married
5 – fly an airplane
6 – learn to be content in all situations
5 People Who Mean A Lot to You:
1 – Nathan
2 – Derek
3 – Mom Dad and Bekah
4 – Nana and PopPop and Aunt Tina
5 –Brittany, Casey, Caleb, and Isaac
(What the heck! There are a lot more than 5!!)
4 Things You Can See Right Now:
1 –TV
2 – Derek's jumper
3 –our unity candle
4 – clock
3 Bands You Listen to Often:
1 – Le Crae
2 – Nickleback
3 – Whatever is on the radio
2 Things You do Before Bed:
1 – Kiss my son
2 – Pray with Nathan
1 Confession:
1 – I am still in my pjs. I need to go get ready for the day!!
10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people
1 –I'm still so very in love with you especially after 4 years!!!
2 – I love you so very much!!!
3 – I'm still mad at you.
4 – you are selfish and self centered (two different things in my opinion) and you need to get over yourself.
5 – Love your wife as Christ loves the church!!!!
6 – I wish you would just apologize to me and get it over with.
7 – I want to be better friends but I'm really bad at getting to know people! I need your help.
8 - Sometimes when you say things exactly as you're thinking them it comes off as rude.
9 – I miss you so much and wish we could live near each other again.
10 - I'm sorry.
9 Things About Yourself:
1 - I am disorganized and it sometimes drives me crazy that I'm like that.
2 - I have a mean streak that I'm not proud of.
3 – My family is from the east coast and although I was raised in the midwest I find alot of the midwestern culture strange.
4 – I love my husband and my son more than life itself.
5 – I love to travel and I miss being able to soooooooo much.
6 – I love to shop.
7 – I am best friends with my mom.
8 – If you ask me at any time if I'd rather be at the beach I would say yes, except if I'm already at the beach.
9 – I love airplanes and wish that I could fly them for a job! What could be better than getting paid to travel??
8 Ways to Win my heart
1 – My love language is gift giving and receiving, so let me give you stuff and make a big deal out of it, and be sure to send me stuff too!! :)
2 – Tell me you love me often!
3 – Be romantic!!!
4 – Allow me to have my feelings and don't make me feel bad for feeling them
5 – Show interest in the things I like to do and I will equally compromise on the things you like to do
6 - Love my family for who they are and the fact that they raised me to be the woman you love.
7 - Don't be afraid to stand up for me and be ready and willing to protect me.
8 – Let me cry when I need to without saying a whole bunch of stuff to try to get me to stop. (That just ticks me off!)
7 Things That Cross my Mind A lot:
1 – Derek
2 - Nathan
3 – the beach
4 – housework
5 – the beach
6 – Derek
7 – family
6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:
1 – Write a book
2 – Go to Hawaii again
3 –Go to Normandy (France)
4 – See my son get married
5 – fly an airplane
6 – learn to be content in all situations
5 People Who Mean A Lot to You:
1 – Nathan
2 – Derek
3 – Mom Dad and Bekah
4 – Nana and PopPop and Aunt Tina
5 –Brittany, Casey, Caleb, and Isaac
(What the heck! There are a lot more than 5!!)
4 Things You Can See Right Now:
1 –TV
2 – Derek's jumper
3 –our unity candle
4 – clock
3 Bands You Listen to Often:
1 – Le Crae
2 – Nickleback
3 – Whatever is on the radio
2 Things You do Before Bed:
1 – Kiss my son
2 – Pray with Nathan
1 Confession:
1 – I am still in my pjs. I need to go get ready for the day!!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Celebrating 4 Years!!
Today is our 4 year wedding anniversary! Wow the time has flown by! Lets take a look back at the past 4 years!!
Places we've lived:
Columbia, South Carolina (June 2005-June 2006)
Eagan, Minnesota (June 2006-August 2006)
White Lake, Wisconsin (August 2006-May 2007)
Eden Prairie, Minnesota (May 2007- Present)
Jobs we've had:
Nathan:
Student Ministry Associate, Lexington Baptist Church, Lexington, South Carolina
Server, Don Pablo's, Eagan, Minnesota
Student Life Director, Silver Birch Ranch/Nicolet Bible Institute, White Lake, Wisconsin
Youth Outreach Specialist, Treehouse, Chaska, Minnesota
Sarah:
Assistant Manager, Express, Columbia, South Carolina
Assistant Manager, Express, Woodbury, Minnesota
Student Life Director, Silver Birch Ranch/Nicolet Bible Institute, White Lake, Wisconsin
Sales Coordinator, Courtyard by Marriott, Bloomington, Minnesota
Stay at Home Mom, Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Places we've been:
South Carolina
Minnesota
Illinois
North Carolina
Florida
Wisonsin
Ohio
West Virginia
Iowa
Indiana
Tennessee
Kentucky
Vacations we've taken:
Mayan Riviera, Mexico (Honeymoon 2005)
Cruise to Grand Cayman Island, Cozumel Mexico, and Key West Florida (January 2008)
Perhaps biggest of all we've added our son Derek Bruce to our family!!!!
Whew! It's been a crazy four years, but they've been fun too!! I"m looking forward to many many more years of marriage!!!!!! I love you Nathan!!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Another Baby Welcome!!!
We are welcoming my new niece to the world!!! Makayla Lynn Dowling was born at 4:16 this afternoon at 6 lbs 5 oz and 19.5 inches long!!!! The happy parents are Will and Dalynn!! Congratulations you guys!!!!!!
Food for Thought
So just some bits I've been mulling over...
If someone has the chance to do something awesome and chooses not to do it, is it unsympathetic of me to not want to listen to them complain about it?
Can I tell the obnoxious neighbor kids to turn down the disgusting rap music because I want to have my back door open without exposing my baby son to that crap?
It's June 10th and the sun and warmth have been hiding for a week. Why won't it come back?
It's June 10th and my 4 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Where did the time go????
Is it considered rude to ride your EXTREMELY loud motorcycle at midnight down a residential street?
Why is "Wipeout" so entertaining? It's just people falling off ridiculous contraptions all the time, yet it has me in stitches!!
Can I take my 4 month old to Hawaii?
Are we going to get to do anything for our anniversary? Tune in next time to find out. Same Metcalf time, same Metcalf channel!
Is Derek teething?
And last but not least I finally have a niece!!!!!
If someone has the chance to do something awesome and chooses not to do it, is it unsympathetic of me to not want to listen to them complain about it?
Can I tell the obnoxious neighbor kids to turn down the disgusting rap music because I want to have my back door open without exposing my baby son to that crap?
It's June 10th and the sun and warmth have been hiding for a week. Why won't it come back?
It's June 10th and my 4 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Where did the time go????
Is it considered rude to ride your EXTREMELY loud motorcycle at midnight down a residential street?
Why is "Wipeout" so entertaining? It's just people falling off ridiculous contraptions all the time, yet it has me in stitches!!
Can I take my 4 month old to Hawaii?
Are we going to get to do anything for our anniversary? Tune in next time to find out. Same Metcalf time, same Metcalf channel!
Is Derek teething?
And last but not least I finally have a niece!!!!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Where is the Love? Seriously... where is it??
This past Saturday Nathan and I had the privilege of going to the Don't Waste Your Life concert featuring LeCrae, FLAME, Trip Lee, Tedashii, and Sho Baraka. AWESOME concert. But that's not the point of this blog. My mom graciously agreed to babysit Derek so that we could go to the concert. We met my parents at the downtown venue and exchanged kids! :) My sister came to the concert with us, and my parents took Derek back to our house. Due to unforseen circumstances, my parents were late picking Derek up at the concert venue, and as a result he was really hungry by the time they got there. He was crying in his carseat so my mom pulled into our home church's parking lot to feed him since the church was only a few blocks from the venue. As she was standing outside the car with the back door open making the bottle the Saturday evening service let out. People began to walk out to the parking lot and get into their cars. What happens next is completely astounding. Several church members began to give my mother dirty looks. A few walked up to her and told her that she needed to move her car (for no reason, it's not like she was illegally parked) and that the parking lot was only for church members and others could not park there. All this as she was FEEDING A BABY!!!! I have no words to describe how horrified I was. Fortunately my mother has a grace to her personality that is not existant in mine. Those people were lucky it was not me they were talking to. I have a horrible habit of coming up with something rude to say back and I always regret it later. Anyway, my bad habits are not the point of this blog either. The point of this blog is to call on Christians to LOVE EACHOTHER!! It's commanded by Jesus! I mean, come on! This was our home church!! My mother's own church family treated her like garbage when she was in need. I have seriously considered writing a letter to church leadership about this. How can Christians act this way? What if my mother had not been a believer? Our home church is in an area of downtown that is frequented by homeless people and poor people. What if she had been someone from the area just needing a place to pull over and feed her hungry baby? It is absolutely appalling to me that Christians would act this way, especially toward a woman who is feeding a baby! This is why Christians are viewed as hypocrites and holier than thou. How can you go into church, worship the Lord, claim that you love Him, listen to a sermon, then leave and be downright NASTY to a sister in Christ (or any person for that matter)! All that makes you is a white washed tomb. Someone who says "Lord Lord" but sends the beggar on his way with a "God be with you." I am honestly sickened by this behavior. Ok, I think my rant is over. What do you all think? Should I write to the elder board, or am I making a bigger deal out of this than it really is??
More
Since abortion has been on my mind the last couple of days, I thought I would share this video link. It's John Piper's address to President Obama on the topic of abortion. VERY powerful! Check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O68MByaMVdM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O68MByaMVdM
Monday, June 1, 2009
Dichotomy of Sadness
Yesterday a man was murdered as he served in his church as an usher. A man walked into the foyer of the church just as the service was starting and shot him. The man's wife was singing in the choir at the time. She was pulled out of the service and when the congregation members heard her scream they knew something had happened. It's so sad. Murders are horrible crimes, and I certainly hope this man's murderer is brought to justice. There is NEVER a cause to murder another person. It is very very sad that this man's family is suffering in the wake of his murder.
Now, that being said, Dr. Tiller was one of the few remaining US physicians still performing late term abortions. There is a measure of irony in his death. The murderer becomes the murdered. His whole livelihood was built around the profound sadness of the deaths of innocent unborn children. The children he killed were not only small clusters of cells, tiny embryos, and small babies who looked more alien that human; they were THIRD TRIMESTER babies!!! Fully formed, with tiny hands and feet, and developed brains. They had eyes, and eyelids, and little noses and mouths. They were sucking their thumbs and turning somersaults in their comfy uterine homes. They were kicking their feet and opening and closing their hands. Their hearts were beating, and their eyes were blinking. They had little ears that could hear muffled sounds from outside the womb. I wonder if they heard their mothers planning their deaths with Dr. Tiller. I think of my baby son sleeping peacefully in his crib. It wasn't too long ago that he was so tiny and dependent on my body. It wrenches my heart to think that I could have still chosen to terminate his life up until he was born a week early. How can a woman do that with the baby moving inside of her? How could a doctor ignore all scientific fact and choose to end a life? Isn't "do no harm" the first part of the Hippocratic oath all doctors take?? It is a strange dichotomy of sadness. Sad that Dr. Tiller was murdered, and sad that so many unborn children were murdered.
For information on abortion awareness and things we can do as Christians in our fight for the unborn children's right to life here are a couple websites to visit!!
www.selfevidenttruth.org
www.abort73.com
Now, that being said, Dr. Tiller was one of the few remaining US physicians still performing late term abortions. There is a measure of irony in his death. The murderer becomes the murdered. His whole livelihood was built around the profound sadness of the deaths of innocent unborn children. The children he killed were not only small clusters of cells, tiny embryos, and small babies who looked more alien that human; they were THIRD TRIMESTER babies!!! Fully formed, with tiny hands and feet, and developed brains. They had eyes, and eyelids, and little noses and mouths. They were sucking their thumbs and turning somersaults in their comfy uterine homes. They were kicking their feet and opening and closing their hands. Their hearts were beating, and their eyes were blinking. They had little ears that could hear muffled sounds from outside the womb. I wonder if they heard their mothers planning their deaths with Dr. Tiller. I think of my baby son sleeping peacefully in his crib. It wasn't too long ago that he was so tiny and dependent on my body. It wrenches my heart to think that I could have still chosen to terminate his life up until he was born a week early. How can a woman do that with the baby moving inside of her? How could a doctor ignore all scientific fact and choose to end a life? Isn't "do no harm" the first part of the Hippocratic oath all doctors take?? It is a strange dichotomy of sadness. Sad that Dr. Tiller was murdered, and sad that so many unborn children were murdered.
For information on abortion awareness and things we can do as Christians in our fight for the unborn children's right to life here are a couple websites to visit!!
www.selfevidenttruth.org
www.abort73.com
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I was on a Christian moms message board recently and to make a long thread of conversation short they were talking about sin and Christians and how we deal with it. the thread lead up to this comment...
"Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand . These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse . The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free. God is not freaked out about "sin". Everyone falls short of their potential . He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us . GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words."
Soooooo, I'm going to try to respond to this the way I wish I could respond on the message board. I wouldn't though because I HATE stirring stuff up on a message board. It usually gets me mad in the long run and that isn't constructive!
First of all, she makes it sound like most Christians are out of touch with reality. "Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand ." Really??? I mean I know a lot of Christians and I don't think that they're uninteresting. I have a lot of non Christian friends and they don't find it hard to understand me... I just don't find this to be a true statement. There are certainly elements of the Christian faith that are hard to understand even for mature believers, but that doesn't make those concepts any less true. Just because something is hard to understand doesn't mean we should water it down or avoid it. It means that we need to step up our efforts to understand!!! Like in school. You don't drop out because the concepts are hard, nor do the teachers water things down. Rather, we step it up and LEARN!!! Let's move on.
"These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . " Here is an element of truth. There are plenty of people out there who love to throw Bible verses at others without the Holy Spirit behind it. We call them Pharisees. Jesus called them whitewashed tombs. However, there is a prevelant thought in modern evangelical Christianity that we can't use Scripture AT ALL. Using Scripture to correct another brother or sister (or encourage them, or teach them) makes the user automically "holier than thou", pious, arrogant, and a "Bible Thumper." That's why I am so cautious of the writer's statement. If she is truly referring to those people that quote Scripture to bring on guilt,and condemnation, then sure, I agree with this statement. But... part of me wonders if she is of the pursuation that using Scripture for a purpose other than to encourage is wrong. Okay, next!
"People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse ." I really want to like this statement because I think I see what she is trying to say. The Bible is God's Word for us. He gave it to us to use as a tool for our Christian walk. And, we serve God, not the Bible directly. But, the reason I can't completely love this statement is because the Bible is GOD'S WORD!! So no, we don't worship the Bible, but the Bible tells us how to worship God!!! I don't know. This is a tricky statement, I'm not sure how to react to it. I agree with it in theory, but in the context of the rest of her post I feel like I wouldn't agree with her in practice...
"The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free." TRUE TRUE TRUE!!!!!!
"God is not freaked out about 'sin'." Hmmmmm, I don't like that the word "sin" is in quotation marks. What is that supposed to mean?? Is she saying sin some made up human thing that God doesn't care about? And what does it mean that "God is not freaked out" by it? He certainly hates sin. he cannot tolerate it. He can't have it in His presence. He is so "freaked out" by sin that He had to send His Son to die so that His blood could cover our sin!! I mean, if she means that God's plan is not thwarted by sin then sure, she is right, but that's not what I think she means. I tend to think that she is downplaying the severity of sin, as evidenced by her next statement.
"Everyone falls short of their potential ." Mmmmm, yes... but sin is soooooooo much more than that! Our very nature is utterly and totally depraved. DEPRAVED!!! That is so much worse than just falling short of our potential. If it was just a matter of falling short of our potential would Jesus have had to die for that??? Seriously. Sin is a serious enough matter to warrant the death of God's only Son!!!
"He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us ." Oh no, don't even get me started on all the things wrong with this statement. God is interested in us being truly happy????? No, God is interested in us worshipping Him. Only when we are doing that are we truly happy. My pastor is fond of saying "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." See, the cheif end of man is not to be happy but to glorify God! So no, God is not interested in us being truly happy unless we are truly happy in glorifying Him!! :)
"GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words." I see a new breed of Christians as well. I just don't think we are seeing the same ones. I hope she is referring to Christians who speak the truth in love, the key here being speaking the truth!! Unfortuantely too many Christians speak love and eliminate truth. Speaking the truth in love is hard to do, but is so much better than eliminating the truth in favor of speaking only love. People need the truth whether they are believers or not. The Bible truly is the Good News that sets us free from sin and death! The truth of God is beautiful! Why wouldn't we want to speak it!? Don't be a Christian who discards the beautiful truth of God for a cheap immitation of happiness in this life!!
So anyway, I guess that's how I would respond to her if I could. I'm curious of course what you all think so feel free to post comments!
"Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand . These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse . The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free. God is not freaked out about "sin". Everyone falls short of their potential . He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us . GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words."
Soooooo, I'm going to try to respond to this the way I wish I could respond on the message board. I wouldn't though because I HATE stirring stuff up on a message board. It usually gets me mad in the long run and that isn't constructive!
First of all, she makes it sound like most Christians are out of touch with reality. "Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand ." Really??? I mean I know a lot of Christians and I don't think that they're uninteresting. I have a lot of non Christian friends and they don't find it hard to understand me... I just don't find this to be a true statement. There are certainly elements of the Christian faith that are hard to understand even for mature believers, but that doesn't make those concepts any less true. Just because something is hard to understand doesn't mean we should water it down or avoid it. It means that we need to step up our efforts to understand!!! Like in school. You don't drop out because the concepts are hard, nor do the teachers water things down. Rather, we step it up and LEARN!!! Let's move on.
"These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . " Here is an element of truth. There are plenty of people out there who love to throw Bible verses at others without the Holy Spirit behind it. We call them Pharisees. Jesus called them whitewashed tombs. However, there is a prevelant thought in modern evangelical Christianity that we can't use Scripture AT ALL. Using Scripture to correct another brother or sister (or encourage them, or teach them) makes the user automically "holier than thou", pious, arrogant, and a "Bible Thumper." That's why I am so cautious of the writer's statement. If she is truly referring to those people that quote Scripture to bring on guilt,and condemnation, then sure, I agree with this statement. But... part of me wonders if she is of the pursuation that using Scripture for a purpose other than to encourage is wrong. Okay, next!
"People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse ." I really want to like this statement because I think I see what she is trying to say. The Bible is God's Word for us. He gave it to us to use as a tool for our Christian walk. And, we serve God, not the Bible directly. But, the reason I can't completely love this statement is because the Bible is GOD'S WORD!! So no, we don't worship the Bible, but the Bible tells us how to worship God!!! I don't know. This is a tricky statement, I'm not sure how to react to it. I agree with it in theory, but in the context of the rest of her post I feel like I wouldn't agree with her in practice...
"The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free." TRUE TRUE TRUE!!!!!!
"God is not freaked out about 'sin'." Hmmmmm, I don't like that the word "sin" is in quotation marks. What is that supposed to mean?? Is she saying sin some made up human thing that God doesn't care about? And what does it mean that "God is not freaked out" by it? He certainly hates sin. he cannot tolerate it. He can't have it in His presence. He is so "freaked out" by sin that He had to send His Son to die so that His blood could cover our sin!! I mean, if she means that God's plan is not thwarted by sin then sure, she is right, but that's not what I think she means. I tend to think that she is downplaying the severity of sin, as evidenced by her next statement.
"Everyone falls short of their potential ." Mmmmm, yes... but sin is soooooooo much more than that! Our very nature is utterly and totally depraved. DEPRAVED!!! That is so much worse than just falling short of our potential. If it was just a matter of falling short of our potential would Jesus have had to die for that??? Seriously. Sin is a serious enough matter to warrant the death of God's only Son!!!
"He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us ." Oh no, don't even get me started on all the things wrong with this statement. God is interested in us being truly happy????? No, God is interested in us worshipping Him. Only when we are doing that are we truly happy. My pastor is fond of saying "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." See, the cheif end of man is not to be happy but to glorify God! So no, God is not interested in us being truly happy unless we are truly happy in glorifying Him!! :)
"GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words." I see a new breed of Christians as well. I just don't think we are seeing the same ones. I hope she is referring to Christians who speak the truth in love, the key here being speaking the truth!! Unfortuantely too many Christians speak love and eliminate truth. Speaking the truth in love is hard to do, but is so much better than eliminating the truth in favor of speaking only love. People need the truth whether they are believers or not. The Bible truly is the Good News that sets us free from sin and death! The truth of God is beautiful! Why wouldn't we want to speak it!? Don't be a Christian who discards the beautiful truth of God for a cheap immitation of happiness in this life!!
So anyway, I guess that's how I would respond to her if I could. I'm curious of course what you all think so feel free to post comments!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Beginning of Summer
Today it's hot outside. I'm talking 93 degrees hot!!! The lawn mowers are running in the neighborhood, and you can hear people outside. You can smell the grills, and the fresh cut grass and the breeze is just perfect! It's summer outside today! Now this is Minnesota, so by the end of this week it could be cool again, but today, it's summer!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hitting Home
The apartment complex dropped off our lease renewal form yesterday. We have until May 31st to either renew our lease or turn in our written notice of intent to vacate. We have to be out by July 31st. We simply cannot afford to stay here. I wanted to be candid about the emotions I have concerning this move. I hope I don't come off wrong. But, here goes nothing...
I'm sad. I LOVE our apartment. It has become home to me over the past two years. It is the first place Nathan and I have lived that didn't have an end date on it. We brought our child home to this apartment. I love the location, and the neighborhood. I love the suburb we live in, it is clean and safe and you never here of people getting murdered here even though we live in a very diverse area. It's great! We live across the street from the mall, within walking distance of a beautiful park with an awesome walking path, and within minutes of anything you could ask for! So I am incredibly sad to leave all this behind.
I am angry. Sort of. Moving was not on my agenda this year. I feel like I've just gotten the hang of this balance of being a mother and taking care of the house, and now I'm being uprooted. I knew we would not be staying in this apartment forever, but I always envisioned our next move being to a house where we would be for the next good long chunk of time. Now we are going to be moving to another apartment, and it will not be half as nice as the one we live in now. We have to cut the rent cost by several hundred dollars, and the way to do that is to get a smaller, not as nice apartment somewhere else. We are looking at another suburb. This one is okay, but not really as nice as the one we live in now. The apartment complex we are looking at is not within walking distance of anything. The ones that are, are too expensive. It is next door practically to the transit station... gotta love the smell and sound of buses in the morning. This is a suburb where people have recently been murdered... not too far from where we would be living. (Don't get me wrong it's not a totally dangerous area, it's just not as nice as where we live now. You would be hard pressed to find a suburb where there hasn't been violence! :)) Basically we are looking at a step backwards and I don't like that.
I am worried. I don't want to keep moving from temporary housing to temporary housing. It starts to get pointless after a while, and at some point you have to stop uprooting your family, especially your older children. I don't want to always think of where we are living as a temporary deal, but I don't want to be in this apartment for very long. I want to buy a house as soon as possible, so it's hard not to think that way. I am worried that we might never settle down somewhere. I am worried about Derek's schooling (even though I know it's way early. I never said these worries were rational!) The schools in the area we are moving to are not the greatest. We would be left with the option of private school or homeschool, and since I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be able to afford tuition at a private school, I would be forced to homeschool, which to be honest, I'm not sure I want to do. There's a lot of pressure in Christian circles to homeschool, and I'm not sure I would be good at it. (That's another blog post entirely! Haha!) Again, not that these worries are all rational at this point in time, I'm just being candid about how I'm feeling. I'm worried about going back to work. I'm going to have to go back to work part time at some point, and I don't want to. There aren't very many part time jobs out there that aren't retail and I do not want to go back to retail. I may not have a choice but I can't think of anything worse than going back into retail to be a sales associate at some store after being a manager for so long. I don't know, then there's the issue of childcare. What do I do with Derek while I'm working? My mom works part time, and it's pointless to pay for childcare when I'm only going to be making enough to cover that cost anyway. Then all I'm doing is throwing my paycheck at childcare. Right now my only option is to try to work my schedule around my mother's and hope that at some point I will be able to see my husband.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. I feel so bad because this is not where I want to be. I want to be thankful that we have the means to afford any roof over our heads! I want to be thankful that we don't have to move in with my parents. I want to be thankful that Nathan has a stable job even if it doesn't pay alot. I want to be thankful that my mom is willing to watch Derek for free. But I'm not any of those things right now. I guess I'm just not there yet. Maybe you all could pray for me that God will change my heart to have the right attitude about this. :)
I'm sad. I LOVE our apartment. It has become home to me over the past two years. It is the first place Nathan and I have lived that didn't have an end date on it. We brought our child home to this apartment. I love the location, and the neighborhood. I love the suburb we live in, it is clean and safe and you never here of people getting murdered here even though we live in a very diverse area. It's great! We live across the street from the mall, within walking distance of a beautiful park with an awesome walking path, and within minutes of anything you could ask for! So I am incredibly sad to leave all this behind.
I am angry. Sort of. Moving was not on my agenda this year. I feel like I've just gotten the hang of this balance of being a mother and taking care of the house, and now I'm being uprooted. I knew we would not be staying in this apartment forever, but I always envisioned our next move being to a house where we would be for the next good long chunk of time. Now we are going to be moving to another apartment, and it will not be half as nice as the one we live in now. We have to cut the rent cost by several hundred dollars, and the way to do that is to get a smaller, not as nice apartment somewhere else. We are looking at another suburb. This one is okay, but not really as nice as the one we live in now. The apartment complex we are looking at is not within walking distance of anything. The ones that are, are too expensive. It is next door practically to the transit station... gotta love the smell and sound of buses in the morning. This is a suburb where people have recently been murdered... not too far from where we would be living. (Don't get me wrong it's not a totally dangerous area, it's just not as nice as where we live now. You would be hard pressed to find a suburb where there hasn't been violence! :)) Basically we are looking at a step backwards and I don't like that.
I am worried. I don't want to keep moving from temporary housing to temporary housing. It starts to get pointless after a while, and at some point you have to stop uprooting your family, especially your older children. I don't want to always think of where we are living as a temporary deal, but I don't want to be in this apartment for very long. I want to buy a house as soon as possible, so it's hard not to think that way. I am worried that we might never settle down somewhere. I am worried about Derek's schooling (even though I know it's way early. I never said these worries were rational!) The schools in the area we are moving to are not the greatest. We would be left with the option of private school or homeschool, and since I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be able to afford tuition at a private school, I would be forced to homeschool, which to be honest, I'm not sure I want to do. There's a lot of pressure in Christian circles to homeschool, and I'm not sure I would be good at it. (That's another blog post entirely! Haha!) Again, not that these worries are all rational at this point in time, I'm just being candid about how I'm feeling. I'm worried about going back to work. I'm going to have to go back to work part time at some point, and I don't want to. There aren't very many part time jobs out there that aren't retail and I do not want to go back to retail. I may not have a choice but I can't think of anything worse than going back into retail to be a sales associate at some store after being a manager for so long. I don't know, then there's the issue of childcare. What do I do with Derek while I'm working? My mom works part time, and it's pointless to pay for childcare when I'm only going to be making enough to cover that cost anyway. Then all I'm doing is throwing my paycheck at childcare. Right now my only option is to try to work my schedule around my mother's and hope that at some point I will be able to see my husband.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. I feel so bad because this is not where I want to be. I want to be thankful that we have the means to afford any roof over our heads! I want to be thankful that we don't have to move in with my parents. I want to be thankful that Nathan has a stable job even if it doesn't pay alot. I want to be thankful that my mom is willing to watch Derek for free. But I'm not any of those things right now. I guess I'm just not there yet. Maybe you all could pray for me that God will change my heart to have the right attitude about this. :)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Please continue to Pray for this family
I posted about a week ago a link to Kayleigh's Story and asked for prayer for that family as they battled for their baby girl's life. She went to be with Jesus on May 11th. Please keep this family in prayer. My life would be shattered if I ever lost Derek, and my heart is going out to them. Please continue to remember them in prayer.
http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Welcome Isaiah!!
Congratulations to Eric and Jessi on the birth of their son Isaiah Levi on May 1st at 9am!!! He is totally precious!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Curiosity
I am wondering, to all that read this, what do you think of those backpack leash/harnesses for young kids? My younger sister was horrified when I registered for one, and I have read a lot of negative feedback on mom message boards about them, but in my opinion a toddler who is ready to explore will not be happy sitting restrained in a stroller. Nor do I think they should be restrained in a stroller all the time. I have a good friend whose 2 year old refuses to hold her hand in public places. She screams, pulls, twists, and sometimes even bites to get away. Now I acknowlege (as does my friend) that this is a behavioral issue, but this little girl is completely well behaved if she's allowed to walk on her own and be free. Toddlers are learning that there is a big wide world out there, and they want to see it, and they are not able to comprehend the idea that there are people out there who might take them or hurt them so they should stick close to mom or dad. Toddlers live in the moment without thinking of the future or the past. If you have a toddler you understand this in that you have to constantly repeat every instruction. Even if it's something they do everyday. While sitting at a restaurant with my husband's family, my sister in law had to remind my 2 1/2 year old nephew several times that if he needed help, rather than screaming, he needed to use his words and ask for help. They had the same conversation 20 times!! She would say "Caleb do you need help?" He would answer, "yeah." She would reply, "Then you need to say 'help me Mommy'." He would say "help me Mommy." Then she would help him with what he needed. Because of their short attention spans and instant gratification way of thinking, it can be a difficult process to train a toddler to stay close enough to you in a public place to let them walk by themselves. It would seem to me that a harness/leash would be a good alternative. It would give them a certain measure of freedom without jeapordizing their safety. That's just how it seems to me. People use the argument "they're kids, not dogs!" but I don't think you use a leash because you have the intent of treating your kid like a dog. If you think about it, why do you put a leash on your dog? You put a leash on a dog you do it to keep your dog close to you, and to keep the dog safe (preventing him/her from chasing cars, running away etc.) and to keep those around you safe (preventing the dog from jumping, biting etc.). The same goes for your child. You might use a leash to keep your child close to you, and to keep him/her safe. I don't know, it just seems like a pretty controversial thing, and people really look down on those who choose to use them. So, I am asking for feedback from people who read this blog. To leash or not to leash??? :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Please Pray!!!
Please pray for this family and their precious little baby girl!!!
http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com
http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com
Welcome Baby Yosef!
A good friend of mine posts shout outs to her friends babies on her blog, and I really like that, so I'm going to start doing it here!!
Yosef Micaiah was born on April 25th weighing 7lbs. 2 oz. His happy parents are Andy and Sarah!! Congratulations you guys!!!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Holidays
I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.
Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)
These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.
Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)
These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Communication
Nathan and I used to run into problems a lot because he is an external processor (thinks out loud) and I am an internal processor (most of my thoughts take place in my head... where they belong :)) Before we figured out what was causing the issue, I would get frustrated with him because he would say one thing and thirty seconds later change his mind and say something else. A simple question had a thousand different answers. For example: "Where do you want to go for dinner tonight Nathan?" "Hmmmm, Ruby Tuesday could be good, I'm in the mood for a salad. (Pause) No, I actually think I want Chinese food. (Pause) Oh, Jake's let's go to Jake's! (Pause) I wish there was a good Chicago style pizza place around here. (Pause) I think seafood sounds good. (Pause) I don't know, where do you want to go, Sarah?" See what I mean? It's maddening! By the time he gets to Jake's I'm thinking make up your mind already!!!! Conversely, when he poses the same question to me the answer goes something like this... (Loooooooong pause in which my thoughts are...) I really don't like seafood, so I'm gonna shoot that one down. Ruby Tuesday is fine, but I'm not in the mood for a burger and that's really all that's there. I too really wish there was a good Chicago style pizza place around, but there's not so why talk about it??? Hmmmmm, Jake's......... "What''s taking you so long Sarah?" "I'm thinking!!!!" Actually I'd really like Mexican food. Hmmmm, will Nathan drive down to Eagan for El Loro? Well, it's worth an ask I guess! "How about Mexican?" See how that is maddening for Nathan?
The reason I'm talking about going out to dinner is because it is an example of something that can affect a marriage on its deepest level. Communication. Nathan recently brought to my attention that he feels I don't communicate with him enough. I was baffled by this statement. How could I not be communicating? I tell him everything! I've discovered that Nathan is actually interested in my thought process. When I'm taking 10 minutes to give an answer to the simple question "were do you want to go for dinner" he thinks I'm zoning out and that my "how about Mexican" answer was me flippantly throwing something out. I didn't realize that he was thinking, she's not listening to me at all!! Mexican wasn't even on my list! He doesn't realize that I've gone through his list in my head and come up with an option of my own. Likewise I felt that Nathan was indecisive. There should be one answer to the simple question "where do you want to go for dinner?" "Jake's," or "Chinese food" or "I'd really like to go to Ruby Tuesday." Not all of those in the same answer!!! I was failing to realize that Nathan and I were doing the same thing! We were both thinking, just in our own ways.
Be aware of how your spouse processes information. Don't be frustrated with an internal processor. They are listening to you, they do take you seriously. That is why they are silent for so long. They are carefully considering the situation. Don't be frustrated with an external processor. They are not indecisive, they are not impatient; they are simply weight their options carefully by determining which one sounds good.
The reason I'm talking about going out to dinner is because it is an example of something that can affect a marriage on its deepest level. Communication. Nathan recently brought to my attention that he feels I don't communicate with him enough. I was baffled by this statement. How could I not be communicating? I tell him everything! I've discovered that Nathan is actually interested in my thought process. When I'm taking 10 minutes to give an answer to the simple question "were do you want to go for dinner" he thinks I'm zoning out and that my "how about Mexican" answer was me flippantly throwing something out. I didn't realize that he was thinking, she's not listening to me at all!! Mexican wasn't even on my list! He doesn't realize that I've gone through his list in my head and come up with an option of my own. Likewise I felt that Nathan was indecisive. There should be one answer to the simple question "where do you want to go for dinner?" "Jake's," or "Chinese food" or "I'd really like to go to Ruby Tuesday." Not all of those in the same answer!!! I was failing to realize that Nathan and I were doing the same thing! We were both thinking, just in our own ways.
Be aware of how your spouse processes information. Don't be frustrated with an internal processor. They are listening to you, they do take you seriously. That is why they are silent for so long. They are carefully considering the situation. Don't be frustrated with an external processor. They are not indecisive, they are not impatient; they are simply weight their options carefully by determining which one sounds good.
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