September...

Well, September is upon us and with it comes the reality of what I am doing in two weeks. We are packing up our home and moving to Kansas. Nathan accepted a youth pastor position in Kansas and so we are off to a new place to live in two weeks. I cannot lie and say that I am excited. (Sorry everyone from down there reading this!) I have absolutely zero desire to leave Minnesota and leave my parents and sister, and leave my church, and leave my small group and all the friends I have there... I have been living in denial for about a month, but I can't any longer. I have started saying my goodbyes and started doing things for the last time. Last time going to MOA, last time eating at Frankie's, last time going to the Science Museum, last time going to the zoo... so many last times.... I can't even begin to think of what life will be like down there. I imagine that it will be pretty boring at first. Maybe for a long time. I don't know. Really, I do apologize to people from down there who might be reading this. I want you to know that it's nothing against you or your town. I just am having a hard time with leaving. I have never even tried to picture myself living in a small town, and all I can envision is me sitting around my house all day cleaning cooking and taking care of Derek. Also not the life I wanted. I do that here, but I also get the chance to get out besides going to Walmart. I have friends here with kids who go to the zoo with me and mall walk with me in the winter. I just hate losing that. I hate feeling like I'm losing my life. I'm going to miss everything from mall walking with my mom to actually getting date nights with Nathan because I have a babysitter here. I'm not all negative about the move. I mean we have bought a house down there that I really like, but that has done nothing to outweigh the sorrow I feel. I wanna go back to ignoring the impending move. I wanto to go back to having more time. I want to go back to June before all this happened. And now I have nothing more to say. So I'm \just going to end it. Sorry I am so depressing tonight, but this is my blog, and I just had to get my stuff out there. It's driving me crazy just sitting in my head all the time! :)