Well all, Christmas is tomorrow and there is much anticipation and excitement around our house. I am pausing from baking and wrapping presents to write this hoping that it will bring some holiday cheer to you all. This year has been a crazy year for us. Last December just before Christmas I was laid off from my job at the hotel. One year ago we were wondering how we were going to make it through the next few months. Then, the Lord provided for us in the form of unemployment. Unemployment made it possible for me to plan to stay at home full time when our little boy was born in February... which of course brings me to the most joyous happening of all this year. On February 4th we welcomed Derek Bruce into our family. Our first baby! We are so happy that he is part of our family! We could not have asked for a better son. He is so easy going and talkative, and smart. He is 10 months old as I write this and he says "mama" to me and "dada" to Nathan. He says "no" (which I wish he didn't! lol) and "buh buh" for bye bye! He is eating table food (although not for full meals) and loves cracker snacks and Cheerios. He loves his sippy cups with the straws and water. He is smiley and happy obedient and tender hearted. He stands by himself, crawls around the house and plays with the cats. He is just all around a fantastic kid. In July we took a vacation to Illinois to see Nathan's family. We met up with our good friends Nick and Patty and Ben and Jena while on the trip and Derek got to meet his "cousins" Natalie and Kadence. Then on the 4th of July we went out to see Nathan's extended family and Derek got to play with his real cousins Caleb and Isaac. I never had any cousins growing up so I am excited that Derek gets to have them. Caleb is two years older than Derek and Isaac is only 4 months older than Derek, so it's really fun to know that he has a cousin the same age as him! We had a lot of fun in Illinois, but we had another issue to deal with at home. Nathan applied for a job as a youth pastor at a church in Kansas, and after applying for many youth pastor jobs and years of looking for one, we finally got a bite! The church called us to come for a visit, and they offered us the position at the end of our visit. That was a huge decision for us. We decided in August to accept the position, and we moved to Kansas at the end of September. We bought a house and moved into it in November. It is so exciting to own our own place! After renting for the last 4 1/2 years we finally have a place to call our own! It's wonderful!
Well, that has been our year in a nutshell. Amidst all the busyness of the season I want to urge you to take time to reflect upon the reason we celebrate Christmas. I am reminded time and time again as I hold Derek in my arms that Jesus was once a baby just like Derek and was held in Mary's arms just like I hold Derek in mine. Having a baby boy has brought home to me what a wondrous thing the incarnation was. How Jesus humbled himself and gave up His place in Heaven to come to earth as a baby. A helpless little baby. It's amazing. Praise God for His glorious redemption plan!!! Amen and Amen! Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Okay Discussion Time!
I'm tired of writing on here and knowing that people read this but no one ever comments! So here is a post that I want EVERYONE to comment on! Even lurkers (I know you're there!).
Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)
1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.
We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).
2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?
Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.
3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)
I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!
Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!
Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)
1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.
We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).
2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?
Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.
3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)
I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!
Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas Guest Blog
Hi all! I have gained permission from my good friends Jennifer and Aaron to use this post as a guest post on my page. They are in the middle of a journey to embryo adoption. To those unfamiliar with this term it goes something like this:
When a couple chooses to pursue in-vitro fertilization multiple embryos are created and then a few at a time are implanted into the mother's uterus. For many couples once the procedure has worked and they have gotten the number of children they desired, the remaining embryos are forgotten about. They remain frozen in cryogenics indefinitely, or worse yet, the parents give them over to the clinics where they are often killed in the pursuit of embryonic stem cell research. Embryonic adoption offers another alternative to these forgotten children. The embryos are adopted, and then implanted into the adoptive mother's uterus. She carries the child and gives birth just as if she had concieved naturally. This experience is unique because the adoptive mother gets to experience pregnancy and labor and delivery even though the child is not biologically related to her. This option of embryo adoption is also a less expensive and time consuming route than traditional adoption because, unfortunately, it is seen as a transfer of property rather than the adoption of a child. Anyway, this is the journey that Jennifer and Aaron have found themselves on and I am incredibly excited for them, and about embryonic adoption in general. Their story is a touching one and I will include a link to their blog at the end of this post! Thanks so much Jennifer and Aaron for allowing me to re post this!!!!
Here is a link to Jeenifer and Aaron's blog!
http://www.aaronandjennwilson.blogspot.com
When a couple chooses to pursue in-vitro fertilization multiple embryos are created and then a few at a time are implanted into the mother's uterus. For many couples once the procedure has worked and they have gotten the number of children they desired, the remaining embryos are forgotten about. They remain frozen in cryogenics indefinitely, or worse yet, the parents give them over to the clinics where they are often killed in the pursuit of embryonic stem cell research. Embryonic adoption offers another alternative to these forgotten children. The embryos are adopted, and then implanted into the adoptive mother's uterus. She carries the child and gives birth just as if she had concieved naturally. This experience is unique because the adoptive mother gets to experience pregnancy and labor and delivery even though the child is not biologically related to her. This option of embryo adoption is also a less expensive and time consuming route than traditional adoption because, unfortunately, it is seen as a transfer of property rather than the adoption of a child. Anyway, this is the journey that Jennifer and Aaron have found themselves on and I am incredibly excited for them, and about embryonic adoption in general. Their story is a touching one and I will include a link to their blog at the end of this post! Thanks so much Jennifer and Aaron for allowing me to re post this!!!!
Christmas Thoughts about Embryo Adoption
Well now that Thanksgiving is over, we are officially into the Christmas season. Of course, working in retail I've been experiencing the Christmas season since September. I'm glad that everyone else is now catching up.
I don't make many blog posts, but I wanted to share something that occurred to me a few days ago as I was thinking about Christmas. I was making my hour commute to work and reflecting on all the activity that Christmas brings to retail and the real reason that we as Christians celebrate the holiday. My mind went to a picture of a Willow Tree nativity that we keep on top of our entertainment center year-round. As I'm passing it, I often like to look at the baby Jesus in Mary's arms and remember how God left many of the privileges of Godhood and humbled himself by entering into the form of a baby. I realize that I've always thought of the beginning of the incarnation in that way: that in a moment in time, God left his throne for a manger.
What occurred to me that morning is that the real beginning of the incarnation didn't happen on Christmas. God didn't enter into humanity on Christmas morning as a baby, he entered it nine months earlier as a human embryo. Matthew 1:18 says that before Mary and Joseph came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit." Two verses later, God tells Joseph that "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." That's Biblical grounds for the existence of life at conception right there, that God equates "what is conceived" to being a child. Doesn't that make the incarnation all the more amazing? Jesus goes from ruling the world in Heaven with his Father and the Holy Spirit and enters into the smallest, most dependent, most microscopic form of human life. I've always known that Jesus has a heart for all unborn children, including those who are frozen as embryos. How much more do I know that now, realizing that the same Saviour who submitted himself to death on a cross for my sake, first submitted himself to a womb.
Even more special to embryo adoption is the fact that this could have been exactly what Mary and Joseph did. Not to get too technical, but we know that Jesus' conception was not of result of Joseph's or any man's sperm. We don't know if the Holy Spirit brought about Jesus' conception by using one of Mary's eggs or if Jesus was conceived as one cell without an egg at all. The latter however, is certainly a possibility and if it true, it means that Mary carried and adopted with Joseph a child who was not biologically related to them. If this happened, then the first embryo adoption happened over 2,000 years ago.
Again, we don't know the specifics of how the Holy Spirit brought about the incarnation, but even if Mary's egg had been used, Joseph adopted a child that his wife carried who was not biologically related to him. Of course, this was a miracle and a unique circumstance, so we can't use it to justify ethically debated forms of reproductive technology that aren't in the realm of embryo adoption. However, we can know for sure that the wonderful truth of the Christmas story includes a couple's commitment to adopt a baby before birth. I know all the more that it is God's desire that all embryo's get a chance at birth. I know this because Jesus was once one.
I don't make many blog posts, but I wanted to share something that occurred to me a few days ago as I was thinking about Christmas. I was making my hour commute to work and reflecting on all the activity that Christmas brings to retail and the real reason that we as Christians celebrate the holiday. My mind went to a picture of a Willow Tree nativity that we keep on top of our entertainment center year-round. As I'm passing it, I often like to look at the baby Jesus in Mary's arms and remember how God left many of the privileges of Godhood and humbled himself by entering into the form of a baby. I realize that I've always thought of the beginning of the incarnation in that way: that in a moment in time, God left his throne for a manger.
What occurred to me that morning is that the real beginning of the incarnation didn't happen on Christmas. God didn't enter into humanity on Christmas morning as a baby, he entered it nine months earlier as a human embryo. Matthew 1:18 says that before Mary and Joseph came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit." Two verses later, God tells Joseph that "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." That's Biblical grounds for the existence of life at conception right there, that God equates "what is conceived" to being a child. Doesn't that make the incarnation all the more amazing? Jesus goes from ruling the world in Heaven with his Father and the Holy Spirit and enters into the smallest, most dependent, most microscopic form of human life. I've always known that Jesus has a heart for all unborn children, including those who are frozen as embryos. How much more do I know that now, realizing that the same Saviour who submitted himself to death on a cross for my sake, first submitted himself to a womb.
Even more special to embryo adoption is the fact that this could have been exactly what Mary and Joseph did. Not to get too technical, but we know that Jesus' conception was not of result of Joseph's or any man's sperm. We don't know if the Holy Spirit brought about Jesus' conception by using one of Mary's eggs or if Jesus was conceived as one cell without an egg at all. The latter however, is certainly a possibility and if it true, it means that Mary carried and adopted with Joseph a child who was not biologically related to them. If this happened, then the first embryo adoption happened over 2,000 years ago.
Again, we don't know the specifics of how the Holy Spirit brought about the incarnation, but even if Mary's egg had been used, Joseph adopted a child that his wife carried who was not biologically related to him. Of course, this was a miracle and a unique circumstance, so we can't use it to justify ethically debated forms of reproductive technology that aren't in the realm of embryo adoption. However, we can know for sure that the wonderful truth of the Christmas story includes a couple's commitment to adopt a baby before birth. I know all the more that it is God's desire that all embryo's get a chance at birth. I know this because Jesus was once one.
http://www.aaronandjennwilson.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Joy of Giving
With the holidays on us I have been reflecting a lot on giving lately. This morning the thought hit me: How empty life would be without giving!!! Let me explain: on Saturday we went to the little Christian bookstore here in town looking for the Veggie Tales Christmas movie, The Toy that Saved Christmas. I LOVE that movie, and Derek had grown a love for Veggie Tales while visiting my parents last week. Anyway, they didn't have that movie, but they did have the newest one called St. Nicholas. I was apprehensive at first. I wasn't sure how much Santa Claus lore would be in it, and those of you who have read my blog at all know exactly how I feel about Santa Claus! But, I bought it and took it home anyway. I watched it first without Derek, and guess what... I LOVED it!!! Santa was in it, but it was all about the story of St. Nicholas and how the Santa Claus legend got started. It was also about giving. It really is hearwarming. It resonated with me because my love language is giving gifts. That's how I show people I love them. I realized that my life would be pretty sad without giving. Nothing makes me happier than when I'm asked to donate a dollar to childhood cancer research, the Salvation Army, the Red Cross, or the Make A Wish Foundation. (In my opinion there's no excuse for not donating the dollar. I mean come on, they ask you at the check out. You're already spending money. Donate the flipping dollar!) Anyway, as Christmas approaches I want to really focus on giving. There's a song on the Veggie Tales movie: "I can love because God loves me, I can give because He gave. Jesus' love it why I'm smiling, why I'm giving every day." I'm not talking about just giving gifts at Christmas, I'm talking about giving of myself. Giving up things that make me comfortable for the sake of my family. Giving up my nights when needed for the sake of my son. Giving up my "me time" to clean the house for the sake of my husband. When I do these things, I glorify God with my giving. That's what giving is all about. Glorifying God and following His example of humbling Himself to the point of death. So let's all think about how we can give of ourselves this Christmas!!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Statistics are Scary 1
90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week
This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.
The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.
The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.
This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.
The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.
The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Statistics are Scary
So I found these statistics about pastors and ministry and as a pastor's wife they really concern me. Why is it that these statistics are the case. Maybe I will try to write a new blog post every day (time permitting) addressing each one. That would be fun right? :) Here are the stats:
Why Pastors Leave the Ministry
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.
* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.
#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.
Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.
* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.
#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.
Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.
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