Thinking ahead... A lot

Seeing as how I don't have children who are at the age where I can assign them chores, this post may seem a bit irrelevant for me, but it's not. The issue crops up in children's books and in conversations with other parents, and even in movies. I'm talking about chores and allowance. More specifically what is an allowance for and why should or shouldn't children receive it.

There seems to be two primary arguments for not giving children allowance. The first is that they should do their chores simply because they are part of the family. They should not be paid for doing them. The second is the parents saying "my child has what he needs and he does not need any money." They cite several reasons that I've heard for not giving the child an allowance in this second argument. I've heard parents say, "It's my money and my child doesn't need it," "I don't want my child to learn to value money. It's not that important," "My child doesn't need to learn how manage money until he's older," things of that nature.

There are a couple reasons I don't understand either argument. For the first one my question is simply this, why wouldn't you pay your child a small allowance as a reward for doing his required chores? Ok, I get it, chores are a part of life. But so is work. You go to work to earn money. I mean, how well would it fly with you if your boss said to you "you should do your work and do it perfectly simply because you're part of the company. We shouldn't have to pay you to do it." It wouldn't fly with me that's for sure. Neither does it fly with me that I should expect my child to do his chores with little to no motivation other than "you're part of this family." If my dad had said that to me my response would have been something along the lines of "yippee freakin' skippee." For sure children should be taught to help cheerfully and out of the goodness of their hearts on top of their listed chores, but there's nothing wrong at all with paying or rewarding a child for completing their required chores on time (provided they are done well).

The second argument just sounds ridiculous to me. There is no reason your child shouldn't start learning about the value of money at a young age. And if you as a parent just provide whatever they want or need for them without them having to learn to work for it is just a bad idea. That's how you get spoiled children who don't know the value of a dollar. In my opinion anyway.

What do you think about allowances?

Welcomem Baby Jadon!!!

I've decided to go ahead and continue my trend of announcing births on my blog. With that said, I want to welcome Baby Jadon Josiah to the world! He was born at 8lbs. 6 oz. and 22 inches long!!! The proud parents are Chris and Heather! I got to meet him this afternoon and he is soooo cute!!!! Congratulations Chris and Heather!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday to my sweet son!!! Derek, you are the best thing that has happened to this family! You are so sweet and loving. You never hesitate to give a hug or a kiss even though you would rather play. You love to be held my mommy and love to build couch cushion forts with Daddy. You are so smart too! You can already say "car" and "cat" and "Mama" and "Dada." You know what an airplane is and bring your toy airplane to me when I ask you where it is! You can sign "milk, " "all done," "eat," "cracker," "water," "please," "thank you," "car," "ball," "socks," and "train." You love to watch your Baby Signing Time videos and I love that they help you learn! You love to play with Piper and are always quick to give him some pets or a kiss. You even love Calvin, even though he doesn't like you too much! :) You help Mommy with the laundry by putting the clothes into the laundry basket. Such a good helper! You are a good listener. If you understand what Mommy is asking you to do, you obey. You are so strong. I remember how you rolled over when you were 2 weeks old! You crawled when you were 5 months old, and you started walking when you were 10 months old! You have always been ahead of the game when it comes to your motor skills and your verbal skills are coming right along too!! You are smiley and happy and you make other people smile when you wave at them from the cart at Walmart. You are such a special boy and I am so glad that God gave you to me. Here's the lullaby I sing to you every night. I love you sweet son! May you stay sweet and grow strong in the Lord!!

"Today will soon be over,
Tomorrow will arrive.
Right now I'm going to hold you
until you close your eyes.
Words can't always sum up the feelings that I feel.
So peaceful when you're sleeping, I know you'll hear me still,

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

Exactly what I wanted, exactly who you are.
I know we'll work together and we will reach the stars.
Families stick together and family lasts forever.
Forever, that's how long I'll love you.

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

I know you are God's perfect gift to me!!!
I'm so glad that my baby is you!!!!!"
(Two Little Hands music)

Reflections....

So, Derek is about to turn a year old here in two weeks, and it boggles my mind how fast this past year has gone by. There are a few reflections I have and a few things I've learned that I thought I'd write down, mostly because I haven't blogged in a few weeks and I should post something! Haha! Okay, here we go:

Things I've learned over this past year:
1. Trust your Mommy instincts. I had suspected that something was up with Derek's digestive system for weeks before he started screaming non stop. Everyone told me he was fine, but I was not convinced. After receiving an Acid Reflux diagnosis and receiving Zantac he was fine and had outgrown the issue within 2 months.

2. New moms are actually grateful for advice from other relatively new moms. I could not get enough advice from young women I knew/know who had just had a baby right before me. They were still in the same stage as me, yet a couple of steps ahead and I valued their advice so much!! They also gave me hope that things would work themselves out. (Note: I didn't follow all the advice I received, but I was grateful to receive it.)

3. The nurses and "lactation consultants" in the hospital that try to force your baby to breastfeed while he screams and refuses to latch are NOT helpful. I'm convinced I was sabotaged because Derek wasn't allowed to figure it out on his own, and then I was sent home from the hospital with strict instructions to supplement him with formula. It was only 7 weeks before we were totally formula feeding. It has been a good thing for us, don't get me wrong. Derek and I bonded just fine and Nathan has LOVED being able to bond with him too that way.

4. You don't HAVE to wash baby clothes in Dreft.

5. While the rule of thumb for dressing babies (same as you plus one extra layer) is a good rule of thumb, it is only a rule of thumb and not all babies conform. Derek would be BOILING in his car seat last winter under only a long sleeve onesie, sweatshirt, sweatpants and socks. He had a cover on his infant seat to keep him warm and that thing did a GREAT job! I went to dressing him in only sweatpants or jeans and a long sleeve onesie. However, it still bugs me when I watch moms drag their babies around in frigid winter weather with no coat, no hat, and *gasp* no socks! I mean frigid, like below freezing. Then they complain to me that their child has a perpetual cold. Well duh.

6. Just because a baby spits up on you does not mean you have to change your clothes. I believed I did at first and I started running through shirts like water in your morning shower. After a few weeks I said "forget it" and started carrying shout wipes in the diaper bag. They take away the stain AND the smell of spit up. Shirt saved!

7. I wanted to buy only organic or natural products for Derek... until I saw how much they cost. Then I decided that I was just fine eating regular food, and he would be too. We are all going to get cancer one way or another anyway.

8. You can plug all the outlets, gate every stairway, close every door, put away every semi-dangerous item and your older baby will still find something to choke on. Derek choked on a chunk of cat hair he found under the couch. Luckily I finger swept it out. Now that the first choking is over, I feel better. I'm not in dread of it. Like that Scrubs episode where JD doesn't want to perform any medical procedures because he hasn't killed a person yet and he's terrified of doing it. Then Dr. Cox tells him he actually did kill a patient when he released her before she was ready and he feels better... until JD finds out he really didn't kill her after all........... :)

9. There will always be a mommy friend who doesn't want to hear anything you have to say about parenting. *shrug* oh well. Her loss.

10. It's ok to let your baby explore. I let Derek pull all the DVD's off the shelf and look at them, as long as he doesn't break them. I let him play with the kitten, and rearrange the kitchen chairs. I let him play with my hair and with the light switches and doorknobs, and even the blinds as long as I watch his every move. (There are no blinds that he can reach by himself.)

11. Make sure you keep an eye on your baby while he/she explores. I don't let Derek play with electrical cords, the DVD player, the cable box, or the lamps. This is a "duh" kind of statement, but a lot of parents don't pay attention.

12. It's ok to let Derek watch his sign language videos when he's crabby just to shut him up! It never fails!!!!!! And, there's the added bonus that I can get something done while he's watching it!

13. And the number one thing I've learned about parenting a baby is that every poopy diaper that runs over into a poopy outfit, every spit up, every screaming session, every sleepless night, every early morning, every missed nap, every time I get baby food sprayed in my face, every time he teethes, and every single hard moment is made up for 100 times over every time he plants his little baby lips on mine!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh

I hate January. Not to start out negative, but I really hate January. January is that boring little stretch of winter after the excitement of Christmas and before the light at the end of the tunnel in February. In Minnesota the light at the end of the tunnel really didn't come around until the end of March, but I'm really hoping that will be different in Kansas. Anyway, I'm not a winter lover. By the time January rolls around I've had enough. Funny since this fall in Kansas was ridiculously warm. It was in the 70's well into November!! But still, here we are in January and I'm like "ugh" already. Usually around this time of year my motivation flies out the window. Most people use January as a fresh start, but for me the year doesn't being until Spring!! I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't keep them anyway. I make spring resolutions. Those are much more fun!!!

Merry Christmas!

Well all, Christmas is tomorrow and there is much anticipation and excitement around our house. I am pausing from baking and wrapping presents to write this hoping that it will bring some holiday cheer to you all. This year has been a crazy year for us. Last December just before Christmas I was laid off from my job at the hotel. One year ago we were wondering how we were going to make it through the next few months. Then, the Lord provided for us in the form of unemployment. Unemployment made it possible for me to plan to stay at home full time when our little boy was born in February... which of course brings me to the most joyous happening of all this year. On February 4th we welcomed Derek Bruce into our family. Our first baby! We are so happy that he is part of our family! We could not have asked for a better son. He is so easy going and talkative, and smart. He is 10 months old as I write this and he says "mama" to me and "dada" to Nathan. He says "no" (which I wish he didn't! lol) and "buh buh" for bye bye! He is eating table food (although not for full meals) and loves cracker snacks and Cheerios. He loves his sippy cups with the straws and water. He is smiley and happy obedient and tender hearted. He stands by himself, crawls around the house and plays with the cats. He is just all around a fantastic kid. In July we took a vacation to Illinois to see Nathan's family. We met up with our good friends Nick and Patty and Ben and Jena while on the trip and Derek got to meet his "cousins" Natalie and Kadence. Then on the 4th of July we went out to see Nathan's extended family and Derek got to play with his real cousins Caleb and Isaac. I never had any cousins growing up so I am excited that Derek gets to have them. Caleb is two years older than Derek and Isaac is only 4 months older than Derek, so it's really fun to know that he has a cousin the same age as him! We had a lot of fun in Illinois, but we had another issue to deal with at home. Nathan applied for a job as a youth pastor at a church in Kansas, and after applying for many youth pastor jobs and years of looking for one, we finally got a bite! The church called us to come for a visit, and they offered us the position at the end of our visit. That was a huge decision for us. We decided in August to accept the position, and we moved to Kansas at the end of September. We bought a house and moved into it in November. It is so exciting to own our own place! After renting for the last 4 1/2 years we finally have a place to call our own! It's wonderful!
Well, that has been our year in a nutshell. Amidst all the busyness of the season I want to urge you to take time to reflect upon the reason we celebrate Christmas. I am reminded time and time again as I hold Derek in my arms that Jesus was once a baby just like Derek and was held in Mary's arms just like I hold Derek in mine. Having a baby boy has brought home to me what a wondrous thing the incarnation was. How Jesus humbled himself and gave up His place in Heaven to come to earth as a baby. A helpless little baby. It's amazing. Praise God for His glorious redemption plan!!! Amen and Amen! Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!

Okay Discussion Time!

I'm tired of writing on here and knowing that people read this but no one ever comments! So here is a post that I want EVERYONE to comment on! Even lurkers (I know you're there!).

Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)

1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.

We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).

2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?

Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.

3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)

I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!

Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!