Metcalf-isms

The Great Healer

2011-12-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

On Christmas morning Pastor David recited the fighter verse, "He restores my soul, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:3-4) Verse 4 seemed to some to be pretty inappropriate for Christmas, until he said "because death happens at Christmas too." Oh how this touched me. One of my closest friends miscarried just a few days before Christmas. While the rest of us were rejoicing in a birth, she is mourning a birth that will never happen. My heart hurts for her. My soul aches for her. She lives too far away now for me to comfort her in person, but I wish I could. Death is awful no matter which way you cut it, but the death of a child, even an unborn child is devastating. Death was never meant to be. It is because of sin that death entered the world. When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, they ruined God's perfect creation. Romans 5:12 says "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all have sinned..." We all have sin natures, even precious tiny babies, and so we are all susceptible to death. But God, in His perfect will had a plan to save us from death. Romans 5:18 says "Therefore as one trespass led to condemnation for all men ,so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men." That one act of righteousness was Jesus' death on the cross. He died to take the sin of mankind so that all who believe in Him may have eternal life. John 1:12 says "But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God." How amazing is it that all we have to do to receive eternal life is to believe in the name of Jesus? Acts 16:31 says "believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved..." Oh how wonderful to believe in a God who is victorious over death. "He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord will wipe away tears from all faces..." (Isaiah 25:8) "Death is swallowed up in victory. O death where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" (1 Corinthians 15:54-55) So, take heart my dear friend. Death is not forever. We serve a victorious God. One day there will be no more grieving, no more tears. One day you will be with your precious Noah in heaven. Until then rest in the fact that Jesus holds him in his arms. This pain is temporary. And if just one person reads this and is touched by the Gospel, then Noah's short life and tragic death are not in vain. You are loved, my friend, and prayed for.

If you want to follow her healing process you may visit her blog:
www.learningfromthegreatteacher.blogspot.com
(for some reason I cannot link to it, so you'll have to do it the old fashioned way and type it into your url)

2011 Year End...

2011-12-25T15:10:00.000-08:00

As 2011 comes to a close I feel compelled to write a Christmas letter, even though most people who read this probably already know everything anyway. So, here goes!

2011 has been an eventful year in the Metcalf house. Our beloved Derek turned 2 in February. It was really hard to believe he was that old, and now we are staring down the barrel at 3!! He was in his first wedding in March when he was one of the ring bearers in his Aunt Jessica's wedding. He did so well, and was the only one who did not cry going down the aisle! Go Derek!!! He has loved being a big brother since May. He loves his baby brother so much. Every night before brother goes to bed Derek has to give him a hug and a kiss and tell him that he loves him. It's adorable! In August he got another opportunity to be a ring bearer in his Aunt Rebekah's wedding. He walked down the aisle so nicely, and made everybody laugh when he was aghast that the flower girl was throwing the flower petals on the floor. he kept saying "no, no! Don't spill the flowers!" Right after the wedding we tackled potty training, and he accomplished that in less than a week. Christmas this year was a blast! He loved opening his gifts, and even loved helping his little brother open his gifts to. He would open them and then go show him what each thing was. Derek speaks in full sentences now, and there are not many things he cannot say. He's growing up before our eyes. We are so proud of how much he has learned in the past year.

On May 27th we were ecstatic to welcome Owen Michael into our family. He was born at about 4:30pm after a 5 hour labor. This was my first natural birth, and it was amazing! I am so proud to have been able to accomplish it. Owen is not the greatest sleeper, but he makes up for it in sparkling personality. He brings a big baby smile into the room whenever he enters. He has cut two teeth in the past month, and is eating solids very well after being exclusively nursed for the first 5 months. He still prefers to nurse over any other form of food, but he is enjoying trying new tastes of fruit and veggies as well. He crawls everywhere, and is into everything! It is so fun watching him grow and develop!

Nathan continues his job as a youth pastor at our local church. We just passed the two year mark at this church in September and things are really amping up there. This past year Nathan went on two ski trips, a Colorado camping trip, a service project trip to Wisconsin, and a few other trips with the youth group. He stays very busy to say the least. He is also a substitute school bus driver for our school district. It's a great chance for him to meet new kids.

I continue my work with the transitional home for women. I have moved from just being a relief staff member to being the relief staff manager. It is a big change so far as I take over the tasks of scheduling and managing the staff. So far so good though. My primary role is still at home with the kiddos. Derek and Owen are the lights of my days! They are a lot of fun. I am doing a lot of pre-preschool things with Derek to prepare him for starting preschool in the fall. Owen and I are the best of friends. Anywhere I am, he has to be too. I love it!

Our cats, Calvin and Piper are doing well too for those curious. They still don't get along very well, but they have established the pecking order and they have calmed down about it a little.

We wish you all the best in the coming year. We rejoice that the Son of God was incarnated as a tiny baby so that he might grow to be the perfect Lamb of God, a sacrifice for our sins that we might be reconciled to God. We thank Jesus for the precious gift of salvation. And we praise God for His perfect plan to send his Son as a baby. Amen! May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all this holiday!!!

Soli Deo Gloria,
The Metcalf family,
Nathan, Sarah, Derek and Owen

Taco Casserole

2011-10-28T13:54:00.001-07:00

Even my toddler ate this taco casserole! If the toddler eats it, you know it tastes good! :)

-Brown off 1 lb. ground beef and add 1 packet of taco seasoning
-make spanish rice (I used a box)
-Add 1 can of black beans (drain, but don't rinse them)
-Mix it all together in a pan or pot
-cover bottom of casserole dish with tostada shells or taco shells broken in half
-add layer of meat/rice/bean mixture, cover layer with cheese, cover with enchilada sauce
-repeat until the top layer of meat/rice/bean mixture, cheese and sauce
-cover with foil and bake at 375 for 25 minutes

Yum!! Enjoy!

Slow Cooked Carnitas

2011-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made slow cooked carnitas for dinner. It was fabulously good! I had a bunch of people ask me for the recipe, so I'm posting it here for whoever wants it!

Slow Cooked Carnitas
Serves 12

-1 boneless prok shoulder butt roast (3-4lbs)
-3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
-2 tsp Olive Oil
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp pepper
-1 1/2 cups minced fresh cilantro
-1 cup salsa
-1/2 cup chicken broth
-1/2 cup tequila (or substitute 1/2 cup additional chicken broth)
-8 oz chopped green chilies

1. Cut roast in half; place in slow cooker and sprinkle with garlic, oil, salt and pepper. Add cilantro, salsa, broth, tequila, and chilies. Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or until meat is tender.
2. Remove meat, shred, and return to slow cooker to cook through.

See how easy it is?? It was the easiest thing I've ever done for dinner, and tasted awesome. I did not use the tequila because I didn't have any on hand. I wish I had used it though. It would have given some depth to the flavor. I also forgot to add the chilies, so the meat was not spicy at all. Next time I will use the chilies, but it tasted fine without them if you're not a fan of spice.

10 Years...

2011-09-10T19:28:00.001-07:00

It was a normal school day for me. I woke up at five thirty, showered, got dressed, left my house at six thirty. I picked up my friend Sarah. I can’t remember what we talked about as we drove to Eastview High School, but I’m pretty sure that it was normal teenage stuff. As we drove we listened to the morning show on the local top forty radio station. School starts at seven thirty. It was no different that day. Funny, I can’t even remember what my first hour class was. None of those details were important to me then, they are lost in the fog of time.
It’s interesting how some things are burned into our minds. There are moments when time slows down and you have all the time in the world to log each detail away so that you can remember it all your life. Those who remember Pearl Harbor know what I’m talking about. Those who remember President Kennedy’s assassination know what I’m talking about. During those moments you rarely know that your mind is actually locking those things into your memory. Usually the moment happens and you remember it forever without even realizing why.
I remember that my second hour class was AP Literature and Composition. I remember that my teacher’s name was Mr. Bayer and that he had a really casual teaching style that made his English class the most enjoyable English class I had ever taken in high school. I remember that the girl who sat next to me was named Katie, and that she was in color guard for the marching band. I remember that her boyfriend’s name was Cody because she talked about him all the time. I remember that I sat in the second row on the left hand side of the classroom as you look at it from the back. I remember that we were supposed to watch “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.”
My dad is an airline pilot. That has always made my life a little different. He was gone a lot when I was younger. People always looked at me with the same look that you would give a kid whose dad is in the military.
“Oh, that must have been hard for you.” People would say to me as I got older. The truth is that I never really thought about it. My dad was a pilot before I was born. I have never known anything different. Northwest Airlines, whom my father flies for, has their world headquarters in Eagan Minnesota which is, not coincidentally, where I grew up. That whole area is chuck full of airline families. All my friends in high school with the exception of two were from airline families. When I went off to college people would say things like “Oh wow, your dad’s a pilot?! That’s so cool! So do you, like get to fly for free?” Nobody said things like that in high school. They were all in the same boat as me. There was a mutual understanding among us. We talked smack about Northwest management when the pilots went on strike in 1998, and every time the mechanics went on strike we griped about how the CEO really didn’t know anything about his company. We talked about a lot of things having to do with the airline industry, but we never, ever talked about plane crashes. There is a solidarity among airline families. The same kind of solidarity you find among military families, and NASA families. The thing that airline families have in common with military families and NASA families is that we all know that at any moment, tragedy can strike. It never matters how safe flying is supposed to be, or how few accidents they’ve actually had in the space program, or whether your spouse was supposed to be a non combatant, there is always the knowledge in the back of your head that there is a possibility that when your family member leaves for work, he or she may not come home. You never talk about that possibility. You never think about that possibility. When I was in tenth grade I really, really liked this boy. I was convinced that I was going to marry him someday, as soon as he realized he loved me back. There was nothing that boy could do to make me stop liking him. At least, so I thought. When we were discussing flight plans for our summer missions trip with church, I asked what airline we would be flying. He cracked a joke about flying on Egypt Air. Earlier that month an Egypt Air flight had crashed shortly after take off. It was determined that it was pilot suicide. I hated that boy. I hated him with everything I had for that moment. (And for a while afterwards, until he finally apologized to me.) When TWA flight 800 blew up over the Atlantic, we were glued to the television. The reason is simple, we are a community, and we feel it when we lose a member of that community. The thing about the airline community is that when a plane goes down we don’t just lose one member of the community, we lose several. After it leaves the news, we never talk about it again. It’s not something we want to remember over and over again.
Everything that happened after that second hour class is vivid in my memory. I remember third hour Spanish and calling my mom and telling her that I wanted to go home. I remember Eastview High School going on lock down. I remember a girl named Maggie hysterically telling people that her mom was being forced to evacuate the IDS tower in downtown Minneapolis because “it was next.” I remember a fellow pilot’s daughter huddling next to her locker and telling me that her father was flying that day. I remember there being so much we didn’t know. I remember going home.
I wrote a poem for a scholarship about it. It was really good. It was too good. I never submitted it. I think I wanted to keep it especially for me. Every person had something about that day that they kept to themselves. I think everyone had to keep at least one thing to themselves because there were so many things we shared. American flags lined the streets of suburbia and every car had a “united we stand” bumper sticker. There were candlelight vigils and tributes to the heroic firefighters and police force members. There were bulletin boards covered in pictures of missing people and pictures on the news of their families crying as they pleaded for information about their loved one.
I remember Mr. Bayer turning on the television and turning off the lights in the classroom. I remember that in the split second it took for the video tape to register in the VCR we caught a glimpse of two buildings on fire. I remember thinking it was just a made for TV movie. Then, I remember seeing the CNN logo in the bottom corner. I remember the class shouting in unison, the same two words “GO BACK!!” I remember Mr. Bayer sinking into his chair as we watched unbelieving what was unfolding on the TV in front of us. I remember seeing the buildings fall. I remember the principal talking over the loudspeaker saying that school would remain in session, although teachers would be free to abandon their lessons and just watch the news all day. I remember the airline kids shooting terrified glances at each other. I remember thinking where is my dad? Is he flying? I remember calling my mom and finding out that he was safe at home. I remember waiting anxiously for the newscasters to tell us what airlines had been involved.
There were tributes to the pilots and flight attendants that died that day. But not until later. They seemed to us to be the forgotten victims. Then, we received stickers in the mail from the Airline Pilot Association. They said “we will not forget.” They are right. We won’t forget. I read in the newspaper about the husband of one of the flight attendants and how he rode his bike across the country to commemorate the life of his wife and the lives of her co-workers. There was a memorial put up to venerate the crew of United flight 93.
And me? I joined the ranks of those who would go on to be called the 9/11 generation. We now know what it’s like to be someone who remembers Pearl Harbor, or the Kennedy assassination. We know what it is to have a single moment in history burned into our eyes and ears, and for some of us, our noses as well. We know what it is to suddenly worry about our safety when we’ve never had to before. And, like two generations before us we know what it is like to feel overwhelmed with uncertainty about the future. We all know that someday, our children will ask us about that Tuesday morning, and we will help them write their history papers and projects about it. We will show them newspapers and video tapes of CNN and NBC broadcasts. They will ask us how it feels to remember such a pivotal event in our nation’s history. We will respond that we are not the first to experience it, and we will not be the last. Because, after all, history has a way of repeating itself.

New Things...

2011-09-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

There are so many new things going on. Not all of them are good, but we trust that God is good.
I guess I'll start with the bad since I mentioned that. Nathan's dad is struggling with some on going health issues and went to the doctor because of chronic pain that he thought was stemming from these issues. What they found instead is the strong possibility of the presence of cancer. This news was devastating to the family, even though we aren't really sure what the final result of the tests are. The mere thought of it being cancer is terribly scary. But like I said, we trust that God is good and has this in His plan. Please pray for the whole family over the next week as we find out the results of the tests done yesterday.

Now on to the good stuff:

Owen is getting BIG!! He is now three months old, and things have gotten so much better around here! We are sleeping again, and although he still doesn't sleep very much throughout the day, I have decided I can live with that provided he sleeps at night. Which he does, very well. He is usually only up once a night to eat! It's great! He is a talker! He will look you in the eyes, and really zone in and just baby talk to you and smile and squeal when you talk back. I just love it! He is working really hard on sitting up by himself. He still has a ways to go on that, but it's so fun to watch him try! He's so happy and so smiley! He still loves to be held, and would rather be worn than ride in the stroller, but as long as he can sit up and see what's going on around him he will sit in the stroller for a while.
Derek is huge too. He is 2 1/2 these days going on 20 it feels like. He is talking in full sentences now. He will repeat anything you say, it's so cute to watch him mimicking his daddy. His imagination is blossoming too. He will pretend to be a kitty, or to cook dinner on his play grill. He is the best big brother. He will sit and play baby games with Owen and love on him. He is very careful not to squish the baby by hugging him, and instead will plant brother kisses all over his baby face! Owen in turn will squeal in delight when he sees Derek! It's so heart warming to watch them together!
The weather is turning cooler these days. Fall is coming... winter is coming... This February I turn 28. 27 went by too quickly... Derek will be 3 and ready for preschool next fall. Owen will be one by the time the weather turns warm again. Oh how the time flies by. Don't waste it. Never waste these precious days. All too soon you end up like my parents with both kids married off. Not that I'll mind that stage when I get to it I'm sure, but not now. As I was pacing up and down my house with a sleepless Owen a few nights ago I was speaking softly to him, and this is what I told him:

"Oh precious Baby, how I love you. Don't grow up, okay. Stay little in my arms forever. Your brother grew up and grew too fast. He runs from my kisses now. Stay little in my arms forever, Owen. I know that someday you will be big, and you will go to school, then to college, and you will find a wonderful girl to love and you will love her more than me. You had better love her more than me. But not tonight. Tonight you are mine. Tonight I will hold you and love on you. Stay little in my arms, okay Owen. For just a little while longer."

10 Things I Wish I Could Do....

2011-08-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

1. Go to the beach
2. Go out on a date with my husband
3. Take a jacuzzi bath (it's like my jacuzzi tub is taunting me with all the kiddie toys in it)
4. Go to a movie in the theater
5. Drink caffeine
6. Sleep through the night
7. Write a book
8. Keep up with this Blog
9. Type with two hands
10. Not be frustrated that I can't do these things....

The Reason I've Been too Busy to Blog...

2011-08-21T12:35:00.001-07:00

My Little Sister got married!!!!!!! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially older than the hills. My sister (who is 6 years younger than me) is a Mrs. I was in Minnesota for 2 weeks for the wedding (and I was there for 2 weeks previous to that at the end of July) so I have been away. It was a really busy 2 weeks! Between planning the bachelorette party (which was a HUGE success!) and spray tanning, and correcting a dress that got taken in too much (mine thankfully, not the bride's), and dealing with my kids on top of that it was crazy! Owen started to do better sleeping, but now that we are back at our house, he is all over the place again. Hmmmmm. Anyway, the wedding was beautiful, and I'm so glad to have another brother! 3 brothers-in-law all together! How fun for this girl who grew up with only one sister!!! :)

Confessions of a New Mom Part III

2011-07-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm REALLY REALLY wanting to go to the beach!

Ok, that doesn't have a lot to do with being a new mom, but I would LOVE to take the kids to the beach. Owen is a little young, but Derek would have so much fun! He's constantly asking to go. Maybe next year when Owen is a little bigger.... In the meantime, I will settle myself with sitting in my backyard in the scorching hot sun with ocean sounds playing on my phone. :)

Confessions of a New Mom Part II

2011-07-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

I don't like my seven week old's personality!

I know that babies don't really get their personalities until 3 months or so, but so far, my baby has been nothing but ornery and fussy. He doesn't like to be put down. As a result he hates the swing, the bouncy seat, the play mat, the car seat (therefore the car also), the Ergo carrier, the Moby Wrap, the Baby Bijorn, the stroller.... anything that's not being carried in arms. He also has stopped taking a bottle, and spits out any pacifier you try to give him. Nursing only for this kid. Needless to say this all makes my life very difficult. He has about 5-10 minutes of quiet happy time right after he eats. This is when we play and I get to see his smile. But then he starts fussing and the fussing doesn't stop until he goes to sleep. Thanks to his current sleep strike, that isn't happening very much either. I know that this will soon pass, and I love my baby more than anything, but I really can't wait for that 3 month mark.

Confessions of A New Mom Part I

2011-07-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new series. Confessions of A New Mom. Now, granted, I'm not exactly a new mom, I've been Mom to Derek for a while now, but I'm the mom of a new baby, so that counts. So without further ado, here is Part I...

I Hate Breastfeeding!

I feel like this is something I'm not supposed to hate! So many people talk about how much they love it, but I'm just not feeling it. I breastfed Derek for 7 weeks, and gave up after bad information and formula supplementing depleted my milk supply to nothing. But deep down, I was relieved after I gave it up. I didn't have to worry anymore about wearing clothes I could nurse in easily. I didn't have to worry about sore nipples anymore. I didn't have to deal with engorgement after going on a date with my husband and missing a feeding. It was a little bit of a pain to carry around multiple bottles and formula when we went somewhere, but it was an small inconvenience I was willing to deal with. This time around, things are different. I have much better information. I am more educated about the benefits of and mechanics of breastfeeding. I don't have an excuse for not breastfeeding Owen, so I'm doing it. But I realize I'm doing it begrudgingly. My nipples hurt a lot at first. I have clothes that I packed up and sent into storage because there's no way I can wear them this summer. It would be impossible to nurse in them. I have to bring my pump with me when I go on a date with my husband so I can pump in the car on the way home. It's a pain, but it's what's best for my son. I am determined to do things differently this time around, so I continue nursing. However, I can tell you right now I will not be an EBF-er. One year will be my cut off point. I love my son, but I also want my body back. Plus I want to be able to eat pizza, and lasagna, and ice cream again. :)

For Father's Day

2011-06-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

To my Daddy: What can a girl say about the best Daddy God could have given her? There's so much I should tell you. Like how you were a perfect example of the kind of guy I should look for to marry myself. I say perfect because you were not afraid of your imperfections, but you always were diligent about killing the sin in your life even in front of me and Bekah, showing us how we should do it too. I never harbored ill feelings for the things you missed because of your job. After all, what's one or two piano recitals missed when we took the coolest family vacations ever? :) You have taught me so many lessons through the years, I can't possibly name them all. But, I can tell you this, when the situation presents itself, I will suddenly remember very vividly something you said, or did in the same situation that taught me how to handle it. I totally forgive you for choosing Butterfly Kisses as our Father/Daughter dance at my wedding and making me cry so hard there was no recovering my makeup afterwards. :)One of my favorite memories is having Super Soaker fights in the backyard. We battled with the old pump action Super Soaker 50's (The COOLEST water guns on the market at the time) and we always ended up drenched. I wonder how one of those battles would go with the new battery powered automatic water guns nowadays!! Or how you would set up the little tent in the backyard every year for me and Bekah to play in, and you would be a good sport one night a year and agree to camp out with us in it. You very rarely said no to watching me jump on Jack's trampoline, even though I'm sure I asked at some pretty inopportune times. Although I was pretty excited when we were finally able to get a trampoline of our own. I got over hating you for grounding me from the car after I backed it into the garage by accident, then didn't tell you about it for weeks. I still talk about the times you took me on a trip with you. Even though one of those times didn't turn out the way we thought it would. Remember how we ended up in Morristown NJ instead of Manhattan??? Oops! :) However, there is one thing that sticks in my mind most of all. Something you taught me with out even realizing it. It was after Mom and I got into a huge fight. We were hurling insults at each other, and you arrived and broke up the fight. I remember you doling out my punishment for disrespecting her (don't remember what the punishment was, but I was mad about it). I said something along the lines of how it was unfair when she was just as guilty in the fight as I was. You leveled your gaze at me and said "She is my wife and I will protect her, even from you." With out realizing it, you showed me the lengths a man should go for his wife. Fortunately, the Lord gave me a husband who lives up to this. Thank you for showing me what that type of man looks like so I could recognize him when I found him. Most of all, thank you for showing me Jesus. Thank you for your constant witness during the 21 years I lived under your roof. Thank you for the example of parenting you have given me. I love you so much Daddy!!!

To my Husband: How could I have asked for a better father for my children?? God sure knew what he was doing when he gave you to me! Our boys are blessed to call you Daddy. I love watching you wrestle with Derek and lavish Owen with kisses. I jokingly call you the "baby guy" because you are always so great with the little ones, but especially your own. I love the twinkle you get in your eyes when your son(s) are the subject of conversation. And the way you laugh with me when we have parenting mishaps. I love that after two children, your love for me hasn't faded a bit. You hear of dads who are totally disconnected from their wives and children, and I am so thankful that you are willingly engaged in your family. I love that you are always striving to be a better example of Jesus to our children. In this they will see Him. Thank you for getting up with Derek every day, especially now that we have Owen and I am up during the night with him. Thank you for doing the dishes, and helping with the laundry, and helping with the cleaning. Thank you for being patient with me and my messiness, even though I know it sometimes drives you to the brink of insanity. I love you more than you'll ever know.

To my Grandpa: I miss you more than ever now that it's been 12 years since you went to be with Jesus. I wish more than anything that you could have met Derek and Owen. I wish you could have taken them fishing. They would have loved that. I am so incredibly thankful that you are my grandpa. More than anything else I am thankful that you came to know Jesus before it was too late. I know that you are waiting to meet my boys in heaven when we all join you eventually. I can't wait to introduce them to you. In the meantime, they will hear stories about you. Like how you spared a 4 or 5 year old me the trauma of knowing I'd accidentally killed a fish. It swallowed the hook and there was just no way to remove it without killing the fish. You skillfully redirected my attention and disposed of the dead fish before I even knew what had happened. Or how you bravely quit smoking cold turkey because the doctor told you if you wanted more time with your family you had to quit. Or how you used to give me money and tell me not to tell Mom. I love and miss you Grandpa.

To my Pop Pop: I'm so glad you get to know my boys. Derek and Owen are so incredibly blessed to have a great grandfather to get to know. Thanks for always putting us up in your house when we came to visit Rochester. You are a pretty incredible example to me of how to stay young. :) I mean when I was in high school you were still playing tennis at the club all the time! I'm so glad you and Nana are a part of my life, and a part of Derek's life. I can't wait for you guys to meet Owen!!! Thank you for all you have done for me over the years. I love you!!!

More about Owen

2011-06-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well, Owen is officially 3 weeks old! He is doing great! At his two week appointment last week he weighed 8lbs, and was 21.5 inches long, so he is a growing boy!!! He is doing so well! The best development is his desire to sleep at night! He will eat for a REALLY long time around 9:30pm (for like an hour or more) but then he will go to bed and sleep for 5 hours, eat again, and sleep for anywhere between 3-5 more hours after that! FABULOUS! I realized I didn't include any pictures in his birth story post, so here are a few for you all!

Welcome to the World Abel and Belle!!!!

2011-06-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I've been closely following my friends Aaron and Jennifer in their journey through embryo adoption. Well, the Lord is so good and Jennifer has delivered their twins safely! Abel and Belle were born at 31 weeks due to severe preeclampsia. They are in the NICU, but are doing well. Jennifer underwent two surgeries, her initial C-section, and a second surgery to stop some internal bleeding afterward. But, she has recovered and has been discharged from the hospital, praise the Lord! We continue to pray for Abel and Belle to grow strong so they can leave the NICU and go home. Welcome to the world Abel and Belle! You are loved already by so many people!!!!

Owen's Birth Story

2011-06-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

On May 27th Nathan and I (and Derek) welcomed Owen Michael into our family!!! Here's how it all went down:

On May 26th I had been feeling contractions for weeks. We expected Owen's arrival any day, but he was taking his sweet time. I was dilated to 3cm and was 70% effaced, so I was really just waiting for my water to break. That evening Nathan was poking Owen (in my belly) for fun and I felt a trickle of fluid. I suspected that my water had torn but not broken. I didn't feel any more fluid after that initial trickle, so I figured that Owen's head had blocked the tear. I called my doctor who sent me up to labor and delivery at the hospital. When I got there, they tried to test me for amniotic fluid, but the test kept coming back negative. Again, I wasn't leaking any fluid after that initial trickle, so I wasn't all that surprised that the test was negative. I wasn't having any regular contractions (although I was having them) so they decided to discharge me and send me home to see if labor started on it's own. Before I left the nurse scheduled an appointment at 9am the next day with my doctor. That night I went for a long walk around the neighborhood with a friend and hoped that labor would start overnight. It didn't. I went to the doctor the next morning hoping that she would have some advice for me on how to get labor going. I wanted to wait for spontaneous labor but I was also worried about the possible water bag tear. When I got to the doctor I was dilated to 4cm. She told me my options were to wait it out, or go over to the hospital, have her break my water and see if my body took over from there. I was having contractions every 10 minutes by this time so I was pretty confident that my body would know what to do. I opted to go home, get Derek over to the babysitter's and get my bag packed the rest of the way and then head over to the hospital. I called my mom, who grabbed her already packed suitcase and headed over to the airport to try to get on an overbooked plane. It wasn't looking good for her to get here that afternoon, but she went anyway, and we started praying. I got to the hospital, got situated in bed and waited for my doctor. I was still having regular contractions, but I wasn't in any pain. Nathan and I were hanging out and watching TV when my doctor came in at about 12:30pm and broke my water. After that my contractions got more regular and closer together but I still wasn't in any pain. I was dilated to 6cm by now and so I got out of bed and onto the birthing ball to hang out there for a while. At 2pm they checked me again and I was still at 6cm. My doctor wanted to give a 5 minute long slow drip of Pitocin. I wasn't thrilled with the idea. I had wanted to avoid Pitocin at all costs, but at that point I realized it would help. After 5 minutes they came in and turned it off. The Pit contractions were so painful. It was awful. There's a reason the epidural rates for women who are induced are so high! I was begging Nathan to let me give in and get an epidural, but he was great and refused. It didn't take very long for my body to take over once I accepted the fact that I was not going to do pain drugs of any kind. I was pretty out of it for the next hour or so. I was aware of the nurses checking on me. I was aware of Nathan holding my hand. I was aware of my doctor stopping in periodically to check on me. I was aware of them getting ready to deliver and them setting up a fan to keep me cool (because I started sweating horribly through each contraction because of the pain). But I didn't care about any of it. All I could focus on was getting through each contraction. Finally I came awake when my doctor said it was time to push. Pushing was crazy strange. I could literally feel Owen moving down with each push. At one point there was horrible pressure on my tailbone, but I pushed through it. Getting the shoulders out was the hardest part. (Wide shouldered Metcalfs!) Then just like that, it was over. Owen was born. Turns out that pressure on my tailbone was Owen's face. He came out all black and blue in the face from slamming into my tailbone so hard. But, he was healthy! He was 7lbs. 10oz, and 20 inches long. He is a little nursing machine and when he was weighed a couple days ago he was 7lbs 12oz (which after dropping to 7lbs even at the hospital is pretty darn good weight gain!). He is such a great baby. He doesn't scream unless he's STARVING. He just fusses to let us know he needs something. We sleep pretty well at night except for between 2 and 4am. He really wants those to be awake hours, but Mommy is not so thrilled with that idea so we are working on that. He is laid back and easy going, and like I said, a champion nurser now that we are over the initial learning process. Things are going pretty well in the Metcalf house for now. Derek loves his little brother and never misses an opportunity to hold him and cuddle him and love on him (supervised of course). We will resume life as normal when Nathan goes back to work on Sunday! (Eek!) More updates to come!

God's Blessings

2011-05-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

I just HAD to write a blog post about what the Lord has been doing in our lives the past couple of months. It is just so cool! As some of you (but not all of you) know we have been having a really hard time financially recently. Before this pregnancy we were doing okay. But when we became pregnant the medical bills started piling up and our insurance company shrugged their shoulders at us and said that because we had not yet been on their insurance for a year, they would not cover ANY of my maternity care, labor or delivery. Frustrated, we ditched the company and applied for state health aid for me. If we could just get this pregnancy covered we figured we could go back on the insurance afterward. No one seemed to think getting me covered would be a problem. But it was. It seems that we make $300 above the qualifying cutoff line. And of course, it has taken us about 8 months to get answers from the state about this, and to finally get a denial letter. It has been probably the most discouraging 8 months we've had in a long time. We have struggled to make ends meet and keep up with our doctor bills for this pregnancy. At the same time we have struggled to live by faith. We have lost faith at times, lost sight of the fact that God does indeed care for us and will provide all of our needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus. We have forgotten that He is Jehovah Jireh. We have had to recommit ourselves to trusting that He is truly faithful and good. And as we have done that we have seen His faithfulness in amazing ways. It started when I was told I would not be able to have my level 2 ultrasound without paying $300 to the hospital up front. There was NO way I was going to be able to get that kind of money together before the U/S was scheduled. In tears, I confessed to my parents our situation and told them I was going to have to cancel the procedure. Their response was beyond what I could have imagined. They gave me the $300 I needed to pay the hospital. Over the next few weeks we experienced a series of what is commonly known as "mailbox experiences". We received money from Nathan's parents, some dear dear friends from church, and even more money from my parents all to go toward my prenatal care. (In addition, my parents gave us some money to take a date night!!!!) It seemed like we were finally getting our heads above water. And then, we started looking at baby gear for two kids. Oy! Double strollers are EXPENSIVE! I knew we were going to need one, but I just didn't see how we were going to be able to afford one. And I knew that needs come before wants, but I really wanted a double jogging stroller so that I could go for walks with the boys this summer. (Regular strollers are difficult to use for real exercise.) After checking out all my options, I finally settled on a tandem stroller that was on the cheaper end, but still going to cost almost $200. I gave up on the double jogger. Then came a bigger blow. No double stroller on the market was going to fit into the trunk of our Mazda 6. The only one that was a remote possibility was an almost $400 stroller. Yikes. There was no way this was going to work. We couldn't afford a $400 stroller, and there NO WAY we could afford a new car. So, I prayed. I prayed for weeks that the Lord would make a way. On Maundy Thursday I was approached by a family at our church wanting to give us their minivan. They had no use for it anymore, and wanted a family who needed it to have it. They said the Lord immediately laid us on their hearts. I couldn't speak, only nod dumbly (speechlessly) as I tried to drag my jaw off the floor. We got a new car in a matter of days. I couldn't even begin to believe that the bright blue happy looking minivan sitting in my driveway was mine!! I've never been so happy to drive a mom-mobile (and I call it that affectionately!) We were still faced with the problem of being able to afford a stroller, but after the way the Lord took care of us with the car, I decided He would take care of the stroller problem too. And boy did He!!! We were given not one, but TWO double tandem strollers!!! So, we have one to keep at my parents' house in MN, and one to use here at home!! On top of everything, because we were given two tandem strollers, I was able to use all our gift cards given to us at our shower to nearly completely pay for a double jogging stroller!!!!!! Ohhhhh it gets better people! I met with a lady at our local health department who runs a program that will pay for ALL of my care for the last trimester of my pregnancy!!!!! (This program could have paid for all my prenatal care, but I wasn't informed of the program's existence until last week. The best she could do was cover my last trimester. It is much much better than nothing, that's for sure.) After all this, God wasn't done. Last week I went to Pampered Chef party. I needed to get a gift for our next door neighbor's wedding, so I ordered them something. There was a promotion going on, spend $60 and get this adorable coupon holder in a pink zebra stripe fabric. SO cute!! But, $60 was completely out of the question. So, I put the coupon holder out of my mind, and went on with life. Two days ago I got an email from another lady who was at the party wanting to know if I got the coupon holder. She did get one, and doesn't coupon, so she wanted to know if I wanted it. WHAT???? God wasn't finished when He gave us what we needed, He went an extra step and handed me something I wanted too. How great is our God? If ever anyone needed proof of His goodness, it was me. And He showed me in a BIG way that when we walk in faith, He is faithful and can give us more than all we could ever ask or imagine! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness in my life recently!!!!

Baby Stuff

2011-05-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost time folks! In less than 3 weeks we will be a family of four!!!! How exciting and scary and exciting and scary and did I mention exciting and scary? So, I've been working on my baby checklist for a week and a half now, and I think I might be almost done! Let's see...

New Car: Check! Ok, this wasn't originally on my baby checklist, because there's NO WAY we could have afforded to buy a new car. We were planning on cramming what we could into our Mazda 6. But, God had a cool plan! A family at church was giving away their Dodge Caravan and asked if we could use it, to which we dumbly nodded. SPEECHLESS! So, we got a new car that will FIT everything in it!!!!! Praise the Lord!

Carseat: Check! Of course, this was leftover from when Derek was an infant so we already had it, but it is in the car and ready to go!

Double stroller: Check times 3!!!! We had two Graco Duogliders given to us for free! (Praise the Lord again!) So, we will keep one at my parents' house for use when we are in MN, and the other we will use here at home! Because people were so generous to us by giving us those tandem strollers, I was able to use baby shower gift cards to purchase a double jogging stroller! I am totally excited about this because during the summer I walk up to 5 miles a day and a jogging stroller is a must when you're doing those kinds of distances. It's just all around easier to push and handle, so I wanted one really badly. The one I got even has all the features I wanted! (Individual sunshades for each kid and a snack tray for each kid! Plus the infant seat snaps into it! Score!)

Derek switched to a toddler bed: Check (finally)! It took a couple months, but Derek is now comfy in his toddler bed at night, and we have a solid routine reestablished in our house. More praise for that because it was rough for a couple months there.

Crib ready: Check! Mattress is raised and clean sheets are on it, and it is ready to go!

Baby Laundry done: Check! After a full week of doing nothing but laundry (nesting!) it is finally done and put away and ready to go!

Extras bought: Check! We did a Babies R Us shopping trip yesterday! We got newborn pacifiers, another diaper pod for Owen (because Derek is still using his), new bottle nipples just in case we need them, and a few other odds and ends that we were lacking.

Hospital bag packed: Check (mostly)! I don't have any of the things I use everyday in there yet (like deodorant and stuff like that), but I have sweatpants, and a couple thin sweatshirts, a t-shirt, my nursing camis, and a few things for Owen all ready to go in the bag!

I feel accomplished! Do any of my mommy readers out there have anything that they think I've missed???

Our New Running Joke

2011-04-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

So at my last doctor's appointment, I mentioned to my doctor that I'd been having some really weird cravings recently. Not necessarily to eat, but it was slowly evolving into that. I mentioned that I'd been obsessed with rocks, specifically gravel. The sound wet gravel makes when you crunch it beneath your feet, and that in the last few days I had imagined crunching gravel with my teeth a few times, and I'd been crunching ice like crazy to mimic the sound. Anyway, she knew immediately what was wrong with me. She drew some blood just to be sure, and sure enough... Iron deficiency. It's SUPER common in pregnancy, so she sent me out to buy some Iron supplements (and extra fiber tablets!). Anyway, Nathan and I can't stop laughing about the fact that I actually was craving ROCKS! Anyone else out there crave something horribly weird during pregnancy (with or without the possible reasonable cause)? :)

Oops

2011-04-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been delinquent on updating this thing. Part of it has to do with it being the most busy couple of months EVER! Oh my goodness! March was crazy with my sister in law's wedding. I spent the better part of the last few weeks in February and first few weeks of March praying that my bridesmaid dress would fit me. Luckily, it zipped up on the big day with just a few centimeters to spare!! Derek was in the wedding too! He was sooo stinking adorable in his little tie! He walked down the aisle without a fuss and spent the whole rest of the wedding hanging out quietly and contentedly with Mimi and Grandpa (my parents). What a great boy! Nathan officiated the wedding, and the pastor at the church they got married at kept calling him Reverend Metcalf. Every time I burst out laughing. It was just so strange to hear him called that! I cracked up during the ceremony when he said it. I couldn't help it! Anyway, moving on into April...

Owen has been growing nicely. I'm actually gaining weight with this pregnancy, albeit, not much. I've only gained 8 lbs. so far. Whew! I mean, I know weight gain is good, but I really don't want to have a ton to lose at the end. Speaking of the end, it's actually almost here. I can hardly believe that. Thank God this pregnancy has gone by fast. It's been a bit miserable, but I am thankful that it's almost time to meet my new little boy!

Okay, now I'm going to keep more updated and constant with the blog (don't I always say that?). I promise! :)

Happy Birthday Derek!

2011-02-22T17:53:00.000-08:00

My little man is TWO! I can't even believe it! Has two years really gone by?

Derek,
My son, what to say? You are an amazing little muffin! You are so articulate when you speak. Last year you were signing, this year you are talking! You are learning so much, it boggles Mommy's mind. You love to narrate your day for me, just like I used to do for you when you were a baby. WERE a baby! Not a baby anymore are you little man? Nope you're a big two year old. You love to play with your friends Grayson and Kadence, and your big kid friends from church. You still revel in the attention from Daddy's youth group teens. You know where "your baby" is and already love him even though you haven't seen him yet. At least that's what you told me the other day. "I love Baby" you said. Made Mommy's heart melt that's for sure. You look like such a big boy in your clothes now. No more onsies and adorable baby outfits. You love Thomas the train, and Veggie Tales, and "Lightning Car" and of course, Buzz and Woody! You're more of a shower kid now than bath, even though the logistics of it are difficult. You are such a helper too. You LOVE to help Mommy with the laundry and the dishes. I hope that lasts! You love Jesus too. I can already see the beginnings of a love for the Lord in your heart. You love to pray to Jesus, and to shout "AMEN" at the end. You remind Mommy and Daddy to pray all the time. You ask us to read the Bible to you and not just your little storybook Bible, but the "big boy" Bible too. When we ask you if you love Jesus, you always respond with a resounding "YES!" We love to see this growing in you most of all Derek. Never lose that heart my son. I love you with all my heart, and I can't wait to see what is in store for us in the next year as we cruise on toward 3!
Love forever and ever,
Mommy

More Adventures....

2011-02-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

This one took place at 6:30am this morning! We have 2 cats, one is a kitten and he's crazy wild. I know it's a kitten phase, but I seriously cannot take one more night of my sleep being interrupted by Piper terrorizing our older cat, Calvin. So out of desperation last night Nathan kenneled Piper in the laundry room. We gave him a small litter box in his kennel along with a small bowl of water... (can you see where this is headed? When Derek woke up at 6:30 this morning, Nathan went to get Piper out of the kennel before getting Derek out of bed and, well, let's just say it was the worst mess he has ever seen. Piper had of course knocked over the bowl of water and gotten soaking wet, then slept in the litter box to avoid the water. Since we use the clumping litter he was caked in dried clumped litter this morning. I wish I had gotten the opportunity to take a before picture of Piper, but we were occupied with getting him into the bathtub and getting Derek up for the morning at the same time, so Here are pictures of the aftermath!

Adventures in the Life of a Pregnant Stay at Home Mom

2011-02-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I have it together and like I can do this thing called being a stay at home mom. There are weeks, like last week, that I successfully run my household, cook dinners (or at least successfully get my hubby to volunteer to cook for me! Haha!), organize my home, and care for my son, all while working in a couple of shifts at my for fun part time job and hosting an old friend from high school! I was on top of life last week!!!

Then there's this week.... When this week started off with my mom letting me know that due to illness she wouldn't be coming to visit, I lost all my motivation. So, laundry is still crawling along, the floors well, I just did those tonight so I guess I can check that off my list. But just about everything else has gone out the window... Along with Derek's nap today... along with my nap today...

But it's all part of the adventure right? And on the bright side, I have more weeks like last week than I have like this week. Any other stay at home moms out there experience this?

Pet Peeves

2011-01-30T06:49:00.000-08:00

I want to play the pet peeves game again!!!! This time the category is Facebook pet peeves!

Here are a few of mine:
-People who "like" their own comments or statuses. LAME-O
-couples who use their statuses or each other's walls to talk about all the physical things they are going to do to each other (usually in hidden terms). YUCK-O
-CONSTANT game invites from people even after you've hidden one app they attack your feed with a new one. STOP IT!
-When you post something seemingly innocuous as your status and someone finds a way to argue with you about it. My wall, my post, LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT!

Ok, your turn!!!!!

Delta Airlines

2011-01-24T16:22:00.000-08:00

If I could write a letter to Delta Airlines customer service, it would go something like this:

Dear Delta,
I have a few tips for you that might help you in the customer service department. I have noticed that you have ranked at the bottom for customer service among airlines out there, and seeing as I have spent several years in the customer service industry, I thought I might have a few pointers to help you out.

1. When you say that you have a flight at 2:25pm every day, it is helpful to schedule an airplane to be at the gate at 2:25pm to actually make the flight. One thing that will really make your ratings tank is when people check in two hours early for their 2:25pm flight only to get to the gate and realize that it is not actually leaving until 3:15pm, or 4:30pm, or worse yet, 6:30pm. That doesn't sit well with anyone. So, do yourself a favor and make sure there's an airplane available at 2:25pm to take these people where they want to go.

2. Staffing, staffing, staffing!! I can't stress this enough. Staff your airports adequately. Running 3 flights back to back out of the same gate because there isn't enough staff to run 2 departure gates is unacceptable. Also, unacceptable is when 3 spaced out flights become 3 back to back flights because of delays. See point 1.

3. When there is a gate change, for the love of God, announce it. And get the airport to change the gate number on the monitors, just in case someone missed your unintelligible loudspeaker announcement.

4. People are paying lots of money to check their bags. When the bag arrives with a wheel missing and the pull handle broken, it doesn't look good for you. Just sayin'. If I was paying $60 to check my bag and it was all busted up when it came back, I'd be pretty upset. (Not my bag by the way, although you did manage to tear one of the zipper pulls off my expensive Travelpro suitcase. Not sure how you managed that one.)

5. Passengers traveling with lap babies who check their car seats actually need those car seats on the other end of their travels in order to leave the airport. You see, we cannot just say "Oh, well, I'll come back and pick it up." Our babies need to be in those car seats in order to travel. Next time you leave my car seat behind you can babysit my child for seven hours at the airport while my husband and I go out to dinner and to a movie. We will be back later to pick him up after all. Another note on car seats... Having many different types of loaner seats will ensure that you don't end up with babysitting duty. Offering me an infant seat for my 25lb. 2 year old isn't going to cut it.

6. Standard Operating Procedure (as well as common curtesy) suggests that if you do perchance leave my car seat behind, it should arrive on the next flight. I should not have to request that you write a letter to the ground crew at the Minneapolis airport and ask them pretty please with a cherry on top to send the car seat on the next flight out. It should automatically be there. Just in case this isn't SOP for Delta, your baggage agents, or ticketing agents, or whoever handles the claim should be smart enough to realize that they need to request that the car seat be on the next flight. Many times the passenger doesn't know there needs to be a written request posted, so they won't ask for it. Don't assume that just because they don't ask for it means they don't want it. Again, common sense, people. I'm pretty sure the frazzled mother with the screaming toddler would LOVE to have her $300 car seat back as soon as possible.

7. Lastly, when something does go wrong, APOLOGIZE to your customers! Don't treat them like it's their fault the airplane had a mechanical problem in Timbuktu and so is 5 hours late getting to MSP. Because I'm POSITIVE that one of your passengers booked on the MSP to ICT flight flew to Timbuktu and sabotaged the aircraft. Doesn't everyone want to spend more time in the airport??

I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Sarah

(Of course I could never actually write this letter. After all, I'm just a non-rev.)

Year End Letter

2010-12-23T10:53:00.000-08:00

Hello and Merry Christmas to all my beloved friends!
This year has gone by so fast it seems. I feel like I was just writing a year end letter! Where to begin with life this year?

Derek has grown so much in this past year. I feel like we were just celebrating his first Christmas, but here we are at his second, and when I look at him and at the progress he has made in the past year it becomes clear to me how far we have come! We celebrated his first birthday in February with a huge airplane themed birthday party. We had invitations that looked like boarding passes, an airplane shaped cake, lots of food, and the center piece- a runway table cloth! Derek's Grammy and Grandpa (Sarah's parents) came down for the party and airline pilot Grandpa helped ensure that the runway table cloth was accurate to real life! :)
Last year Derek's vocabulary consisted mostly of sign language, but now he is a little chatterbox! He is stringing words together into short sentences, and understanding the concepts of things belonging to people. He will point to things and say "Momma's" or "Dadda's". It's great! Over the summer he discovered he LOVES swimming. There is a park not far from our house where we would go on walks first thing in the morning, and there's a little fountain there that he would have a blast playing in. We even got to go to the city waterpark a few times and he thoroughly enjoyed that. In August Derek went and spent a fun week at Grammy and Grandpa's while Mom and Dad got away on a much needed vacation. He had a blast and didn't even a shed a tear when he said goodbye to Mom and Dad! Although he was pretty happy to see them again after a week! In November Derek got treat. His cousins came to visit for Thanksgiving. He loved playing with his cousin Caleb who is four, and his cousin Isaac who is 2.

Nathan has been plugging away at growing his youth group at our church. He just loves his job and loves the kids he works with. He has been busy with trips and events Over the last year he has led trips to Minnesota, Kansas City, and Colorado, as well as several local events including an all church picnic and swimming party in July. That was a great event that everyone is looking forward to doing again next year. Nathan has been enjoying his work schedule. It allows him to be at home with Sarah and Derek as much as he possibly can during the week. Wednesdays and Sundays of course are the long work days for him, but he is able to have Friday and Saturday as his weekend. WE have decided that having a weekday as an off day is wonderful! It allows us to do things together as a family (like the zoo, and the mall) that would normally be very crowded on Saturdays.

Sarah has had her hands full with an active little boy, and making new friends. She has a regular standing playdate on Mondays and of course sees our good friends Ben, Jena, Kadence and Liam regularly. She started working very part time in March at a transitional home for single women called Mt. Hope Sanctuary. This home is a ministry supported by our church, and reaches out to help single women who need assistance getting back on their feet after a messy divorce, or being incarcerated, or leaving a dysfunctional family situation. Sarah has enjoyed her work here, and feels like she is finally using her psychology degree to s certain capacity, although her primary role remains stay at home wife and mom to Derek.

In family news, Nathan and Sarah were finally able to take the trip to Hawaii they had been planning for 5 years. It was always Sarah's dream to go to Hawaii for our 5 year wedding anniversary, and the Lord was gracious enough to allow us the means to do that. Derek stayed at Grammy and Grandpa's and Nathan and Sarah spent a much needed week by themselves enjoying tropical paradise! While in Hawaii we visited Pearl Harbor to see the USS Arizona Memorial, and the battleship USS Missouri. We toured the Dole pineapple plantation, and hiked to the peak of Diamond Head, an extinct volcano on the island of Oahu. We spent the rest of our time on Waikiki Beach lounging in a cabana and reading, talking, listening to music and soaking up the sun. We also enjoyed getting to eat at restaurants that were local to Hawaii. We were very proud of ourselves for only visiting one chain restaurant, Cheesecake Factory, which of course, is forgivable. :)
In other family news, we discovered in September that we will become a family of four in June of next year! That's right! Derek will be a big brother!! We are thrilled, and although Sarah has not been feeling well, she has been a trooper.
Calvin and Piper, our two cats, are doing well. Calvin still has no great love for Piper, but the little kitten has grown on him some over that past year we have had him. They like to play fight at night after all the lights are off, and boy are they loud! Hopefully Piper will mellow out a little as he gets older. :)

We are so blessed with all that has gone on this past year in our family. I hope that this letter is a testimony to God's goodness to us. He is good all the time. I love that we get to take this time of year to reflect on that, and to celebrate the incarnation of Jesus Christ, who was God's ultimate gift to us. His ultimate display of goodness. That He would send His Son as a human to take on the sins of the world. We are always so thankful for Jesus Christ, and for the way He paved to have a relationship with Him so that we might be saved. Praise His Name at Christmas time, and forever more! May the Lord bless all of you this coming year. We love you all!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Nathan, Sarah and Derek Metcalf

Missing You...

2010-12-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

It dawned on me today that it has been four very long years since we last saw all of our dear friends who live in South Carolina(/North Carolina). In my opinion this is far far too long. I think I'm actuely aware that I'm missing so much in their lives, and they're missing so much in mine right now. I have close friends from down there going through a very tough and uncertain time with one of their children right now, and I long to hug them and physicaly be present with them. I have dear friends who are experiencing one of God's greatest blessings right now with a pregnancy they didn't know if they would ever have. I wish I could hug them and sit and talk with her for a long time and comiserate pregnancies, and help assuage the inevitable worry that comes along with it. I have wonderful friends who have had two new babies since I saw them last, and the baby they had the last time time I saw them just turned four. She's not a baby anymore!! All of our youth group kids from LBC have grown up. Some are getting married, some are graduating from college soon, one has been to the other side of the world and back and is fighting for recovery in a Naval Hospital. There are so many more people that I miss. Even our alma mater campus has changed drastically in four years. I hate how when I look at our finances I wonder if we will ever be able to go back. I hate wondering if I am ever going to see these amazing people again. I'm thankful for facebook, but there comes a point when writing ((HUGS)) just doesn't cut it anymore. With a second baby on the way, i just don't know how we will do it. But I do know that we have to at some point Even if we have to save for the next couple years. We HAVE to get back down there. So, if my SC friends are reading this, know that I miss you all!!

Why My Family Will Celebrate Christmas

2010-11-30T14:21:00.000-08:00

I recently was reading a seemingly innocuous post on Christmas tradition by Mark Driscoll on Facebook, and was shocked to discover that there are many Christians who feel very passionately that celebrating Christmas is sinful. Their rationalization is that Christmas is a pagan holiday (Saturnalia) assimilated by the Catholic Church. Now, this is actually true. The timing of the pagan celebration of Saturnalia, and the pagan celebrations for the Winter Solstice were considered by the Church when choosing a date for the Christmas celebration. However, I do not feel that it is sinful to celebrate Christmas. I've listed a few arguments below used by people against Christmas, and why we have chosen to overlook said argument.\

1. It's a pagan holiday assimilated by the Church. We shouldn't celebrate any pagan holidays.

-True. We shouldn't as Christians celebrate Saturnalia, or the Winter Solstice. But that's not what I'm celebrating at Christmas. I don't even know all the ins and outs of Saturnalia, nor do I care. And as far as the Winter Solstice goes... If we never had another Winter Solstice ever again I would be the happiest person in the world. No winter celebrations here. Not for this summer lovin' girl. :) No, I do not celebrate those things. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' incarnation on this earth. It is a great miracle that God had a plan of salvation in place from the very beginning of time. He knew that Adam and Eve would screw up in the Garden of Eden. He knew before the creation of the earth that He would need a plan of salvation for the humans He was about to create in His image. Jesus was that plan. God sent His Son to earth in human form so that He might live as a man for a time before completing His salvific work by dying on the cross and rising again on the third day (but that's another holiday altogether!). Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus' birth as a human baby. Amazing isn't it that we can take this time every year to specifically remember this sacrifice that Jesus made for us? Philippians 2 tells us of this sacrifice: "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,b being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. " (ESV) While we should give thanks for this all year round, it is only fitting that we take time to especially honor what Jesus has done. That brings me to the next argument...

2. We should celebrate Jesus' birth all year.

-Yes, but like I said, it is only fitting that we dedicate our minds for a season to really marvel at what Jesus has done. I mean, we should be thankful for Jesus' death and resurrection year round too, but I don't see anyone arguing against Easter. (Although I say that and there probably are those out there who do.) We can only give God more glory by dwelling on the miracle of the incarnation, and in the end isn't that what life is all about?

3. Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December!

-Who gives a flying flip? The only reason you know when you were born is because of the careful records kept by this country. You could have been an orphan from some other country and have not a clue when your birthday is. Wouldn't you still want to celebrate one if you could? Besides, I have heard very few people actually argue that Jesus was born in December. That's obviously not the point. The point is we take time in December to celebrate the incarnation. We could do it in June if we wanted, although then you'd probably have the naysayers up in arms about the Summer Solstice. :)

This certainly isn't an exhaustive list of arguments, it's just the ones that I heard most frequently while I was reading. I don't feel the need to defend my decision to celebrate Christmas, but I thought it would make for an interesting blog post!

Rejoice with Those who Rejoice!

2010-11-29T14:16:00.000-08:00

Oh you have to pop over to Aaron and Jennifer's blog to see what God has done!!! How great and how good is the God we serve! Praise His name forever! Merry early Christmas you guys!

Why I've been MIA

2010-11-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't been blogging as regularly as I would like. There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. I found out on Sept. 28th that we are expecting our second child!! We are extremely excited, but I have been really sick. I spent 3 weeks unable to function aside from making the trip from my bedroom to the bathroom to throw up, multiple times a day. Thanks to my amazing doctor, I am now back on the Zofran I was taking while I was pregnant with Derek and my life is much better. I still don't feel 100%, but I feel much much better. Still, it's hard to get motivated to blog when I'd rather be using Derek's nap time to sleep myself! Haha!

2. Nathan and I have been dealing with an immense issue in our ministry that I am not able to discuss in a public forum such as this. All I can say is that we covet the prayers of our brothers and sisters. We have never faced anything like this before, and while we know it is for our sanctification in Christ Jesus, we are still at a loss as to what to do. We are thankful for those of you who do know about the situation who have offered up your advice. Please continue to pray that the LORD would grant us wisdom.

That's all for now. Like I said, with these two things eating up most of my remaining brain capacity (after it's been fried by hours of PBS Kids and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and picking up the same mess over and over again...) I may not be blogging as much. Hopefully the second trimester will bring the return of my energy!

I am Finished...

2010-10-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

I have come to a point in my life where I am extremely discouraged with the terrible attitude displayed by others toward me lately. I have been judged to be a sub-par human by more people in the last 4 weeks than I have ever encountered in my twenty-six years of life. I am done. I will not stand for it any more. From now on, no one may tell me that I am a bad mother because my child sleeps in a crib. A crib is not "baby jail", a crib is not evil. A crib is not going to cause my child to die suddenly in their sleep. No one knows what causes SIDS. I will no longer tolerate being told I am terrible because of the choices I have made in the raising of my child. I will no longer be told that I can't take care of myself as a woman because I am a mother. I am both. I am a woman, and a mother. I am a mother and wife. Both relationships are important and I will spend time on both relationships. If that means leaving my toddler with a trusted babysitter for a few hours so my husband and I can go out, so be it. Do not judge me for taking care of my marriage.
I will no longer tolerate being gossiped about. The minute I hear of someone speaking ill of me or my family behind our backs, I will go to them and lovingly confront them as is exemplified in Matthew 18:15. If that is not received then I will react with following Matthew 18:16 and bringing another party in on it. And if that still is not received then I will go to the church with no hesitation. It's people from church doing it anyway, so hopefully it won't get to that point. But I cannot continue to live my life in fear of these people and what they might say.
I will no longer tolerate the attitude of believers towards one another. I will no longer allow it to be swept out of sight, but rather shine light on it so that the sin can be dealt with. When someone judges me based on my appearance (as happened last night when I was told I was not going to "get into heaven" because I have pierced ears), I will lovingly remind them that man looks at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)
I will no longer respond to someone speaking in anger, but will rather encourage them to correct in love if it must be done. I will not grovel before people who are too immature to accept an adult's sincere apology. If they do not accept a sincere and godly apology then I will shake the dust off my feet and be done with them (while still loving and praying for them to come around).
I have reached the point where I cannot ignore these things any longer. Christians have HORRENDOUS attitudes, especially toward one another. It is disturbing to finally be in a place where I am seeing what the non Christians are talking about. I have never been in a place where Christians are so unloving toward one another. It is shocking, and it is heart breaking. Something must be done. That is why I am finished with looking the other direction while everyone eats each other for breakfast. To quote Derek's current favorite movie "I didn't come this far to be breakfast!" (Finding Nemo)

One More Rant...

2010-10-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, maybe I'm the only one bothered by this but every tine I see someone suggesting that a child be drugged for no medical reason I freak out. For example: a friend's Facebook status this morning was asking for tips on a long car trip with two very small children. Most responses were decent enough but there's always that one person who says "Benadryl!" WHAT????? Ok seriously, I know my friend is smart enough not to do that but it really pisses me off. How bout we tranquilize you? Childrens' bodies are so tiny and at very young ages (under the age of four) their systems are still underdeveloped. This is why you can't give a child under 4 cold medicine. This is why Robitussin can't be given to children under age 6. The amount of medicine could literally poison a child. So that being said, don't medicate your children just to shut them up!!! How stupid and lazy can a parent be? You chose to have children and that means putting up with them on car trips if you choose to take them. Now let me clarify that I'm not against medication. I give Derek infant Tylenol (or whatever the knockoff is) when he is in pain. If your child has allergies and your doctor says its ok and gives you the correct dosage then by all means give your child Benadryl. Use medication for its intende2d purpose, not for a tranquilzer.

Ok. Rant over. Anyone out there agree with me? Or am I going nuts?

Mild Vent

2010-09-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

Very mild vent here....

Maybe I'm crazy, but when someone asks advice on wanting to buy a version of a particular object that doesn't cost "an arm and a leg", people shouldn't suggest the highest end version of that item that costs an arm and a leg!!!!!!!!! That's my opinion anyway. I'd pretty pretty mad if I was looking for a cheap plastic tupperware cup and people kept directing me toward the Swarovski Crystal champagne flutes.

9/11 Remembered

2010-09-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Vacation!!!!

2010-08-26T14:21:00.001-07:00

Three weeks ago Nathan and I dropped Derek off with my parents for "Camp Grandparents" and ran away to Hawaii for a week! It was fantastic to reconnect with each other, and to not have to be parents for a week. We spent a lot of time at the beach, went to Pearl Harbor, climbed up Diamond Head, and visited the Dole Plantation! The best part about being there (besides it being a tropical island of course) was the hustle and bustle of Waikiki. Nathan would not agree with me on that, but I LOVE places like that. There were interesting people to watch, high end retail stores to look at (only pretending to be actually serious about buying that $500 belt), and plenty of restaurants to eat at! Every night everyone gets dressed up to go out to dinner. The nights are warm and dark, but Waikiki is brightly lit. There’s a soft glow of torchlight amongst the brightness of the lights in the stores. Every restaurant has live music and a gorgeous patio to sit on. Everything is open air. The malls, hotel lobbies and even the airport have a gorgeous tropical breeze blowing through them. There are palm trees everywhere and the Pacific Ocean is a beautiful opal blue. Everything about Hawaii is perfect.

The day we got there we FINALLY landed (after a grueling 8 hour flight) and we had thought we would be able to do so much stuff that day! We landed at 3:30pm Hawaii time which is 8:30pm our body time. Then we waited forever for our luggage, and waited for a shuttle bus. Then spent an hour and a half on the shuttle bus. We checked into our hotel and finally got to our room and discovered we were exhausted. We were undeterred. We were determined to stay up until 9pm Hawaii time so that we could get acclimated. We took showers and got dressed up a little to go out for dinner. By the time dinner came I was so tired that I was sick to my stomach. The food looked fantastic, but I just couldn’t eat it. I couldn’t even muster the energy to pick up a fork! I made it until 8:30 that night before I crashed. Then we were up at 4:30 in the morning (which was of course 9:30am central time). Since we were up so early we decided to go to Pearl Harbor that day. So we got dressed ate breakfast and hopped a city bus. I love Pearl Harbor. There’s so much history there. It’s like discovering that this place really exists and these things really happened. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been there (3 now) the feeling is the same each time. (Ok, the last two times because the first time all I remember is getting my picture taken in front of the Arizona’s anchor. I was 4 years old.) The Arizona Memorial is such a powerful place. Knowing you are standing in the very spot, over the very ship where over 1700 men died is a very sobering thing. Seeing their names on a wall is even more sobering. This visit I took the time to really read each of the names. Two stand out to me. W.H. Hurd (Hurd is my mother’s maiden name) and A.F. Power (Power is my maiden name). It’s crazy to see your own last name up on that wall, even if the person had no close relation to you, somewhere down the line they are your kin. It’s a bit freakish to see that. There was even a Metcalf on the survivors list. I guess he got lucky. We also made our way over to see the battleship Missouri. That was pretty cool! We spent our second day on the beach. The whole day. It was great! Our third day we hiked up Diamond Head and went out to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. We did the big pineapple maze and saw some of the pineapple plants. We shopped a lot there. They have everything pineapple you can imagine! Of course we had some straight from the source Dole Whip (pineapple ice cream). I was sooooooooooo good! As a matter of fact, I can’t wait to have more when we go back to Minnesota next week for the State Fair! We spent all day the next day shopping, and then hit the beach, and out last day we literally rented a cabana and sat on the beach from breakfast until dinner! I have seriously never relaxed so much on a vacation! It was great!!!!!

Since we got back I’ve been going stir crazy. Life has just been too slow in our little town. I’m really not used to the slow paced life of small town America yet. Coming from a relatively large metropolitan area and moving here was a bit of a culture shock. Not welcome culture shock. Going on vacation reminded me of how much I liked my old hustle and bustle life, and coming back to the slow life has been difficult. I miss being able to run out and do things. I used to think, gee I really need to run over to Old Navy. I’ll go, it’ll only take 20 minutes. Now it’s a whole day trip to go because I’m not going to drive an hour to Old Navy for a 20 minute errand, so I have to be planning to do multiple things while I’m “in the city”. I know that eventually I will get used to the pace of life here, but I also battle with not wanting to slow down. I like a fast paced daily life. Fortunately, I have an 18 month old, so life won’t slow down for a while!

2010-07-31T19:43:00.001-07:00

So, tonight I'm going to do something I have never done on my blog. I'm going to complain for a minute. I'm going to complain because it will make me feel better. There is a purpose, it's not just complaining for the sake of complaining. Once I get this off my mind I will feel better and be able to go on with life.

Ok, here goes...

I was rear ended yesterday. And, frankly, I'm mad about it. Here's what I'm mad about, it should have never happened! I was doing everything right. I was at an intersection where the light was green. I was turning left so I was stopped, yielding to oncoming traffic. I had my blinker on. The pick up truck behind me just simply didn't see me, or so he said. Chances are he was texting or messing with his phone or the radio or reading something. Something distracted him because he had been behind me at the previous stoplight. He knew I was there, but he didn't see me slow down and stop to turn left?? Anyway, The car is crunched, and the appraiser hasn't been out to look at it yet, so we are in limbo with the car, and Derek's $300 Britax Advocate car seat is junk now because any time you get in an accident you have to toss the car seat. So today we trekked down to Wichita to buy a new car seat. (we borrowed one from a friend for the trip down there.) Only to find, of course, that we would be unable to purchase the same car seat as a replacement. Apparently the Advocates are only sold online, well we don't have time to wait around for them to ship one to us because we need it in 3 days to drive to the airport. We couldn't keep the one we borrowed for 2 weeks, so we were stuck. So, we bought a Boulevard instead. I'm mad about that too. Here's the deal, I did a lot of research on car seats before I bought the Advocate. The reason I chose the Advocate over the Boulevard is because of the side impact cushions. The Advocate has them, the Boulevard doesn't. I'm mad because I feel like now my son isn't as safe as he was in the other car seat. And, while this may seem petty, I'm mad that they didn't even have a good fabric pattern in the Boulevard. They had this color that they said was "tan" but it looked like newborn baby poop. And then they had this kinda navy blue colored one with beige designs on it, and trust me it's not as nice as it sounds. It's kinda strange looking actually. But, this one was definitely the lesser of the two evils. So, now we have an ugly car seat that doesn't have the same safety features as our last one all because some moron was too busy with something else to concentrate on driving. Lastly, I'm mad at him. He was nice at the scene (he better have been) he took the tongue lashing I gave him pretty well. The police gave him a couple tickets, which was nice. But I'm still mad. I have a crunched car and an ugly car seat and a ruined weekend, and he wasn't even in his own car. It was a company car! Grrrrr.

Ok, thanks for putting up with that. I'm done complaining now.

This Past Week

2010-07-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

We've had a doozy of a week! Nathan left last Monday for a trip to Colorado with the youth group. I thought that the week he was gone would be a breeze. I had a full day of work on Monday (which I hadn't had in over a year!) and it made the day go by quickly. Then Tuesday I had planned to take Derek to the pool, we have a standing play date on Mondays that we were going to move to a different day, I was planning to take Derek to the children's museum and we were going to have a really fun week. All my plans were shot to heck on Tuesday morning when Derek woke up with a fever. I figured no problem, so we would spend the day (which was rainy anyway) inside letting Derek rest. He sometimes gets low grade fevers when teething and they're always gone the next day. It wasn't gone on Wednesday. So we spent another day inside (gorgeous day this time). His fever was still sticking around on Thursday so we were inside again. I made a doctor's appointment for Friday since by now I knew it wasn't just teething. Nathan finally got home Thursday night, but he was exhausted. I took Derek to the doctor on Friday morning and discovered he had a "virus". Nothing specific, just a virus. So, he slept all day on Friday. Yesterday he finally felt better, but we took him to the all church picnic and today he is absolutely exhausted. He has been taking only one nap a day since he was 12 months old, and today he is on his second nap!! Continued prayers for his recovery would be appreciated!

Scripture Memory for Babies??

2010-06-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Nathan and I were discussing the other day an idea that has been on my mind for a while. I started thinking about it months ago when I ran across a friend of mine's child, about 3 years old, who could sing every single word to a popular secular song that was on the radio. My friend (who is a Christian) was very proud of her child. There was a video that went viral not long ago of a toddler boy singing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" (you know the one where he melts down when his father tells him "you're not a single lady buddy"). And these experiences got me thinking. If our two and three year olds can sing the words to the secular songs we hear on the radio in the car (I'll talk about my opinion on that in a minute) why do we think they are too young to start memorizing Scripture?

Here's the deal. If you want your young child(ren) to learn Scripture from a young age, the key is music!! So, turn off the GARBAGE that is on secular radio (trust me on this guys. There is nothing good on it anyway. Any of you heard Usher's "OMG"? Case and Point.) just turn it off. Why are we pumping our kids' heads full of this crap? Why are they learning the lyrics to "Single Ladies"? Good grief people! Have you ever listened to the lyrics of these songs yourself? I'll tell you what, there is no way my son is gonna hear this stuff at his age or any other age that I control what is listened to in the car. Yuck. Instead, find some Scripture memory program that puts Scripture to music. I grew up listening to G.T. and the Halo Express. It's a series of 7 CD's (now a days. Back then they were cassette tapes!) that have a story and verses set to music to go with the story. I hadn't listened to G.T in years (up until Christmas of last year) and I could still sing you the verses I learned listening to it. I want that for my son. I want my son to learn Scripture and hide it in his heart. I want my son to get to be an adult and still know all the Scripture he learned as a little child. I want to be the kind of parent that points him toward God this way. So it's settled. Who's with me on this? Let's abandon the music of the world and trade it for Christ Centered music. Let's pump our children full of Scripture so that they can grow up wielding the Word of God which is sharper than a double edged sword. And while we're at it, let's learn some Scripture ourselves.

Here are a couple resources if you are interested in helping your children memorize Scripture:
G.T. and the Halo Express- www.gthalo.com
Children Desiring God, Fighter Verse Program- www.childrendesiringgod.org/resources/resource.php?id=2

A Bunch of Thoughts

2010-06-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

I need to blog, but I don't have any one particular topic rolling around in my head, so I guess I'll just write down all the little snippets.

-I bought Derek a leash today. We are headed to an amusement park on Monday with the youth group, and after Derek threw fits about sitting in the stroller in the mall I figured he's not going to be any more inclined to sit in a stroller at an amusement park. Today I read on Facebook that leashes are "for lazy parents who don't exercise and can't keep up with their children." I walk 5 miles every single day. Believe me, I can keep up with my child. What I don't like are shrill screaming fits because he doesn't want to sit in the stroller, or him dropping to his knees every foot and a half because he's ticked that he has to hold my hand. Besides, when he holds my hand he has to hold his arm way up to reach me, and would you want to walk around with your arm in the air all day? I think not. So, I bought a leash. I think it makes me a responsible mother who wants to start teaching her son about freedom with limits. If you think it makes me lazy then I will gladly accept your criticism and say sweetly to my son right in front of you, "Awwwww Derek, look at the judgy lady(/man). Isn't she cute when she's being condescending? I can be adorable when I'm being condescending too!" Ok, I won't really say that, but I'll think it!

-We are going to Hawaii soon. I am so excited!!! I have a lot to do to get ready to go. Yikes!

-I read an article today from a natural parenting source (that I do respect mostly actually) about glucose testing. It said that glucose testing is ridiculous and that Gestational Diabetes is a crock of crap. Tell that to my two close friends who have had GD. Tell that to the one of them for whom it didn't go away after pregnancy. Tell her that GD is a load of nonsense. Sometimes I have to shake my head and move on to the next topic on that site.

-I love the Liberty Mutual Insurance commercials that show strangers doing random acts of kindness for each other. There should be more of that in the world, especially from Christians.

Ok, I'm out of thoughts for the night, but at least I put something on the page right? :)

Memorial Day

2010-05-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

So, Memorial Day tomorrow has me thinking about my grandparents. My mom's parents were amazing. I have such awesome memories of them. Fishing off my grandpa's boat and eating lunch on the dock. Grandma pressing a $20 into my little hand before we left for the airport and whispering "don't tell your mother!" with a smile on her face. The basket on the coffee table that was ALWAYS filled with candy. Not the nasty hard candy either, the good stuff like peanut butter Twix and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and mini Nestle Crunch bars. Yum! The house that was always warm and in the old days smelled like cigarette smoke, and in the latter days smelled just faintly like the smoke but more like the roast in the rotisserie oven. Even the TV always being on is a fun memory. It was the only time we were allowed to watch TV all day, and CABLE at that!! :) I remember the bed in the middle room. The middle room used to be a dining room in the compartmentalized style of those little saltbox houses. It still had a dining room table in it, but it was never used. The bed in there was one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on. And, I could see the TV from the door at the end of the bed that was always open a crack. As a kid I would lay at the opposite end of the bed and watch it until I was too tired to watch anymore. :) There were trophy fish mounted on the walls. There was a pretty little (ok, not so little, but in comparison with some of the others it was) blue fish that I wish I had. For some reason I liked that fish. It was my favorite. I loved lunches from Wegman's that Grandma would go with us to get. She would always make sure we got to Bill Gray's and Abbott's. SUPER YUM! I remember her saying at Abbott's "forget my diabetes! I'm having some frozen yogurt!" Haha! I remember Grandpa's huge metal belt buckles with deer or fish on them. He would always forget to take them off at the airport and would set the metal detector off. I remember the way he would say "hi honey!" to me and my sister. They were the same words Grandma would say but said totally different. I remember the flat feeling in my heart the day I was told Grandpa had lung cancer. It was not a surprise, he had been a heavy smoker, but it was horrible nonetheless. I remember the last time I saw him. Spring break (March??) 1999. I was 15. I wanted to go to Florida and was mad I had to be in New York. I will never fully forgive myself for that. The cancer was spreading and he was sometimes not in his right mind. I remember talking about going to Wegman's for lunch and him saying "Barbecue? We're having barbecue??" And Grandma, lol, just went off; "We're not having barbecue!! Who said anything about barbecue? Nobody said anything about barbecue!" We had to laugh or we would cry. We still laugh about it. I remember the day I found out he died. I was at school. Mom and Dad didn't call me to tell me. I happened to call after school to ask a question and pulled it out of Dad. I cried in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I'm sure people thought I was crazy or something. I don't remember much about Grandpa's funeral. I remember thinking that his casket was so "him". I remember the internment being so final. I remember Grandma looking frantically for Aunt Sandy who's headstone had been accidentally covered by the green fake turf carpet spread over the opening of Grandpa's grave. We pulled back the carpet so Grandma could see her oldest daughter, and could be assured Grandpa was being buried in the right place. I remember how three years after Grandpa died, Grandma got on a plane for the first time in many many years and flew out to see me graduate from high school. It was June 2002. It was so precious. When it was time for her to leave the ticketing agent at the airport asked me if I wanted a special pass so I could accompany her to the gate. (This was after 9/11 so the rules had changed.) I got to go to the gate with her and sit with her until they boarded her onto the plane. Just her and me time. She pressed a $20 into my hand as they were wheeling her away and advised "don't tell your mother." :) 5 months later Dad called me at college to tell me she had passed suddenly. The tears came freely. They still do when I think about it. So did the words "I see the Lord seated on the throne, exalted. And, the train of His robe fills the temple with glory!" I thought that is what Grandma is seeing right now!! How blessed is she! I also barely remember Grandma's funeral. I remember "Old Rugged Cross." The song still brings tears to my eyes. I remember the rain the next day during the internment. It was very fitting. I remember pulling back the green carpet to make sure Aunt Sandy and Grandpa were there and that we were burying her in the right place. It's what she would have wanted done. I wish I could go this year and lay flowers on their graves. Oh how I miss them. They would have loved Nathan. They would have adored Derek. They would have pressed $20's into his little hand and told him not to tell me. They would have kissed his little dimples. He would have called them grandma great and grandpa great. Someday he will see them in heaven I am convinced of it. But for now he will hear stories about them so that he will know that they lived and that they were loved by their oldest granddaughter. They were both World War II vets, but that is not how I remember them. This is how I remember them, how I will always remember them.

Baby(not so)Wise

2010-05-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

I forget if I have mentioned the dangers of the book On Becoming Babywise in this blog or not. It has been linked to failure to thrive infants, and other developmental issues. The Christian Research Counsel has published an article regarding the dangers of Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo both technically (as far as their sketchy parenting information) and theologically. This is a fantastic article and I highly recommend my Christian parent readers check it out!

The Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International

How Great is our God!!!!

2010-05-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

If you want to know how great God is, just ask these people!!!

Bill and Cara whose daughter Sophia Grace was born this month
Brian and Marci whose son Elijah Sullivan was born this month (the same day as Sophia!)
Bryan and Rachel whose son Elijah Timothy was born this month

Praising God for the blessing of children!!!!

An Informed Decision

2010-05-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

Before Derek was born I asked Nathan a seemingly no-brainer question. "Are we going to have him circumcised? Nathan answered "of course." It was the answer I expected, and quite honestly the answer I wanted. First of all, Nathan has Jewish heritage so I was fairly certain that Nathan was going to want Derek circumcised for that if no other reason. Second of all I was under the impression that it's healthier for boys to be circumcised. I had been told that there are all sorts of things that could go wrong if a boy is left uncircumcised. Urinary tract infections, cancer, fungal growth ect. I thought "yuck!" I didn't want my son to get an infection. I also thought that it was just something that you did with your boys. After all, Nathan is circumcised and so was every other boy born to our friends recently so I thought it was something you just did.

Then, Derek was born. In the hospital they gave me an information sheet about circumcision along with the consent form I had to sign. I wish I read that information sheet. Here is what the information sheet said (I have bolded the parts that are important):

"What are some of the medical reasons for circumcision?-
-May lower the risk of infection. Such infections are rare and usually easy to treat.
-May lower the risk of cancer of the penis. This is a rare cancer and proper care will work as well to prevent.
-May lower the risk later in life of getting or passing on sexually transmitted diseases. But more studies need to be done on this.
-Will prevent certain problems that can affect the foreskin. These problems are rare.

"What are some of the medical reasons against circumcision?
-The foreskin is not an accident of nature. It helps protect the tip of the penis against irritation and scarring though scarring is rare.
-The surgery is painful. Pain medication can be used but there is a risk of side effects.
-The surgery is permanent.
-The surgery has some risks

"What are the risks of circumcision?
-As with any surgery there is a risk of bleeding, infection and unforeseen problems.
-In rare cases too much or too little of the foreskin can be removed.
-A band of scar tissue may form on the penis."

That was the information sheet given to me by the HOSPITAL! They were more than willing to do the surgery, but the whole time they were giving me reasons not to do it. I wish I had listened. In my quest to be a more informed parent I have discovered that I have made a terrible mistake that I cannot take back.

When they took Derek for the surgery they asked if I wanted to accompany him. Something in the back of my brain told me that I didn't want to go. That should have been my first clue. My maternal instinct to protect my son from the certain excruciating pain should have kicked in, but it didn't. Instead I sent Nathan with him so that he didn't have to go alone. Hearing Nathan describe what happened when they returned made me cry. Even then I didn't get it. I still thought I had done what was best for my son.

I know better now. I have done a lot of research, and I have to give credit to the Peaceful Parenting blog for setting me on the path to informed decision making. Here are some facts about the foreskin that I bet you didn't know!

-The penis was never meant to be a dry organ. The foreskin is intended to keep the head of the penis moist.
-The foreskin prevents the desensitization of the penis head. This creates a better sexual experience.
-The foreskin maintains optimal temperature and PH balance.

There is so much more to post about the case against circumcision. For example, the routine circumcision of boys didn't start until the Cold-War era. Ironically the same time that formula feeding was normalized. Interesting huh? As for the Jewish argument, well, my response to that is this: we live under the New Covenant, we are free in Jesus Christ of the Old Law. Just as Jews and Gentiles alike do not have to follow the old dietary rules, so we do not have to follow the old rules of separation. We are made separate from the world by the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, not by mutilating a part of our bodies. Also, if an intact penis is properly cared for there is no more chance of infection than there is with a cut penis. Proper care includes wiping the intact penis down like a finger and NEVER retracting the foreskin. Many doctors will tell parents of intact boy to do this. Be informed. Only clean what is seen!!!! The foreskin is fused until sometime around adolescence when it will retract on its own. Then you must teach your son to retract it and clean it in the shower.

So bearing all that in mind I have on my to do list to write a letter of apology to my sweet Derek for making the decision to remove a part of his body that I did not have a right to take. And I have made the decision, and Nathan is in full agreement with me, that any future sons will be left intact. God doesn't make mistakes, and He didn't make a mistake when He created the foreskin.

Upset Tonight...

2010-05-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

I am upset tonight. I am upset that a person that our family cares about is hurting and the person who is hurting her doesn't care. I am upset that the hurt person is just a kid and the person hurting her is an adult and should know better. I am upset that the adult can't see past their own selfish sin enough to give a crap about anything. I am upset that no one is doing ANYTHING about it. I am upset that I have to pretend to be nice to this adult because I am not in the position to say anything when I know about the rampant unrepentant sin going on. I am upset and I hope I don't see this adult any time soon because nothing that will come out of my mouth will be nice.

What I am Afraid of...

2010-04-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

I attended the Bethlehem Baptist Women's Conference this weekend. Let me first say that I am so very very grateful to my husband for agreeing to spend the weekend with Derek so that I could fly to Minnesota for this conference. What a blessing you are to me, Love!

The theme of the conference this year was "You are Mine... do you believe it?" It was about fear. I blogged a little while ago about my fear regarding having another child. The question was posed to us, "what are you afraid of?" Here is my lengthy list:

- I am afraid of tornadoes

-I am afraid of potatoes that have grown roots (don't ask it's weird I know)

-I am afraid of spiders

-I am afraid of change

- I am afraid of the unknown

-I am afraid of failure

-I am afraid that I am inadequate in terms of being a wife, a mother, and a child of God

-I am afraid of being alone

-I am afraid of my own sinful nature and the pull that it has on my life

-I am afraid of spiritual attacks from the evil one and the father of lies that cause fear.

Some of these are pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things. Tornadoes are certainly cause to be afraid, but spiders? Really? And how about those potatoes with roots? I mean come on! But the others are deep fears rooted in sin. Here is how I combat those fears.

Speak the truth to counteract the lies that cause the fears. The best way to do this is to continually speak Scripture to yourself. This is why Scripture memorization is so important. Some of my favorite "fear" verses are as follows:

Psalms 56:3 "When I am afraid I will trust in you."

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Hebrews 13:6 "So we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid; what can man do to me?'"

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Psalm 27:1 "The is my Light, and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

There are so many more verses I could give but these are some of my favorites. I use them to speak truth to myself when I am afraid.

-When I am afraid of change: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

- When I am afraid of the unknown: "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

-When I am afraid of failure: "So we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my helper I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:6

-When I m afraid of being inadequate: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

-When I am afraid of being alone: "So do not fear for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

-When I am afraid of my sinful nature: "When I am afraid I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

-When I am afraid of spiritual attack: "But the Lord is faithful and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 2 Thessalonians 3:3

The truth of Scripture trumps all fear. So thank you Lord, for being a God of faithfulness who gives your children the courage to overcome their fears. Thank you for winning the battle so that when we meet you in Heaven there will be no more fear!

Biblical Parenting

2010-04-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

My good friend sent me this information shortly after I posted about the Pearls' book. She is reading a book called Grace Based Parenting (I'm sorry I cannot for the life of me get my computer to italicize this.) by Dr. Tim Kimmel. Dr. Kimmel has a family ministry called Family Matters that seems to be pretty good. I will include a link below. Just in case anyone wants an alternative to the Pearls' horrible teaching!

www.familymatters.net

Have You Ever....

2010-04-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

Remember that game as a kid where you had to stand or sit in a circle and someone in the middle says "have you ever (insert something you have done)?" and if you have done it you had to get up and switch seats with everyone else who had also done it. If you didn't get a seat, you had to stand in the middle and say "have you ever.....?" I loved that game. The worst part of it was all the kids would try to find the most exciting or amazing thing they had ever done, and it usually was somewhere they had traveled. I almost always had to get up and move. "Have you ever been to New York!" Sarah gets up and moves. "Have you ever been to Florida!" Sarah gets up and moves. "Have you ever been to Hawaii!" Sarah gets up and oh guess what, she's the only one up. Now I'm stuck in the middle cuz the only other kid who has been to Hawaii is in the middle already. Now it's my turn, so keeping in trend I say something like "Have you ever been to France!" No one moves. grrrrrrrr

Anyway, that's not really the point of this post, although it is kinda funny. The point of this post is to ask my readers some "have you ever" questions!! I will ask the question and then explain the story of how it happened to me!

-Have you ever gotten sun poisoning?

I did the summer of 2004. I went to South Carolina to visit Nathan in June and we went to Isle of Palms for a day. Neither of us wore sunscreen the WHOLE day and the next day I was burned to a crisp and sooooo sick all I could do was sit on the couch and moan in pain and nausea. It sucked. The upside was that when the burn turned brown I looked FANTASTIC! :)

-Have you ever read another religion's book (like the Koran or the Book of Mormon) just because you wanted to know what it said?

I found a copy of the Book of Mormon next to a Gideon Bible in a hotel room once and I took it with me and read it because I wanted to know what it said. I won't give a book report of it though.

-Have you ever been told you were a crappy parent?

I was told by a complete stranger in the mall that I was a crappy parent for giving Derek formula. *eye roll*

-Have you ever pretended you aren't very hungry while a guest at someone else's house because you seriously don't like what was for dinner? You would rather have gone hungry till breakfast than eat it?

I can't tell you whose house I was at, but the food was laden with things I hate. There were just too many elements to pick out so I pretended I wasn't hungry at all. Then I made Nathan go through a drive through on the way home cuz I was ravenous! He thought it was hilarious.

Okay guys, now it's your turn to answer!!!!! (At least you don't have to worry about getting stuck in the middle!)

Biblical Parenting

2010-04-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was perusing the shelves of the small Christian bookstore in our town and I was chacking out the parenting section (cause I need all the help I can get! Haha!). There was a book on the shelf called To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debbie Pearl. I shuddered. For those who aren't aware the Pearls run a website and "ministry" called No Greater Joy. It's awful. These are the types of people who advocate spanking for every and any offense. Recently a 5 year old daughter of parents who closely follow the Pearls' teachings was beaten to death. The autopsy performed reported that she died from complications due to the blunt force trauma she received from being repeatedly beaten with rubber hose. Isn't that awful? I left their book on the shelf. I would encourage you all to do the same. I do however have some excerpts from their book that I'd like to post here for you all to chew on. Some of these things are truly terrible.

1) The Pearls recommend whipping infants only a few months old on their bare skin. They describe whipping their own 4 month old daughter (p.9). They recommend whipping the bare skin of "every child" (p.2) for "Christians and non-Christians" (p.5) and for "every transgression" (p.1). Parents who don't whip their babies into complete submission are portrayed as indifferent, lazy, careless and neglectful (p.19) and are "creating a Nazi" (p.45).

2) On p.60 they recommend whipping babies who cannot sleep and are crying, and to never allow them "to get up." On p.61 they recommend whipping a 12 month old girl for crying. On p.79 they recommend whipping a 7 month old for screaming.

3) On p.65 co-author Debi Pearl whips the bare leg of a 15 month old she is babysitting, 10 separate times, for not playing with something she tells him to play with. On p.56 Debi Pearl hits a 2 year old so hard "a karate chop like wheeze came from somewhere deep inside."

4) On p.44 they say not to let the child's crying while being hit to "cause you to lighten up on the intensity or duration of the spanking." On p.59 they recommend whipping a 3 year old until he is "totally broken."

5) On p.55 the Pearls say a mother should hit her child if he cries for her.

6) On p.46 the Pearls say that if a child does obey before being whipped, whip them anyway. And "if you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher." "Defeat him totally." On p.80 they recommend giving a child having a tantrum "a swift *forceful* spanking." On the same page they say to whip small children on their bare skin until they stop screaming. "Don't be bullied. Give him more of the same." They say to continue whipping until their crying turns into a "wounded, submissive whimper."

7) On p.47 they recommend their various whips, including "a belt or larger tree branch" to hit children.

8) The Pearls recommend pulling a nursing infant's hair (p.7), and describe tripping their non-swimming toddler so she falls into deep water (p.67). They recommend ignoring an infant's bumped head when he falls to the floor, and ignoring skinned knees (p.86). They also say "if your child is roughed-up by peers, rejoice." (p.81) And on p.103 the Pearls say if children lose their shoes, "let them go without until they (the children) can make the money to buy more."
(From www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com)

Doesn't this just make your hair curl? Much of the stuff on their website is just as bad. There are seeds of wisdom in the fact that they are advocating disciplining your child. I'm not against spanking, but I like Dr. Dobson's approach much better that there are certain times and offenses that require spanking, but they are grave and serious offenses, not piddly little things that are just part of your child learning boundaries.

If you have this book read with caution!!!!!

Fear

2010-04-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I'm afraid. Maybe I should start at the beginning....

One of my besties who actually lives in the same state as me (few and far between these days) is pregnant with their second child. Their first is a month younger than Derek. I am SOOOOO stinking happy for them!!! Her DH asked Nathan about a week after they found out when we were thinking of having another baby. Nathan very wisely answered "not for a while." Now since my friend and I were pregnant together the first time her being pregnant without me got me thinking about why I don't feel ready to have another baby. I've come up with all sorts of good reasons.

Derek is only 14 months. I mean come on! I don't want them THAT close together.
Life is just starting to get REALLY good with Derek, I'm not sure I want to bring a newborn in yet.
I hated the newborn stage. Not in a hurry to do that again.

But the main reason is this: I'm afraid. I'm afraid to lose this awesome stage that I am at with Derek. I'm afraid of losing my bond with him. I'm afraid I won't be able to love a new baby as much as I love Derek. If having Derek changed my life this much how much more will a new baby change stuff. I don't like change. There are times when I yearn for my pre-child life, and I hate those times because I know I would never trade in my sweet son for ANY of that old life... but still sometimes I remember how easy life used to be. Will I long for my one child days when I have two? Is that fair to my children???? I don't know. I have a tendency to fear the unknown. So there you have it folks; the real reason I am in no hurry to add to our little family of three. Now, please don't ask me about it! :)

Car Seat Safety

2010-04-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

I posted last August about car seat safety, but I think I've garnered some new readers since then. I'm linking a few sites about car seat safety for those interested. Also, I cannot urge moms of older babies enough to consider Extending Rear Facing (ERF). Although the law (in most if not all states) says that you may turn your baby forward at one year and 20 pounds (must meet both requirements), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises that you wait until 2 years old to turn the car seat around. The reason for this is that the bone structure of young toddlers is still soft and pliable and because they are still developing their skeletal systems many bones and joints have not fused together at one year. If a car accident was to occur with a one year old forward facing they are at great risk of severing the spinal cord or internal decapitation. Yes, internal decapitation!!! Yikes people!!!

The most common objection to ERF goes something like this, "where will my child's legs go? Won't they break in an accident?" In fact there have been no documented cases of broken legs, or hips in ERF children involved in a car crash. So, this argument is pointless. Your child's legs will not break, and even if they did, I'd rather have a child with two broken legs who's alive versus a child who was internally decapitated and is dead.

Also, remember that user error is also common in car seat usage. Many many parents do not tighten the straps tight enough. You should not be able to pinch the strap between two fingers at the child's shoulder. For rear facing the straps should be threaded into the seat slightly below the child's should height. For forward facing they should be threaded at or above the child's shoulder level. The chest clip should be exactly at armpit height, NEVER above or below this level. I recently discovered someone using their 5 point car seat harness as a 3 point harness. Not cool. If you don't use your car seat the way it was designed to be used it will not protect your child the way it was designed to protect him or her. Remember that if you use the LATCH system on your vehicle to anchor your car seat, don't use a seat belt as well. Again, your car seat was designed to be used EITHER with the LATCH system OR the seat belt. Using both will cause the car seat to malfunction in the event of an accident. If your child is old enough to be turned forward facing (at least 2 years old) make sure you tether the car seat. Also keep in mind that most LATCH systems were only designed to be used with children up to 40 pounds. If your child is over 40 pounds switch from using the LATCH to a seat belt.

Ok, anything else I'm sure you can get from these links!!

prayerofhannah.blogspot.com/2009/06/rewind-to-car-seat-safety.html

www.cpssafety.com
www.nhtsa.gov
www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm (To find a safety seat installation inspector near you!)
www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm

Dear Drivers,

2010-03-20T18:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Drivers in the small town I live in,
I just want to clear the air so that you all can stop giving me dirty looks while we are driving. I am a city driver. This means that when the light turns green, and I am turning left, I will inch into the intersection. I am not cutting you off. I am ensureing that I will be able to turn on this light just in case you are slow. I do not stop at yield signs unless there is a reason to. If I have a yield sign and there is a car coming, fair enough I need to stop. But if there is no traffic, I will not be stopping. So there's no use honking at me from behind and gesturing wildly at the sign. It is not a stop sign and I haven't done anything wrong. You shouldn't stop either unless there is traffic to yield to. Just because I am from the city does not mean I come equipped with x-ray vision. A blind intersection is still a blind intersection to me. When I come up to the intersection I will stop a little back or creep just a little forward to see around the obstacle. Again, there is no need to honk at me from behind if I stop a little back. I'd like to see any oncoming traffic so as not to endanger my life or the life of my child. Thanks. There's no need to honk at me if my nose creeps out a little either. I am not stupid. I will not just pull out into an intersection when I can't see. And if perchance I don't see you and start to go, and then I do see you and stop suddenly, there's no need to slow down in 10 mph just so you can be sure to give the dirtiest look possible. I saw you, I stopped. Keep going. Nothing to get upset about. And finally, when I'm backing out of a parking space and you come around the corner and I see you and stop, then PLEASE don't honk at me. YOu weren't there, then you were and I stopped. It just makes you a jerk to honk at me after I'm already stopped and waiting for you.
Thanks for your understanding,
Sarah

Joy

2010-03-05T10:58:00.000-08:00

Nathan mentioned to me this morning that he read on a friend's facebook status a quote that sid something along the lines of "people who are only living for adventure and thrill in life need to realize that following Jesus is the greatest adventure of all." or something like that. You know basically what I'm talking about. Anyone who has been a Christian for any amount of time has heard something like that before. The thing I hate about sayings like this is that they imply that life is all about thrill and adventure seeking. I tend to be a person that lives for thrills. Not the skydiving, bungee jumping, extreme hiking thrill; but the thrill of something to look forward to in a day. Going out to dinner or going to the park. I love being able to look forward to hanging out with friends, or a big event that's not too far away. There's nothing I hate more than waking up in the morning to discover that I have nothing on my calendar. Days spent cooped up at home with a 13 month old are less than enjoyable for me. Plus, when I spend the day at home that means I have no excuse not to do the dreaded house work. Days spent at home are a drudgery for me. This shouldn't be!!!! Proverbs 31 describes the house wife as a woman who does the work cheerfully. And the housework really isn't bad at all compared to the days I spent woring at the hotel. (Ugh!) So, where is my joy? Why am I only looking for joy in the here and now and not in the eternal. Parenting my son is eternal, being a good wife to my husband is eteranl. Going out to dinner isn't.

"Oh Lord, focus my mind and heart on You so that I may be eternally minded. Help me to find joy in the everyday life I live, and let my heart be cheerful and pleasing to You!"

Sick?? (A bit of a vent)

2010-03-02T20:07:00.000-08:00

I just had to add this, I know I already posted today, but this is my blog and there's no law that says you can't post twice in one day right? :)

On another blog I frequent (I won't say which one and no it's not listed on the side of my page) the writer posed the question: "How do you react when your kid tells you they are sick?" I was SHOCKED by the majority of parents saying that they would have very little sympathy on a sick kid. One parent responded with this little gem:

"I tell them to get going or they will miss the bus. But I am sick. You can be sick at school. Hookey is for when you are well."

WHAT????? Seriously parents??? When my Derek is sick we spend the day in our pajamas drinking juice and watching Baby Signing Time. It's one thing if your school age kid is faking because they have a test or something, but if you are a parent worth your weight in salt you will know if your kid is faking it. I simply cannot imagine EVER telling my kid to suck it up. If your kid is sick, he is SICK! Let him stay home! If for no other reason than not to infect MY kid!!!!!

What is up with parents expecting more out of our kids than we expect out of ourselves??????

Thinking ahead... A lot

2010-03-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

Seeing as how I don't have children who are at the age where I can assign them chores, this post may seem a bit irrelevant for me, but it's not. The issue crops up in children's books and in conversations with other parents, and even in movies. I'm talking about chores and allowance. More specifically what is an allowance for and why should or shouldn't children receive it.

There seems to be two primary arguments for not giving children allowance. The first is that they should do their chores simply because they are part of the family. They should not be paid for doing them. The second is the parents saying "my child has what he needs and he does not need any money." They cite several reasons that I've heard for not giving the child an allowance in this second argument. I've heard parents say, "It's my money and my child doesn't need it," "I don't want my child to learn to value money. It's not that important," "My child doesn't need to learn how manage money until he's older," things of that nature.

There are a couple reasons I don't understand either argument. For the first one my question is simply this, why wouldn't you pay your child a small allowance as a reward for doing his required chores? Ok, I get it, chores are a part of life. But so is work. You go to work to earn money. I mean, how well would it fly with you if your boss said to you "you should do your work and do it perfectly simply because you're part of the company. We shouldn't have to pay you to do it." It wouldn't fly with me that's for sure. Neither does it fly with me that I should expect my child to do his chores with little to no motivation other than "you're part of this family." If my dad had said that to me my response would have been something along the lines of "yippee freakin' skippee." For sure children should be taught to help cheerfully and out of the goodness of their hearts on top of their listed chores, but there's nothing wrong at all with paying or rewarding a child for completing their required chores on time (provided they are done well).

The second argument just sounds ridiculous to me. There is no reason your child shouldn't start learning about the value of money at a young age. And if you as a parent just provide whatever they want or need for them without them having to learn to work for it is just a bad idea. That's how you get spoiled children who don't know the value of a dollar. In my opinion anyway.

What do you think about allowances?

Welcomem Baby Jadon!!!

2010-02-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

I've decided to go ahead and continue my trend of announcing births on my blog. With that said, I want to welcome Baby Jadon Josiah to the world! He was born at 8lbs. 6 oz. and 22 inches long!!! The proud parents are Chris and Heather! I got to meet him this afternoon and he is soooo cute!!!! Congratulations Chris and Heather!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

2010-02-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my sweet son!!! Derek, you are the best thing that has happened to this family! You are so sweet and loving. You never hesitate to give a hug or a kiss even though you would rather play. You love to be held my mommy and love to build couch cushion forts with Daddy. You are so smart too! You can already say "car" and "cat" and "Mama" and "Dada." You know what an airplane is and bring your toy airplane to me when I ask you where it is! You can sign "milk, " "all done," "eat," "cracker," "water," "please," "thank you," "car," "ball," "socks," and "train." You love to watch your Baby Signing Time videos and I love that they help you learn! You love to play with Piper and are always quick to give him some pets or a kiss. You even love Calvin, even though he doesn't like you too much! :) You help Mommy with the laundry by putting the clothes into the laundry basket. Such a good helper! You are a good listener. If you understand what Mommy is asking you to do, you obey. You are so strong. I remember how you rolled over when you were 2 weeks old! You crawled when you were 5 months old, and you started walking when you were 10 months old! You have always been ahead of the game when it comes to your motor skills and your verbal skills are coming right along too!! You are smiley and happy and you make other people smile when you wave at them from the cart at Walmart. You are such a special boy and I am so glad that God gave you to me. Here's the lullaby I sing to you every night. I love you sweet son! May you stay sweet and grow strong in the Lord!!

"Today will soon be over,
Tomorrow will arrive.
Right now I'm going to hold you
until you close your eyes.
Words can't always sum up the feelings that I feel.
So peaceful when you're sleeping, I know you'll hear me still,

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

Exactly what I wanted, exactly who you are.
I know we'll work together and we will reach the stars.
Families stick together and family lasts forever.
Forever, that's how long I'll love you.

Singing, 'you are very special to me. And I am very special to you.
I know this is where I am meant to be!!
I'm glad that my baby is you.'

I know you are God's perfect gift to me!!!
I'm so glad that my baby is you!!!!!"
(Two Little Hands music)

Reflections....

2010-01-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

So, Derek is about to turn a year old here in two weeks, and it boggles my mind how fast this past year has gone by. There are a few reflections I have and a few things I've learned that I thought I'd write down, mostly because I haven't blogged in a few weeks and I should post something! Haha! Okay, here we go:

Things I've learned over this past year:
1. Trust your Mommy instincts. I had suspected that something was up with Derek's digestive system for weeks before he started screaming non stop. Everyone told me he was fine, but I was not convinced. After receiving an Acid Reflux diagnosis and receiving Zantac he was fine and had outgrown the issue within 2 months.

2. New moms are actually grateful for advice from other relatively new moms. I could not get enough advice from young women I knew/know who had just had a baby right before me. They were still in the same stage as me, yet a couple of steps ahead and I valued their advice so much!! They also gave me hope that things would work themselves out. (Note: I didn't follow all the advice I received, but I was grateful to receive it.)

3. The nurses and "lactation consultants" in the hospital that try to force your baby to breastfeed while he screams and refuses to latch are NOT helpful. I'm convinced I was sabotaged because Derek wasn't allowed to figure it out on his own, and then I was sent home from the hospital with strict instructions to supplement him with formula. It was only 7 weeks before we were totally formula feeding. It has been a good thing for us, don't get me wrong. Derek and I bonded just fine and Nathan has LOVED being able to bond with him too that way.

4. You don't HAVE to wash baby clothes in Dreft.

5. While the rule of thumb for dressing babies (same as you plus one extra layer) is a good rule of thumb, it is only a rule of thumb and not all babies conform. Derek would be BOILING in his car seat last winter under only a long sleeve onesie, sweatshirt, sweatpants and socks. He had a cover on his infant seat to keep him warm and that thing did a GREAT job! I went to dressing him in only sweatpants or jeans and a long sleeve onesie. However, it still bugs me when I watch moms drag their babies around in frigid winter weather with no coat, no hat, and *gasp* no socks! I mean frigid, like below freezing. Then they complain to me that their child has a perpetual cold. Well duh.

6. Just because a baby spits up on you does not mean you have to change your clothes. I believed I did at first and I started running through shirts like water in your morning shower. After a few weeks I said "forget it" and started carrying shout wipes in the diaper bag. They take away the stain AND the smell of spit up. Shirt saved!

7. I wanted to buy only organic or natural products for Derek... until I saw how much they cost. Then I decided that I was just fine eating regular food, and he would be too. We are all going to get cancer one way or another anyway.

8. You can plug all the outlets, gate every stairway, close every door, put away every semi-dangerous item and your older baby will still find something to choke on. Derek choked on a chunk of cat hair he found under the couch. Luckily I finger swept it out. Now that the first choking is over, I feel better. I'm not in dread of it. Like that Scrubs episode where JD doesn't want to perform any medical procedures because he hasn't killed a person yet and he's terrified of doing it. Then Dr. Cox tells him he actually did kill a patient when he released her before she was ready and he feels better... until JD finds out he really didn't kill her after all........... :)

9. There will always be a mommy friend who doesn't want to hear anything you have to say about parenting. *shrug* oh well. Her loss.

10. It's ok to let your baby explore. I let Derek pull all the DVD's off the shelf and look at them, as long as he doesn't break them. I let him play with the kitten, and rearrange the kitchen chairs. I let him play with my hair and with the light switches and doorknobs, and even the blinds as long as I watch his every move. (There are no blinds that he can reach by himself.)

11. Make sure you keep an eye on your baby while he/she explores. I don't let Derek play with electrical cords, the DVD player, the cable box, or the lamps. This is a "duh" kind of statement, but a lot of parents don't pay attention.

12. It's ok to let Derek watch his sign language videos when he's crabby just to shut him up! It never fails!!!!!! And, there's the added bonus that I can get something done while he's watching it!

13. And the number one thing I've learned about parenting a baby is that every poopy diaper that runs over into a poopy outfit, every spit up, every screaming session, every sleepless night, every early morning, every missed nap, every time I get baby food sprayed in my face, every time he teethes, and every single hard moment is made up for 100 times over every time he plants his little baby lips on mine!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh

2010-01-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

I hate January. Not to start out negative, but I really hate January. January is that boring little stretch of winter after the excitement of Christmas and before the light at the end of the tunnel in February. In Minnesota the light at the end of the tunnel really didn't come around until the end of March, but I'm really hoping that will be different in Kansas. Anyway, I'm not a winter lover. By the time January rolls around I've had enough. Funny since this fall in Kansas was ridiculously warm. It was in the 70's well into November!! But still, here we are in January and I'm like "ugh" already. Usually around this time of year my motivation flies out the window. Most people use January as a fresh start, but for me the year doesn't being until Spring!! I don't make New Year's resolutions. I don't keep them anyway. I make spring resolutions. Those are much more fun!!!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T11:56:00.000-08:00

Well all, Christmas is tomorrow and there is much anticipation and excitement around our house. I am pausing from baking and wrapping presents to write this hoping that it will bring some holiday cheer to you all. This year has been a crazy year for us. Last December just before Christmas I was laid off from my job at the hotel. One year ago we were wondering how we were going to make it through the next few months. Then, the Lord provided for us in the form of unemployment. Unemployment made it possible for me to plan to stay at home full time when our little boy was born in February... which of course brings me to the most joyous happening of all this year. On February 4th we welcomed Derek Bruce into our family. Our first baby! We are so happy that he is part of our family! We could not have asked for a better son. He is so easy going and talkative, and smart. He is 10 months old as I write this and he says "mama" to me and "dada" to Nathan. He says "no" (which I wish he didn't! lol) and "buh buh" for bye bye! He is eating table food (although not for full meals) and loves cracker snacks and Cheerios. He loves his sippy cups with the straws and water. He is smiley and happy obedient and tender hearted. He stands by himself, crawls around the house and plays with the cats. He is just all around a fantastic kid. In July we took a vacation to Illinois to see Nathan's family. We met up with our good friends Nick and Patty and Ben and Jena while on the trip and Derek got to meet his "cousins" Natalie and Kadence. Then on the 4th of July we went out to see Nathan's extended family and Derek got to play with his real cousins Caleb and Isaac. I never had any cousins growing up so I am excited that Derek gets to have them. Caleb is two years older than Derek and Isaac is only 4 months older than Derek, so it's really fun to know that he has a cousin the same age as him! We had a lot of fun in Illinois, but we had another issue to deal with at home. Nathan applied for a job as a youth pastor at a church in Kansas, and after applying for many youth pastor jobs and years of looking for one, we finally got a bite! The church called us to come for a visit, and they offered us the position at the end of our visit. That was a huge decision for us. We decided in August to accept the position, and we moved to Kansas at the end of September. We bought a house and moved into it in November. It is so exciting to own our own place! After renting for the last 4 1/2 years we finally have a place to call our own! It's wonderful!
Well, that has been our year in a nutshell. Amidst all the busyness of the season I want to urge you to take time to reflect upon the reason we celebrate Christmas. I am reminded time and time again as I hold Derek in my arms that Jesus was once a baby just like Derek and was held in Mary's arms just like I hold Derek in mine. Having a baby boy has brought home to me what a wondrous thing the incarnation was. How Jesus humbled himself and gave up His place in Heaven to come to earth as a baby. A helpless little baby. It's amazing. Praise God for His glorious redemption plan!!! Amen and Amen! Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!

Okay Discussion Time!

2009-12-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of writing on here and knowing that people read this but no one ever comments! So here is a post that I want EVERYONE to comment on! Even lurkers (I know you're there!).

Okay, so everybody has their ideas on parenting, even people who don't have kids. I don't care what category you fall into, pick one of the following topics and leave your opinion on a comment!!! :) (Oh, and I will post my opinion below each one in italics so no one can I didn't follow my own advice!)

1. Cry it out. (Letting your baby cry to learn to self soothe.) People call this controversial at best, and the worst thing I've ever heard it called it child abuse. I'm interested to know, did you do it, or would you do it and why or why not.

We are in the process of doing this right now with Derek. I held off for too long. I tend to agree with the camp that says it's okay to do with your older baby (7 months and older) but not your young baby (younger than 6 months). Older babies have object permanence and know that just because you left the room does not mean you no longer exist and they are alone. They know you are still there. They know you will come back and get them in the morning or after nap time is over. They understand that they are supposed to sleep in their cribs and that when they are in their crib and the room is dark they are supposed to sleep. A young baby or a newborn does not understand this. They do not have object permanence. To them when they cannot see you, you do not exist. All they know is that they are lying in a dark room in a big crib and they are scared. It's not okay, in my opinion, to leave your baby in that condition. Also not okay... leaving your baby to cry when you haven't made sure all of his/her basic needs are met (fed, clean diaper etc.).

2. Bottle feeding vs. Breastfeeding. Once again, I've heard bottle feeding called child abuse. So what do you think? Would you choose to bottle feed? Would you use it as a last resort? Or do you fall into the camp that says breast feeding is the ONLY way to feed your baby?

Well, I wanted to breastfeed, and I did for a while.... but it didn't work out for us. Derek was never a good nurser, and after weeks of tough nursing, my milk dried up. So, it was bottle feeding for us. Derek has thrived on it. He has caught up to where he should be in weight and is soooo smart! So for us it has worked. That's not to say I won't try to breast feed again, but if it doesn't work next time, I won't cry about it.

3. Method of birth. Leave your opinion about your preferred method of birth. Are you a home birther, all natural? Or a natural hospital birther? Or even a hospital birther with all the pain meds available? :)

I wanted a natural hospital birth, but after laboring naturally for hours I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but my contractions were so close together I could barely breathe between them. So, after much deliberation I asked for the epidural and after it took effect I had the best birth experience ever! I was able to enjoy Derek's birth, I was able to be involved since I wasn't concentrating on the pain. It was great. I plan to get an epidural next time too!

Okay, your turn!!!!! Comment with your opinion!!!!

Hilarious

2009-12-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

This is for all my parents out there!!!!!

Christmas Guest Blog

2009-12-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I have gained permission from my good friends Jennifer and Aaron to use this post as a guest post on my page. They are in the middle of a journey to embryo adoption. To those unfamiliar with this term it goes something like this:
When a couple chooses to pursue in-vitro fertilization multiple embryos are created and then a few at a time are implanted into the mother's uterus. For many couples once the procedure has worked and they have gotten the number of children they desired, the remaining embryos are forgotten about. They remain frozen in cryogenics indefinitely, or worse yet, the parents give them over to the clinics where they are often killed in the pursuit of embryonic stem cell research. Embryonic adoption offers another alternative to these forgotten children. The embryos are adopted, and then implanted into the adoptive mother's uterus. She carries the child and gives birth just as if she had concieved naturally. This experience is unique because the adoptive mother gets to experience pregnancy and labor and delivery even though the child is not biologically related to her. This option of embryo adoption is also a less expensive and time consuming route than traditional adoption because, unfortunately, it is seen as a transfer of property rather than the adoption of a child. Anyway, this is the journey that Jennifer and Aaron have found themselves on and I am incredibly excited for them, and about embryonic adoption in general. Their story is a touching one and I will include a link to their blog at the end of this post! Thanks so much Jennifer and Aaron for allowing me to re post this!!!!

Christmas Thoughts about Embryo Adoption

Well now that Thanksgiving is over, we are officially into the Christmas season. Of course, working in retail I've been experiencing the Christmas season since September. I'm glad that everyone else is now catching up.

I don't make many blog posts, but I wanted to share something that occurred to me a few days ago as I was thinking about Christmas. I was making my hour commute to work and reflecting on all the activity that Christmas brings to retail and the real reason that we as Christians celebrate the holiday. My mind went to a picture of a Willow Tree nativity that we keep on top of our entertainment center year-round. As I'm passing it, I often like to look at the baby Jesus in Mary's arms and remember how God left many of the privileges of Godhood and humbled himself by entering into the form of a baby. I realize that I've always thought of the beginning of the incarnation in that way: that in a moment in time, God left his throne for a manger.

What occurred to me that morning is that the real beginning of the incarnation didn't happen on Christmas. God didn't enter into humanity on Christmas morning as a baby, he entered it nine months earlier as a human embryo. Matthew 1:18 says that before Mary and Joseph came together, she was "found to be with child through the Holy Spirit." Two verses later, God tells Joseph that "what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." That's Biblical grounds for the existence of life at conception right there, that God equates "what is conceived" to being a child. Doesn't that make the incarnation all the more amazing? Jesus goes from ruling the world in Heaven with his Father and the Holy Spirit and enters into the smallest, most dependent, most microscopic form of human life. I've always known that Jesus has a heart for all unborn children, including those who are frozen as embryos. How much more do I know that now, realizing that the same Saviour who submitted himself to death on a cross for my sake, first submitted himself to a womb.

Even more special to embryo adoption is the fact that this could have been exactly what Mary and Joseph did. Not to get too technical, but we know that Jesus' conception was not of result of Joseph's or any man's sperm. We don't know if the Holy Spirit brought about Jesus' conception by using one of Mary's eggs or if Jesus was conceived as one cell without an egg at all. The latter however, is certainly a possibility and if it true, it means that Mary carried and adopted with Joseph a child who was not biologically related to them. If this happened, then the first embryo adoption happened over 2,000 years ago.

Again, we don't know the specifics of how the Holy Spirit brought about the incarnation, but even if Mary's egg had been used, Joseph adopted a child that his wife carried who was not biologically related to him. Of course, this was a miracle and a unique circumstance, so we can't use it to justify ethically debated forms of reproductive technology that aren't in the realm of embryo adoption. However, we can know for sure that the wonderful truth of the Christmas story includes a couple's commitment to adopt a baby before birth. I know all the more that it is God's desire that all embryo's get a chance at birth. I know this because Jesus was once one.

Here is a link to Jeenifer and Aaron's blog!
http://www.aaronandjennwilson.blogspot.com

The Joy of Giving

2009-12-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

With the holidays on us I have been reflecting a lot on giving lately. This morning the thought hit me: How empty life would be without giving!!! Let me explain: on Saturday we went to the little Christian bookstore here in town looking for the Veggie Tales Christmas movie, The Toy that Saved Christmas. I LOVE that movie, and Derek had grown a love for Veggie Tales while visiting my parents last week. Anyway, they didn't have that movie, but they did have the newest one called St. Nicholas. I was apprehensive at first. I wasn't sure how much Santa Claus lore would be in it, and those of you who have read my blog at all know exactly how I feel about Santa Claus! But, I bought it and took it home anyway. I watched it first without Derek, and guess what... I LOVED it!!! Santa was in it, but it was all about the story of St. Nicholas and how the Santa Claus legend got started. It was also about giving. It really is hearwarming. It resonated with me because my love language is giving gifts. That's how I show people I love them. I realized that my life would be pretty sad without giving. Nothing makes me happier than when I'm asked to donate a dollar to childhood cancer research, the Salvation Army, the Red Cross, or the Make A Wish Foundation. (In my opinion there's no excuse for not donating the dollar. I mean come on, they ask you at the check out. You're already spending money. Donate the flipping dollar!) Anyway, as Christmas approaches I want to really focus on giving. There's a song on the Veggie Tales movie: "I can love because God loves me, I can give because He gave. Jesus' love it why I'm smiling, why I'm giving every day." I'm not talking about just giving gifts at Christmas, I'm talking about giving of myself. Giving up things that make me comfortable for the sake of my family. Giving up my nights when needed for the sake of my son. Giving up my "me time" to clean the house for the sake of my husband. When I do these things, I glorify God with my giving. That's what giving is all about. Glorifying God and following His example of humbling Himself to the point of death. So let's all think about how we can give of ourselves this Christmas!!!!

Statistics are Scary 1

2009-12-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week

This statistic really hits home for me. Nathan has been working in the ministry for... well, ever since I've known him, but really working (i.e. getting paid to do it) for almost 5 years. At first it wasn't so bad. He worked normal hours at a large church and was the Assistant Youth Pastor so he didn't have the same responsibilities the head youth pastor did. We were newly married and I worked with the youth group as well, so when he was at church, I was at church mostly and when I wasn't I was either working or enjoying some alone time at home. Then we went into ministry together at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. We went into that knowing it was going to be a 24/7 job for a whole school year. It was VERY stressful, but we were in it together. Then, we moved again and Nathan started working at a para-church youth outreach organization. That was when it was difficult. I was also working full time at the hotel, and I left for work at 8am and some days I didn't see Nathan until the next morning. I had to be in bed by 10pm to get up on time for work, and on program nights Nathan often didn't get home until after 11pm. Add small group on Wednesday and his second job on Monday and Friday nights, and it became so that we never saw each other at all.

The problem with pastors working this much is that it affects their family life and their own mental well being. A pastor's first ministry is always to his family. A pastor who cannot shepherd his family has no business shepherding a church. This means occasionally he needs to put aside things that may need his attention at work (yes for the pastor church is work) and be at home with his family. He needs to forget about the problems of the congregation member who just spent an hour in his office, and listen to the needs of his wife. He needs to carve out allotted time for sermon preparation and when that time is up leave it and be with his children.

The pastor also needs to realize that he needs time away from work for his own well being. Ministry is demanding even with boundaries. To have no boundaries will inevitably lead to burn out. Once burn out occurs it can take a long time to repair the damage.

The Statistics are Scary

2009-12-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

So I found these statistics about pastors and ministry and as a pastor's wife they really concern me. Why is it that these statistics are the case. Maybe I will try to write a new blog post every day (time permitting) addressing each one. That would be fun right? :) Here are the stats:

Why Pastors Leave the Ministry
by Fuller Institute, George Barna and Pastoral Care Inc.

* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor's children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
* 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.
* 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church .
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor's ministry.
* 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
* Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
* The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
* The profession of "Pastor" is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above "car salesman".
* Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
* Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month , many without cause.
* Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
* Many denominations report an "empty pulpit crisis". They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

#1 reason pastors leave the ministry - Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastor's believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.

Repost

2009-11-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the holidays I'm reposting something I wrote back in April explaining my position on holiday issues.

I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.

Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)

These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.

Holidays

2009-11-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

Once again the holidays are upon us and I am so excited. The past few years, the holidays have felt dull and unexceptional. I think that once you get older Christmas can lose some of the magic if you're not careful. Nathan and I have been incredibly guilty of just cruising through the holidays. That's been partially because of life circumstances. Our first Christmas as a married couple we spent by ourselves with no gifts (or one gift per person) and mainly spent the day dreading working our crazy retail jobs the day after. Three years ago we spent Christmas driving all over the country trying to visit everyone. Insane. Two years ago we both worked high pressure jobs that demanded our full attention. There wasn't a lot of time for holiday reflections. Last year I was VERY pregnant and had been laid off and spent most of the holiday season fighting for my unemployment benefits and sleeping on the couch. We barely got the tree up in time for Christmas. So that brings us to this year. This year will be different. This year the magic is already back. This year we have a child. I am excited beyond words for Derek's first Christmas. I am thrilled that he will be old enough to enjoy Christmas this year. he will have fun ripping paper off of his presents. He will play with the toys he is getting. He will stare at the Christmas tree in wonder. He will watch us build our family traditions this year. We have not placed a lot of emphasis on building our traditions, so this year we feel it is very important to do so. Here are some of the traditions we want to incorporate:
-Reading of the Christmas story and singing of Christmas carols as a family on Christmas Eve (either before or after the Christmas Eve service depending on the time of the service)
-Day after Black Friday decorating (not possible this year because we are not home!)
- Letting Derek put the star on the tree
-Opening each day of the advent calendar
-Saluting Nathan's Jewish heritage with a non-traditional Hanukkah nod
- setting up the nativity set (that we do not have yet!) and explaining the Christmas story to Derek as we do.

There are several traditions that will NOT be part of our holiday too. Things like Santa, and over commercialization have no place in our home. Instead we want our traditions to be Christ centered and family centered. Noel Piper (wife of Pastor John Piper) wrote a book called Treasuring God in Our Traditions that I LOVE and highly recommend to people looking to build family traditions. Anyone interested can find it and other books at this link: http://www.desiringgod.org/Store/Books/ByTopic/All/859_For_Mom/

With all that said, I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving. I am thankful beyond words for my husband who is patient with me and loves me unconditionally; for my son who is the biggest blessing I've ever received and is responsible for growing me in Christ and stretching me. He is beautiful and I love him with all my heart. And above all, I will never stop being thankful to Jesus Christ for what He accomplished on the cross and in His resurrection.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Convention on the Rights of the Child

2009-10-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, my friend Marci sent me this link and I think it's really important for all my parents who read this out there to visit it. It's in regards to the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child, which I understand to be an actual document that would take away parents' rights if ratified in the US. I've copied and pasted below 20 things you need to know about the CRC. Please read!!! It's really pretty scary!

20 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE UN CONVENTION ON THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

Ten things you need to know about the structure of the CRC:

It is a treaty which creates binding rules of law. It is no mere statement of altruism.^1.

Its effect would be binding on American families, courts, and policy-makers.^2.

Children of other nations would not be impacted or helped in any direct way by our ratification.^3.

The CRC would automatically override almost all American laws on children and families because of the U.S. Constitution’s Supremacy Clause in Article VI.^4.

The CRC has some elements that are self-executing, while others would require implementing legislation. Federal courts would have the power to determine which provisions were self-executing.^5.

The courts would have the power to directly enforce the provisions that are self-executing.^6.

Congress would have the power to directly legislate on all subjects necessary to comply with the treaty. This would constitute the most massive shift of power from the states to the federal government in American history.^7.

A committee of 18 experts from other nations, sitting in Geneva, has the authority to issue official interpretations of the treaty which are entitled to binding weight in American courts and legislatures. This effectively transfers ultimate authority for all policies in this area to this foreign committee.^8.

Under international law, the treaty overrides even our Constitution.^9.

Reservations, declarations, or understandings intended to modify our duty to comply with this treaty will be void if they are determined to be inconsistent with the object and purpose of the treaty.^10.

Ten things you need to know about the substance of the CRC:

Children would have the ability to choose their own religion while parents would only have the authority to give their children advice about religion.^13.

The best interest of the child principle would give the government the ability to override every decision made by every parent if a government worker disagreed with the parent’s decision.^14.

A child’s “right to be heard” would allow him (or her) to seek governmental review of every parental decision with which the child disagreed.^15.

According to existing interpretation, it would be illegal for a nation to spend more on national defense than it does on children’s welfare.^16.

Children would acquire a legally enforceable right to leisure.^17.

Christian schools that refuse to teach "alternative worldviews" and teach that Christianity is the only true religion "fly in the face of article 29" of the treaty.^18.

Allowing parents to opt their children out of sex education has been held to be out of compliance with the CRC.^19.

Children would have the right to reproductive health information and services, including abortions, without parental knowledge or consent.^20.

Parents would no longer be able to administer reasonable spankings to their children.^11.

A murderer aged 17 years and 11 months and 29 days at the time of his crime could no longer be sentenced to life in prison.¹²

Citation: from www.parentalrights.org

You can click on the link above to visit the site and see the footnotes for these 20 things as well as get more information!

Kansas

2009-10-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

Well, we arrived in Kansas safely last Monday, and sent my mom home on Tuesday. We are trying our best to get settled in our temporary housing while we wait on our paperwork from the bank to go through on our house. We don't have a closing date yet but I am praying fervently for the end of this month. I feel off tonight. There have been some great times since moving here, but tonight feels sad to me. Derek isn't feeling well, and maybe that's why but tonight I feel like I want to go home more than I have the whole time I've been here. *sigh* Anyway, Derek is definitely getting tooth number two. Stinks cuz he just got tooth number one and I was hoping that he was done for at least a couple weeks. Oh well. Here we go again. I don't have much more to say really. I just thought I'd post an update for all of you back home who read this (and those who aren't at home and read this too!) I'll write more soon, and I hope it will be more interesting!!

Today....

2009-09-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day living in Minnesota. Here are the things I want to do today;

Get cheese curds at Burnsville Center
Ride on the motorcycle with Dad
Take a walk with Mom
Go to the zoo
Take Derek to see the airplanes

Don't know if I'll make it to all these, but I'd like to try!

September...

2009-09-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

Well, September is upon us and with it comes the reality of what I am doing in two weeks. We are packing up our home and moving to Kansas. Nathan accepted a youth pastor position in Kansas and so we are off to a new place to live in two weeks. I cannot lie and say that I am excited. (Sorry everyone from down there reading this!) I have absolutely zero desire to leave Minnesota and leave my parents and sister, and leave my church, and leave my small group and all the friends I have there... I have been living in denial for about a month, but I can't any longer. I have started saying my goodbyes and started doing things for the last time. Last time going to MOA, last time eating at Frankie's, last time going to the Science Museum, last time going to the zoo... so many last times.... I can't even begin to think of what life will be like down there. I imagine that it will be pretty boring at first. Maybe for a long time. I don't know. Really, I do apologize to people from down there who might be reading this. I want you to know that it's nothing against you or your town. I just am having a hard time with leaving. I have never even tried to picture myself living in a small town, and all I can envision is me sitting around my house all day cleaning cooking and taking care of Derek. Also not the life I wanted. I do that here, but I also get the chance to get out besides going to Walmart. I have friends here with kids who go to the zoo with me and mall walk with me in the winter. I just hate losing that. I hate feeling like I'm losing my life. I'm going to miss everything from mall walking with my mom to actually getting date nights with Nathan because I have a babysitter here. I'm not all negative about the move. I mean we have bought a house down there that I really like, but that has done nothing to outweigh the sorrow I feel. I wanna go back to ignoring the impending move. I wanto to go back to having more time. I want to go back to June before all this happened. And now I have nothing more to say. So I'm \just going to end it. Sorry I am so depressing tonight, but this is my blog, and I just had to get my stuff out there. It's driving me crazy just sitting in my head all the time! :)

Parenting advice from People Who Don't Have Kids!

2009-08-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so that title is bad, but this is going to be more about parenting than about the frontal issue. Keep reading, you'll understand.

I was watching the Tyra Show this afternoon. I never watch daytime tv because it's usually all crap, but a teaser for today's show hooked me and I decided to tune in. Part of today's show included a 14 year old girl who has a MySpace page on which she displays risque pictures of herself, has sex with a different boy every Saturday night, may possibly be pregnant and was going to reveal all of this to her mother. They brought her unsuspecting mother out onto the stage and as the girl revealed each secret the mom's perfect plaster face remained unchanged. After a moment the mother asks the inevitable question: "why?" the girl says she doesn't like herself she has low self esteem, she does it to feel wanted loved and beautiful (she sure sounded like a couselor coached her in this answer!) and that she wishes she could have a closer relationship with her mother. The mom says "well I'm not the one who's changed." To which a counselor in the audience replies that instead of taking that approach the mother should reach out to her daughter. Tyra asks what they are going to do when they get home now that all that's out in the open, and the mother responds that there will be punishment along the lines of some grounding and loss of priviledges. Tyra gives the mother this advice: "I actually think that it's very important that she told you the truth. I think your trust in her needs to go up not down because she revealed this to you."

Ok, I want to take a breif look at what's wrong with this whole segment. First of all is the obvious issue. We have a 14 year old girl who is sleeping around, having unprotected sex and may possibly be bringing a baby into the world. A baby having a baby. But what really astounded me about this whole segment was the mother. First of all, she's clueless. She has made some really bad parenting choices. She has allowed her daughter to run amuck on the internet unsupervised. This mother didn't even know that her daughter had a MySpace page. What teenagager doesn't have a MySpace or Facebook page? Instead of becoming involved in her daughter's life, this mother chose the path of detachment and distance. She claimed at one point that she and her daughter had talked about sex and choices. The daughter responded "a long time ago you told me what sex was..." The mother had obviously figured she had done her job and left it at that. The mother demonstrated further cluelessness when she asked, "Why didn't I know about this? How could I have missed this?" The daughter responded "it was easy. I just told you I was going to someone's house overnight." Meaning that clearly the mother never checked to make sure her daughter was where she said she would be. She never called the supposed friend's parents. She never kept her daughter accountable for being where she said she would be. Parents: Don't be this clueless!! Set boundaries for your child's internet activities. Check the history! Make them give you their passwords for email and MySpace and Facebook! The parenting "experts" would have you believe that this is a violation of your child's privacy. It is GOOD PARENTING!!! Make sure your child is where they say they will be. Call the friend's parents to make sure they are aware of weekend plans. Get to know their friends and when possible the parents. Your child will hate you, but you will be involved. When your child has demostrated responsibilty you can reward them by letting out the leash. My point here is don't wait for your daughter to reveal her promiscuity on the Tyra Show. Take preemptive action to make sure your children learn responsible behavior!

What really got me though was Tyra's advice at the end of the segment. The mother indicates that she's going to be a parent (finally) and punish the daughter for her actions and Tyra thinks that instead of that the mother should trust her daughter more. Sure, lady. Let the leash out more. Oh wait, it's already nonexistent. So in other words, now that the daughter has told her mother what's going on, the mother should nod, accept it and allow the daughter to continue life as usual? Sure. That's great advice Tyra. Word to the wise Tyra, you shouldn't EVER give parenting advice when you are childless yourself. You come off as stupid and having no idea what you're talking about!

Update on Campbell

2009-08-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for praying! The surgery went well. The surgeon was ecstatic that the tumor was really easy to remove. She still has a shunt in her brain to relieve excess pressure caused by the tumor, and she will be sedated into tomorrow. So we are very excited by this news. Please continue to pray for Robin and Greg (her parents) and her sisters Caitlin and Caroline!

2009-08-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

HI everyone! Please be in prayer for our little cousin Campbell. She had not been feeling well for about two weeks and had been running a constant fever of 103 or higher. She had been to the doctor several times for several different tests which all came back negative for meningitis and swine flu etc. She was sent home but yesterday she started losing her speech and motor skills. She started vomiting as well. They took her to the ER and she was admitted for more tests. This morning they discovered a golf ball sized malignant tumor in her brain. It is pushing against the part of the brain that controls speech and motor skills, which is why she started losing them. The doctors are optimistic that they will be able to remove the tumor in its entirety with surgery, which will happen tomorrow. My guess is that she will also have to complete chemotherapy after she recovers from surgery. Please pray for her as she endures this. She is only 3 years old, and it is a lot for a young child to bear. Also, pray for her two older sisters, Caitlin and Caroline. They do not yet know about Campbell's condition, so when they find out they will also have a lot to deal with. Please pray for Campbell's parents Greg and Robin. Thanks so much everyone!

Tornadoes and the ELCA

2009-08-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1965_the_tornado_the_lutherans_and_homosexuality/

This morning Pastor John (Piper) published this article on the Desiring God blog and it has generated a firestorm!!!! Pastor John is no stranger to controversy and he finds himself in the thick of it again! Let me share my take of this article and the ideas it presents and I really want to hear what others think (does anyone even read this anymore??) So read the article then read what I wrote below and leave a comment with your thoughts!!!!

First of all, the majority of criticism centers around the idea that the tornado was a warning. The opinion of many people is that it is kind of ridiculous that the tornado would mean anything at all much less be a warning to the ELCA about the content of their convention. My response to this is why not? Why couldn't the tornado be a warning? After all God has used weather to teach lessons in the past, and He controls the weather, so why is it so far out of reach for us to think that He might use a tornado?

Secondly, the rest of the criticism centers around the ELCA and the issue of homosexuality. The problem here is that homosexuality has become so socially acceptable even among the church that people balk at the idea that God might want to warn against accepting it. I don't really want to go into the debate on homosexuality because that's not what this post is about. However, I will say that I am so sad that the mainstream churches of America are choosing to toss aside God's word and go with their own ideas. One day they will know the error of their ways.

So anyway, all in all, I thought this was an amazing post. I am so glad Pastor John wrote it. Even if the tornado wasn't God speaking to us (although I believe in this instance it was) it is something to think about!!

Honest Question...

2009-08-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about an issue that seems to be a huge thing in our culture right now. These thoughts have been running through my head partially because of the moms message board I'm on and partially because of conversations I've had with people. The issue is labor and delivery. It seems that we are obsessed with how, when and where we give birth to our babies, and the debate gets heated!! It starts as a conversation: "Oh when was your baby born?" and turns somehow into a heated argument: "You had medication????" (the horror!) or "you're crazy to give birth at home. The best place is in a hospital!" Since nobody likes to feel like their choices are being insulted, comments like this turn quickly into: "You're so ignorant, you've never even tried a homebirth." or "don't judge me for getting an epidural it's my decision!" and it all spirals into a big mess with hurt feelings. And the crazy part is, it's a useless argument!!!! I mean come on! We've gotten to the point in this argument where moms who had to have c-sections are made to feel as though they are less of a mother than others. They hear things like "oh they took your baby out" and "too posh to push." Let's face it people, mothers who have had c-sections are not any less of a mother just because they didn't push the baby out! They still have a baby at the end. They still have to take care of another human being 24/7 regardless of how the baby got from the uterus to the outside world. Most of the time there is a good reason for their c-section. A lot of the time these women are crushed that they were unable to have a natural birth. They don't need friends family and strangers making it worse by saying or implying ridiculous things like those statements. Women who have epidurals are no less mothers than women who don't. Just because we opted for a pain free delivery does not make us lazy, selfish, or stupid. We made the decision to have a pain free delivery because that's what was best for us at the time. For me, it was not the pain I couldn't bear, it was the exhaustion. I gavae birth to a perfectly healthy baby who scored a 10 on his apgar test! He was not lethargic or anything. I did not have any problems whatsoever with recovery. I never even took an ibuprofen for the pain after delivery because I didn't have any! :) I call the epidural my "happy juice" because I had an AWESOME delivery after my epi. So, we don't need strangers, friends and family telling us that we are lazy and selfish because we chose pain medication. Women who go natural are such strong women!!! They are stronger women than I! I think it's so cool that there are women out there who are determined to experience childbirth the way women for thousands of years experienced it and they stick to it and follow through! Go natural childbirths and homebirths! They don't need family friends and strangers telling them they are crazy! They're not crazy they're strong!!!!!! But even after all of this the bottom line is that we are all mothers no matter how our children got into this world. Isn't a healthy happy baby and healthy happy mommy what really matters here? Let's band together as mommies to support each other rather than tear each other down because of our labor and delivery choices. That's over now and in the past. No matter how your baby was born, you are a kick butt woman cuz you're a mommy!!!!!

Welcome Abigail!!!!

2009-08-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

I want to welcome Abigail Faith to the world!! She was born July 30th at 9pm. She came in at 9lbs 3 oz. and her proud family is Nathaniel, Lisa, and big brother Abraham!! Welcome Abigail!!!!!!

I'm Back!

2009-08-02T18:49:00.000-07:00

So I'm back after a one month hiatus from blogging. I don't know what happened to the month of July but it went by so fast with everything going on that I didn't even have time to blog!!!! We went to Illinois the first week of the month and spent some time there with Nathan's parents. It was good to be away from the hubub of city life, but it was busy week in and of itself! We drove down on a Wednesday and went to visit old friends on Thursday, to Nathan's aunt and uncle's on Friday, into Chicago on Saturday and finally on Sunday we got a chance to rest!! This was all while I was trying to recover from my wrist surgery! It was very painful at first, but by the end of the second week I was feeling much better. I wasn't able to care for Derek at all the fist week, and the beginning part of the second week. I felt so bad, but I tried to play with him a ton and let him know that I was still around! Nathan was so great helping me and my mom and sister helped a lot too!! So anyway, the rest of the month is pretty much a blur and now it is August. Derek will be 6 months old on Tuesday. I cannot believe how fast this time is going!

Guest Post

2009-06-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

This is a guest posting by my husband. Check out the rest of his blog by clicking on the link!!!

King of kings vs. king of pop

It is a sad day when a 50 year old man dies leaving behind three kids, an estranged wife, sisters, brothers, both parents and tons of loving caring friends. A man of great influence, a man that helped shape peoples beliefs and opinions, a man that worked towards breaking down racial barriers and a man that gave millions towards charity.

It is a sad day when a 33 year old dies one of the most horrific deaths known to man, leaving behind sisters, brothers, parents and tons of friends who loved and cared for Him. A man of Great influence, a man that is totally responsible for shaping lives along with mountains, stars, and knitting together our very being, a man who is the only answer to breaking down racial barriers, a man that gave his life in the ultimate charity freedom from sin and a man that conquered death to prove his Lordship over all things including death.

It is another sad day when both are counted as kings and only one can actually stand as King, the king of pop is not dancing now, the king of pop is not singing now, the king of pop is realizing one thing and one thing only. He is no king; there is no other king but the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

The saddest thing of all is the fact that as the king of pop realizes he is nothing, as he confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord. Is that the millions who still idolize his life, have no clue what they are doing, and saying. There is only one king and Michael Jackson is not him. There is but one God and Jesus the Messiah is his name. There is but one man who can break down barriers, change the lives of billions, form the mountains, knit the cells in our body, create music from nothing, and dance on the stars, that Man is the word from before time, the King of ALL ages, the King of all ethnic bodies, the king of all countries, continents, Worlds, galaxies and universes, the King of music, the Lord of the dance, the King of the sun, moon and stars, the King from before the foundation of the world, the King of every government, every religion, every business. The King who will be declared LORD by every slave, peasant, lay person, politician, Businessman, CEO, king, president, false claiming deities, and all those who worship those false deities. JESUS. He is my KING OF KINGS and LORD of LORDS.

Oh King that is above all kings, oh Lord that is above all lords. Be magnified and lifted high as you claim the glory, as you are worshipped, as you are raised higher then any earthly king, as you are worshipped with song and dance more so then any other earthly or heavenly false king. Lord renew in all of us a right sense of who you are, a right attitude of worship and give us the strength to stand out above the crowed and sing your praise and sing glory to your name and lift your name above all names.

Just Wondering...

2009-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

The extent of human pride never ceases to amaze me. I am always astounded when parents do things that could be harmful or fatal to their children and when someone tries to tell them that they say "don't judge me! I'm a good mom! Just because I don't do things the way you do them doesn't mean I'm wrong and you're right!" Um, yikes!!!!!! Okay, Here are some things that I have heard on my moms message board (I've thrown a few real life things from friends too...)

"I have a two week old and I feed her solids to make her sleep through the night. It's totally fine!"

"Sometimes I just didn't want to mess with the car seat so I just rode with my son in the Baby Bjorn."

"I put my newborn to sleep on her tummy. It doesn't cause SIDS. Those scientist people don't really know anything about what prevents SIDS. Back-to-Sleep is a marketing campaign."

"I just let my son cry it out in his crib. Sometimes he cries for an hour. Once he cried so hard he threw up, but he has to learn how to 'self-soothe'."

"I turned my 5 month old forward facing in her car seat. She didn't like being rear facing."

"If I tighten the car seat straps as tight as they should be they will be too tight for my son so I just leave them loose. It's no big deal."

There are so many more I can't even remember them all! Oh my gosh!!!! How are people living with themselves? I get it, some things are a personal decision like the decision to use controlled crying or not, or the decision to co-sleep or not. But there are things you can do that can put your child into harms way. Believe it or not, all the mothers who said these things got angry when people on the message board tried to correct them!!!! They spouted off crap like "It's my decision as a mother!" and "Don't judge me! I'm a good mom!" Sorry ladies. Mothers who turn their 5 month olds forward facing, let their baby scream until he throws up, ride around in the car with their baby in the Bjorn, disregard medical advice not to feed solids until at least 4 months for the sake of a good night's sleep, and don't properly restrain their babies in their car seats are NOT good mothers. Believe me, I hate it too when Derek cries when I tighten the car seat straps, but I know that's because he doesn't like to be restrained not because they are too tight. I too can't stand it when Derek is calling for me in the car and he can't see me because he is rear facing. Sometimes I want to scream when Derek wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to eat (although he's to the age where he doesn't do that too much anymore.). I get frustrated when he wakes up as soon as I put him in the crib and I have to stand and pat him until he nods off. I HATE toting his infant carrier around because he is soooooo heavy in it now. I am at the same place all these other mothers are/were but the difference is that I recognize that we do those things for the safety and good of our children. Most people recognize that we should do those things for our children's safety and health. I wish that mothers wouldn't get so defensive. I understand that being a mom is a competitive scene. I recognize that there are people out there who are ridiculously judgmental about things that are your personal decision. I had an incident a few months ago where a woman scolded me in the mall for bottle feeding instead of breast feeding. It's people like that who make moms overly sensitive to critiscm. But sometimes we need to lay aside our pride and realize that there is such a thing as contructive critiscm and be willing to consider the good of our children above our own convenience.

Car Seat Safety

2009-06-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

One of my passions is the safety of children, especially infants and older babies. I've run across so many people (friends included) who do not know how to properly restrain their babies and toddlers in the car. I am at a loss as to how to gently tell some of my friends that they need to tighten the straps on the car seat among other things. So, in hopes that people will read this I have included the following link to this blog. It has an article about car seat safety as well as a couple videos of crash tests with car seats! Hope everyone takes this into account!!

http://prayerofhannah.blogspot.com/2009/06/rewind-to-car-seat-safety.html

Also, here are a couple more awesome car seat safety links!

www.cpssafety.com
www.nhtsa.gov
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cps/cpsfitting/index.cfm (To find a safety seat installation inspector near you!)
http://www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm

A New Experience

2009-06-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm about to have a new experience!! Thanks to my wrist deciding to grow a ganglion cyst I will be having surgery in a week and a half. I've never had surgery before. The first time I was ever in the hospital was when I had Derek. So, needless to say I'm a little nervous. The cyst is no big deal, in fact the doctor said if I wanted to I could leave it be, but it's starting to gross me out big time so I decided to go ahead and have it removed since we havae met our insurance deductible this year with Derek's birth. So, in case anyone was freaking out about me having surgery, I'm ok and it's no big deal. They won't even have to put me under, they'll just use a block for my arm so I'll be awake the whole time! I can even watch if I want (which I don't!! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!). The whole procedure will take 20 minutes. I just can't wait to have it gone, because like I said, it's really gross!!!!

10 Things...

2009-06-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Normally I wouldn't clutter up my blog with things like this but I really liked this one so here it is!

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people

1 –I'm still so very in love with you especially after 4 years!!!
2 – I love you so very much!!!
3 – I'm still mad at you.
4 – you are selfish and self centered (two different things in my opinion) and you need to get over yourself.
5 – Love your wife as Christ loves the church!!!!
6 – I wish you would just apologize to me and get it over with.
7 – I want to be better friends but I'm really bad at getting to know people! I need your help.
8 - Sometimes when you say things exactly as you're thinking them it comes off as rude.
9 – I miss you so much and wish we could live near each other again.
10 - I'm sorry.

9 Things About Yourself:

1 - I am disorganized and it sometimes drives me crazy that I'm like that.
2 - I have a mean streak that I'm not proud of.
3 – My family is from the east coast and although I was raised in the midwest I find alot of the midwestern culture strange.
4 – I love my husband and my son more than life itself.
5 – I love to travel and I miss being able to soooooooo much.
6 – I love to shop.
7 – I am best friends with my mom.
8 – If you ask me at any time if I'd rather be at the beach I would say yes, except if I'm already at the beach.
9 – I love airplanes and wish that I could fly them for a job! What could be better than getting paid to travel??

8 Ways to Win my heart
1 – My love language is gift giving and receiving, so let me give you stuff and make a big deal out of it, and be sure to send me stuff too!! :)
2 – Tell me you love me often!
3 – Be romantic!!!
4 – Allow me to have my feelings and don't make me feel bad for feeling them
5 – Show interest in the things I like to do and I will equally compromise on the things you like to do
6 - Love my family for who they are and the fact that they raised me to be the woman you love.
7 - Don't be afraid to stand up for me and be ready and willing to protect me.
8 – Let me cry when I need to without saying a whole bunch of stuff to try to get me to stop. (That just ticks me off!)

7 Things That Cross my Mind A lot:

1 – Derek
2 - Nathan
3 – the beach
4 – housework
5 – the beach
6 – Derek
7 – family

6 Things I Have to do Before I Die:

1 – Write a book
2 – Go to Hawaii again
3 –Go to Normandy (France)
4 – See my son get married
5 – fly an airplane
6 – learn to be content in all situations

5 People Who Mean A Lot to You:

1 – Nathan
2 – Derek
3 – Mom Dad and Bekah
4 – Nana and PopPop and Aunt Tina
5 –Brittany, Casey, Caleb, and Isaac

(What the heck! There are a lot more than 5!!)

4 Things You Can See Right Now:

1 –TV
2 – Derek's jumper
3 –our unity candle
4 – clock

3 Bands You Listen to Often:

1 – Le Crae
2 – Nickleback
3 – Whatever is on the radio

2 Things You do Before Bed:

1 – Kiss my son
2 – Pray with Nathan

1 Confession:

1 – I am still in my pjs. I need to go get ready for the day!!

Celebrating 4 Years!!

2009-06-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

Today is our 4 year wedding anniversary! Wow the time has flown by! Lets take a look back at the past 4 years!!

Places we've lived:

Columbia, South Carolina (June 2005-June 2006)
Eagan, Minnesota (June 2006-August 2006)
White Lake, Wisconsin (August 2006-May 2007)
Eden Prairie, Minnesota (May 2007- Present)

Jobs we've had:
Nathan:
Student Ministry Associate, Lexington Baptist Church, Lexington, South Carolina
Server, Don Pablo's, Eagan, Minnesota
Student Life Director, Silver Birch Ranch/Nicolet Bible Institute, White Lake, Wisconsin
Youth Outreach Specialist, Treehouse, Chaska, Minnesota

Sarah:
Assistant Manager, Express, Columbia, South Carolina
Assistant Manager, Express, Woodbury, Minnesota
Student Life Director, Silver Birch Ranch/Nicolet Bible Institute, White Lake, Wisconsin
Sales Coordinator, Courtyard by Marriott, Bloomington, Minnesota
Stay at Home Mom, Eden Prairie, Minnesota

Places we've been:
South Carolina
Minnesota
Illinois
North Carolina
Florida
Wisonsin
Ohio
West Virginia
Iowa
Indiana
Tennessee
Kentucky

Vacations we've taken:
Mayan Riviera, Mexico (Honeymoon 2005)
Cruise to Grand Cayman Island, Cozumel Mexico, and Key West Florida (January 2008)

Perhaps biggest of all we've added our son Derek Bruce to our family!!!!

Whew! It's been a crazy four years, but they've been fun too!! I"m looking forward to many many more years of marriage!!!!!! I love you Nathan!!!

Another Baby Welcome!!!

2009-06-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

We are welcoming my new niece to the world!!! Makayla Lynn Dowling was born at 4:16 this afternoon at 6 lbs 5 oz and 19.5 inches long!!!! The happy parents are Will and Dalynn!! Congratulations you guys!!!!!!

Food for Thought

2009-06-10T18:49:00.000-07:00

So just some bits I've been mulling over...

If someone has the chance to do something awesome and chooses not to do it, is it unsympathetic of me to not want to listen to them complain about it?

Can I tell the obnoxious neighbor kids to turn down the disgusting rap music because I want to have my back door open without exposing my baby son to that crap?

It's June 10th and the sun and warmth have been hiding for a week. Why won't it come back?

It's June 10th and my 4 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Where did the time go????

Is it considered rude to ride your EXTREMELY loud motorcycle at midnight down a residential street?

Why is "Wipeout" so entertaining? It's just people falling off ridiculous contraptions all the time, yet it has me in stitches!!

Can I take my 4 month old to Hawaii?

Are we going to get to do anything for our anniversary? Tune in next time to find out. Same Metcalf time, same Metcalf channel!

Is Derek teething?

And last but not least I finally have a niece!!!!!

Where is the Love? Seriously... where is it??

2009-06-02T20:05:00.001-07:00

This past Saturday Nathan and I had the privilege of going to the Don't Waste Your Life concert featuring LeCrae, FLAME, Trip Lee, Tedashii, and Sho Baraka. AWESOME concert. But that's not the point of this blog. My mom graciously agreed to babysit Derek so that we could go to the concert. We met my parents at the downtown venue and exchanged kids! :) My sister came to the concert with us, and my parents took Derek back to our house. Due to unforseen circumstances, my parents were late picking Derek up at the concert venue, and as a result he was really hungry by the time they got there. He was crying in his carseat so my mom pulled into our home church's parking lot to feed him since the church was only a few blocks from the venue. As she was standing outside the car with the back door open making the bottle the Saturday evening service let out. People began to walk out to the parking lot and get into their cars. What happens next is completely astounding. Several church members began to give my mother dirty looks. A few walked up to her and told her that she needed to move her car (for no reason, it's not like she was illegally parked) and that the parking lot was only for church members and others could not park there. All this as she was FEEDING A BABY!!!! I have no words to describe how horrified I was. Fortunately my mother has a grace to her personality that is not existant in mine. Those people were lucky it was not me they were talking to. I have a horrible habit of coming up with something rude to say back and I always regret it later. Anyway, my bad habits are not the point of this blog either. The point of this blog is to call on Christians to LOVE EACHOTHER!! It's commanded by Jesus! I mean, come on! This was our home church!! My mother's own church family treated her like garbage when she was in need. I have seriously considered writing a letter to church leadership about this. How can Christians act this way? What if my mother had not been a believer? Our home church is in an area of downtown that is frequented by homeless people and poor people. What if she had been someone from the area just needing a place to pull over and feed her hungry baby? It is absolutely appalling to me that Christians would act this way, especially toward a woman who is feeding a baby! This is why Christians are viewed as hypocrites and holier than thou. How can you go into church, worship the Lord, claim that you love Him, listen to a sermon, then leave and be downright NASTY to a sister in Christ (or any person for that matter)! All that makes you is a white washed tomb. Someone who says "Lord Lord" but sends the beggar on his way with a "God be with you." I am honestly sickened by this behavior. Ok, I think my rant is over. What do you all think? Should I write to the elder board, or am I making a bigger deal out of this than it really is??

2009-06-02T13:09:00.001-07:00

Since abortion has been on my mind the last couple of days, I thought I would share this video link. It's John Piper's address to President Obama on the topic of abortion. VERY powerful! Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O68MByaMVdM

Dichotomy of Sadness

2009-06-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a man was murdered as he served in his church as an usher. A man walked into the foyer of the church just as the service was starting and shot him. The man's wife was singing in the choir at the time. She was pulled out of the service and when the congregation members heard her scream they knew something had happened. It's so sad. Murders are horrible crimes, and I certainly hope this man's murderer is brought to justice. There is NEVER a cause to murder another person. It is very very sad that this man's family is suffering in the wake of his murder.

Now, that being said, Dr. Tiller was one of the few remaining US physicians still performing late term abortions. There is a measure of irony in his death. The murderer becomes the murdered. His whole livelihood was built around the profound sadness of the deaths of innocent unborn children. The children he killed were not only small clusters of cells, tiny embryos, and small babies who looked more alien that human; they were THIRD TRIMESTER babies!!! Fully formed, with tiny hands and feet, and developed brains. They had eyes, and eyelids, and little noses and mouths. They were sucking their thumbs and turning somersaults in their comfy uterine homes. They were kicking their feet and opening and closing their hands. Their hearts were beating, and their eyes were blinking. They had little ears that could hear muffled sounds from outside the womb. I wonder if they heard their mothers planning their deaths with Dr. Tiller. I think of my baby son sleeping peacefully in his crib. It wasn't too long ago that he was so tiny and dependent on my body. It wrenches my heart to think that I could have still chosen to terminate his life up until he was born a week early. How can a woman do that with the baby moving inside of her? How could a doctor ignore all scientific fact and choose to end a life? Isn't "do no harm" the first part of the Hippocratic oath all doctors take?? It is a strange dichotomy of sadness. Sad that Dr. Tiller was murdered, and sad that so many unborn children were murdered.

For information on abortion awareness and things we can do as Christians in our fight for the unborn children's right to life here are a couple websites to visit!!

www.selfevidenttruth.org
www.abort73.com

2009-05-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

I was on a Christian moms message board recently and to make a long thread of conversation short they were talking about sin and Christians and how we deal with it. the thread lead up to this comment...

"Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand . These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse . The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free. God is not freaked out about "sin". Everyone falls short of their potential . He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us . GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words."

Soooooo, I'm going to try to respond to this the way I wish I could respond on the message board. I wouldn't though because I HATE stirring stuff up on a message board. It usually gets me mad in the long run and that isn't constructive!

First of all, she makes it sound like most Christians are out of touch with reality. "Some christians have just lost their ability to be able to speak in ways that people would be interested in or even understand ." Really??? I mean I know a lot of Christians and I don't think that they're uninteresting. I have a lot of non Christian friends and they don't find it hard to understand me... I just don't find this to be a true statement. There are certainly elements of the Christian faith that are hard to understand even for mature believers, but that doesn't make those concepts any less true. Just because something is hard to understand doesn't mean we should water it down or avoid it. It means that we need to step up our efforts to understand!!! Like in school. You don't drop out because the concepts are hard, nor do the teachers water things down. Rather, we step it up and LEARN!!! Let's move on.

"These Bible thumpers may even know a lot of scriptures, but don't seem to understand the purpose or love behind any of them . " Here is an element of truth. There are plenty of people out there who love to throw Bible verses at others without the Holy Spirit behind it. We call them Pharisees. Jesus called them whitewashed tombs. However, there is a prevelant thought in modern evangelical Christianity that we can't use Scripture AT ALL. Using Scripture to correct another brother or sister (or encourage them, or teach them) makes the user automically "holier than thou", pious, arrogant, and a "Bible Thumper." That's why I am so cautious of the writer's statement. If she is truly referring to those people that quote Scripture to bring on guilt,and condemnation, then sure, I agree with this statement. But... part of me wonders if she is of the pursuation that using Scripture for a purpose other than to encourage is wrong. Okay, next!

"People sometimes forget that the Bible is here to serve us and NOT the reverse ." I really want to like this statement because I think I see what she is trying to say. The Bible is God's Word for us. He gave it to us to use as a tool for our Christian walk. And, we serve God, not the Bible directly. But, the reason I can't completely love this statement is because the Bible is GOD'S WORD!! So no, we don't worship the Bible, but the Bible tells us how to worship God!!! I don't know. This is a tricky statement, I'm not sure how to react to it. I agree with it in theory, but in the context of the rest of her post I feel like I wouldn't agree with her in practice...

"The Bible is not a club it's the good news that sets us free." TRUE TRUE TRUE!!!!!!

"God is not freaked out about 'sin'." Hmmmmm, I don't like that the word "sin" is in quotation marks. What is that supposed to mean?? Is she saying sin some made up human thing that God doesn't care about? And what does it mean that "God is not freaked out" by it? He certainly hates sin. he cannot tolerate it. He can't have it in His presence. He is so "freaked out" by sin that He had to send His Son to die so that His blood could cover our sin!! I mean, if she means that God's plan is not thwarted by sin then sure, she is right, but that's not what I think she means. I tend to think that she is downplaying the severity of sin, as evidenced by her next statement.

"Everyone falls short of their potential ." Mmmmm, yes... but sin is soooooooo much more than that! Our very nature is utterly and totally depraved. DEPRAVED!!! That is so much worse than just falling short of our potential. If it was just a matter of falling short of our potential would Jesus have had to die for that??? Seriously. Sin is a serious enough matter to warrant the death of God's only Son!!!

"He is interested in us being truly happy and he knows" sin" distracts us ." Oh no, don't even get me started on all the things wrong with this statement. God is interested in us being truly happy????? No, God is interested in us worshipping Him. Only when we are doing that are we truly happy. My pastor is fond of saying "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." See, the cheif end of man is not to be happy but to glorify God! So no, God is not interested in us being truly happy unless we are truly happy in glorifying Him!! :)

"GET YOUR HOPE UP because I see all around a new breed of grace filled people who know the TRUE character of God and know how to communicate the ways of wisdom to others in their actions and words." I see a new breed of Christians as well. I just don't think we are seeing the same ones. I hope she is referring to Christians who speak the truth in love, the key here being speaking the truth!! Unfortuantely too many Christians speak love and eliminate truth. Speaking the truth in love is hard to do, but is so much better than eliminating the truth in favor of speaking only love. People need the truth whether they are believers or not. The Bible truly is the Good News that sets us free from sin and death! The truth of God is beautiful! Why wouldn't we want to speak it!? Don't be a Christian who discards the beautiful truth of God for a cheap immitation of happiness in this life!!

So anyway, I guess that's how I would respond to her if I could. I'm curious of course what you all think so feel free to post comments!

Beginning of Summer

2009-05-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today it's hot outside. I'm talking 93 degrees hot!!! The lawn mowers are running in the neighborhood, and you can hear people outside. You can smell the grills, and the fresh cut grass and the breeze is just perfect! It's summer outside today! Now this is Minnesota, so by the end of this week it could be cool again, but today, it's summer!

Hitting Home

2009-05-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

The apartment complex dropped off our lease renewal form yesterday. We have until May 31st to either renew our lease or turn in our written notice of intent to vacate. We have to be out by July 31st. We simply cannot afford to stay here. I wanted to be candid about the emotions I have concerning this move. I hope I don't come off wrong. But, here goes nothing...

I'm sad. I LOVE our apartment. It has become home to me over the past two years. It is the first place Nathan and I have lived that didn't have an end date on it. We brought our child home to this apartment. I love the location, and the neighborhood. I love the suburb we live in, it is clean and safe and you never here of people getting murdered here even though we live in a very diverse area. It's great! We live across the street from the mall, within walking distance of a beautiful park with an awesome walking path, and within minutes of anything you could ask for! So I am incredibly sad to leave all this behind.

I am angry. Sort of. Moving was not on my agenda this year. I feel like I've just gotten the hang of this balance of being a mother and taking care of the house, and now I'm being uprooted. I knew we would not be staying in this apartment forever, but I always envisioned our next move being to a house where we would be for the next good long chunk of time. Now we are going to be moving to another apartment, and it will not be half as nice as the one we live in now. We have to cut the rent cost by several hundred dollars, and the way to do that is to get a smaller, not as nice apartment somewhere else. We are looking at another suburb. This one is okay, but not really as nice as the one we live in now. The apartment complex we are looking at is not within walking distance of anything. The ones that are, are too expensive. It is next door practically to the transit station... gotta love the smell and sound of buses in the morning. This is a suburb where people have recently been murdered... not too far from where we would be living. (Don't get me wrong it's not a totally dangerous area, it's just not as nice as where we live now. You would be hard pressed to find a suburb where there hasn't been violence! :)) Basically we are looking at a step backwards and I don't like that.

I am worried. I don't want to keep moving from temporary housing to temporary housing. It starts to get pointless after a while, and at some point you have to stop uprooting your family, especially your older children. I don't want to always think of where we are living as a temporary deal, but I don't want to be in this apartment for very long. I want to buy a house as soon as possible, so it's hard not to think that way. I am worried that we might never settle down somewhere. I am worried about Derek's schooling (even though I know it's way early. I never said these worries were rational!) The schools in the area we are moving to are not the greatest. We would be left with the option of private school or homeschool, and since I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be able to afford tuition at a private school, I would be forced to homeschool, which to be honest, I'm not sure I want to do. There's a lot of pressure in Christian circles to homeschool, and I'm not sure I would be good at it. (That's another blog post entirely! Haha!) Again, not that these worries are all rational at this point in time, I'm just being candid about how I'm feeling. I'm worried about going back to work. I'm going to have to go back to work part time at some point, and I don't want to. There aren't very many part time jobs out there that aren't retail and I do not want to go back to retail. I may not have a choice but I can't think of anything worse than going back into retail to be a sales associate at some store after being a manager for so long. I don't know, then there's the issue of childcare. What do I do with Derek while I'm working? My mom works part time, and it's pointless to pay for childcare when I'm only going to be making enough to cover that cost anyway. Then all I'm doing is throwing my paycheck at childcare. Right now my only option is to try to work my schedule around my mother's and hope that at some point I will be able to see my husband.

So anyway, that's where I'm at. I feel so bad because this is not where I want to be. I want to be thankful that we have the means to afford any roof over our heads! I want to be thankful that we don't have to move in with my parents. I want to be thankful that Nathan has a stable job even if it doesn't pay alot. I want to be thankful that my mom is willing to watch Derek for free. But I'm not any of those things right now. I guess I'm just not there yet. Maybe you all could pray for me that God will change my heart to have the right attitude about this. :)

Please continue to Pray for this family

2009-05-13T09:56:00.001-07:00

I posted about a week ago a link to Kayleigh's Story and asked for prayer for that family as they battled for their baby girl's life. She went to be with Jesus on May 11th. Please keep this family in prayer. My life would be shattered if I ever lost Derek, and my heart is going out to them. Please continue to remember them in prayer.

http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com

Welcome Isaiah!!

2009-05-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Eric and Jessi on the birth of their son Isaiah Levi on May 1st at 9am!!! He is totally precious!!

Curiosity

2009-05-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

I am wondering, to all that read this, what do you think of those backpack leash/harnesses for young kids? My younger sister was horrified when I registered for one, and I have read a lot of negative feedback on mom message boards about them, but in my opinion a toddler who is ready to explore will not be happy sitting restrained in a stroller. Nor do I think they should be restrained in a stroller all the time. I have a good friend whose 2 year old refuses to hold her hand in public places. She screams, pulls, twists, and sometimes even bites to get away. Now I acknowlege (as does my friend) that this is a behavioral issue, but this little girl is completely well behaved if she's allowed to walk on her own and be free. Toddlers are learning that there is a big wide world out there, and they want to see it, and they are not able to comprehend the idea that there are people out there who might take them or hurt them so they should stick close to mom or dad. Toddlers live in the moment without thinking of the future or the past. If you have a toddler you understand this in that you have to constantly repeat every instruction. Even if it's something they do everyday. While sitting at a restaurant with my husband's family, my sister in law had to remind my 2 1/2 year old nephew several times that if he needed help, rather than screaming, he needed to use his words and ask for help. They had the same conversation 20 times!! She would say "Caleb do you need help?" He would answer, "yeah." She would reply, "Then you need to say 'help me Mommy'." He would say "help me Mommy." Then she would help him with what he needed. Because of their short attention spans and instant gratification way of thinking, it can be a difficult process to train a toddler to stay close enough to you in a public place to let them walk by themselves. It would seem to me that a harness/leash would be a good alternative. It would give them a certain measure of freedom without jeapordizing their safety. That's just how it seems to me. People use the argument "they're kids, not dogs!" but I don't think you use a leash because you have the intent of treating your kid like a dog. If you think about it, why do you put a leash on your dog? You put a leash on a dog you do it to keep your dog close to you, and to keep the dog safe (preventing him/her from chasing cars, running away etc.) and to keep those around you safe (preventing the dog from jumping, biting etc.). The same goes for your child. You might use a leash to keep your child close to you, and to keep him/her safe. I don't know, it just seems like a pretty controversial thing, and people really look down on those who choose to use them. So, I am asking for feedback from people who read this blog. To leash or not to leash??? :)

Please Pray!!!

2009-05-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

Please pray for this family and their precious little baby girl!!!

http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com

Welcome Baby Yosef!

2009-05-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine posts shout outs to her friends babies on her blog, and I really like that, so I'm going to start doing it here!!

Yosef Micaiah was born on April 25th weighing 7lbs. 2 oz. His happy parents are Andy and Sarah!! Congratulations you guys!!!!

Holidays

2009-04-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with my best friend recently about holidays and how we were choosing to celebrate them. Since becoming a parent a couple of months ago I have realized that Nathan and I need to be very intentional with our actions and words around a holiday. I mean an important holiday, not like Flag Day or the 4th of July. I'm talking about Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving... the important Christian high holidays. Especially Christmas and Easter. Our conversation was about these two particular holidays and how we were going to present them to our children. She had really been thinking about what she was going to tell her son about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Should she let him believe in them or not? If not, to what extent should he know about them? She was telling me during the course of the conversation that she and her husband took their son to an Easter egg hunt, and encouraged me to find an Easter egg hunt near us to take Derek to, even if he wasn't old enough to understand really, she thought it would be a fun family activity. When I told her that Nathan and I didn't really want to introduce him to Easter egg hunts or let him participate in them there was a short silence on the other end of the phone before she said "well it's not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt." She is right. It is not a sin to take your kid to an Easter egg hunt. It is not a sin to let your kid participate in one. But Nathan and I believe very strongly that Easter is the most important holiday in the Christian faith! It is even more important than Christmas because Easter is the day that the Lord Jesus rose again and completed his act of saving us from our sin! Without Easter we would have a dead god just like the rest of the false world religions. Without Easter there would be no propitiation for sin because Jesus would not have been God, but just a man. To detract from the awe and worship we should have in our hearts on this day by going on a silly pointless egg hunt or talking about a stupid rabbit would be wrong! We as believers should only have eyes for the Lord this day! We should have ourselves so fixated on the power of the cross and the resurrection that we don't care about candy eggs and bunnies. I can't stress enough how much I want my home to be rejoicing in the resurrection, and let's be honest, what child is thinking about the empty tomb while on an Easter egg hunt? Derek will not think "Gee, I'm really glad Jesus is risen" while searching for eggs. No, he will be thinking "I want candy!" Any normal child would. Easter is not about "I want candy." Easter is about "The Lord is Risen!" and that is the sound I want to hear in my house. So, no, while I don't feel there is anything inherently wrong in going on an Easter egg hunt in an of itself, I feel that it is wrong to detract from the glory Jesus should be getting on this day.

Now, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are a whole other matter entirely. Not only do both of these entities detract from the glory God should be getting on their respective holidays, but I believe there is a measure of sin in allowing your children to believe in them. Here is why... there is not one parent out there who's children believe in Santa who has not lied to them to perpetuate that belief. Whether it's an outright lie, or simply a lie of omission. At first it seems harmless when the kids are little and it does not take much work to allow them to believe in Santa. They go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, so mom and dad have plenty of time to get the presents under the tree, and they don't ask a lot of questions. But think about this, every parent who has written a letter to Santa for their young child has lied to them. They have simply not told them the truth, which is the same as a lie. They have perpetuated a deception. As the kids get older, it gets harder and harder to perpetuate the belief. Mom and Dad have to start getting up in the middle of the night to put the presents under the tree, or worse, the older child wants to sleep on the couch hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, so mom and dad have to sneak around absolutely silently lest they wake the child and shatter their belief. Some older children may even begin to ask questions to which a parent has to outright lie in their answer to perpetuate the belief. Then finally one day, the child really is too old to believe in that stuff so he says to his mom, "Mommy, is Santa real?" "No honey, he's not." "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?" "No honey, it's not." "Mommy, is the Tooth Fairy real?" "No honey, she's not." Now that the child's whole belief system has been tragically shattered in one conversation, he asks one more tentative question. "Mommy, is Jesus real?" "Yes, honey, Jesus is real." And he is supposed to take my word for it??? You see, not only has the child's belief system been yanked out from under him, but his trust in me has also been crushed. Not permanently I suppose, but for that point in time, and maybe for some time after he may struggle to believe the Bible stories I tell him, after all I told him a lot of stories about Santa too. For this reason, it's dangerous to perpetuate belief in these non existent entities. It is far better for a child to know the truth from the beginning so there will never be a question of what is true and what isn't. Even if that means that the child will miss out on the "fun" of believing in Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Truth be told, I never believed in those things and I didn't feel that I missed out on anything, except being lied to by my parents, which I wouldn't have wanted anyways!)

These are really just the things we have decided for our family. I'm not going to condemn anyone who decides that Santa and the Easter Bunny are fine for their children to believe in. I am going to challenge them to really think about that decision though in the context of Scripture to see if that is the God glorifying decision, or if they're letting the world influence them.

Communication

2009-04-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

Nathan and I used to run into problems a lot because he is an external processor (thinks out loud) and I am an internal processor (most of my thoughts take place in my head... where they belong :)) Before we figured out what was causing the issue, I would get frustrated with him because he would say one thing and thirty seconds later change his mind and say something else. A simple question had a thousand different answers. For example: "Where do you want to go for dinner tonight Nathan?" "Hmmmm, Ruby Tuesday could be good, I'm in the mood for a salad. (Pause) No, I actually think I want Chinese food. (Pause) Oh, Jake's let's go to Jake's! (Pause) I wish there was a good Chicago style pizza place around here. (Pause) I think seafood sounds good. (Pause) I don't know, where do you want to go, Sarah?" See what I mean? It's maddening! By the time he gets to Jake's I'm thinking make up your mind already!!!! Conversely, when he poses the same question to me the answer goes something like this... (Loooooooong pause in which my thoughts are...) I really don't like seafood, so I'm gonna shoot that one down. Ruby Tuesday is fine, but I'm not in the mood for a burger and that's really all that's there. I too really wish there was a good Chicago style pizza place around, but there's not so why talk about it??? Hmmmmm, Jake's......... "What''s taking you so long Sarah?" "I'm thinking!!!!" Actually I'd really like Mexican food. Hmmmm, will Nathan drive down to Eagan for El Loro? Well, it's worth an ask I guess! "How about Mexican?" See how that is maddening for Nathan?

The reason I'm talking about going out to dinner is because it is an example of something that can affect a marriage on its deepest level. Communication. Nathan recently brought to my attention that he feels I don't communicate with him enough. I was baffled by this statement. How could I not be communicating? I tell him everything! I've discovered that Nathan is actually interested in my thought process. When I'm taking 10 minutes to give an answer to the simple question "were do you want to go for dinner" he thinks I'm zoning out and that my "how about Mexican" answer was me flippantly throwing something out. I didn't realize that he was thinking, she's not listening to me at all!! Mexican wasn't even on my list! He doesn't realize that I've gone through his list in my head and come up with an option of my own. Likewise I felt that Nathan was indecisive. There should be one answer to the simple question "where do you want to go for dinner?" "Jake's," or "Chinese food" or "I'd really like to go to Ruby Tuesday." Not all of those in the same answer!!! I was failing to realize that Nathan and I were doing the same thing! We were both thinking, just in our own ways.

Be aware of how your spouse processes information. Don't be frustrated with an internal processor. They are listening to you, they do take you seriously. That is why they are silent for so long. They are carefully considering the situation. Don't be frustrated with an external processor. They are not indecisive, they are not impatient; they are simply weight their options carefully by determining which one sounds good.

Freedom?

2009-03-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article about a homeschooling mother who was ordered by a judge to send her children to public schools. The mother and father are divorced (due to the father's adultery) and he filed a lawsuit to get her to send the kids to public schools. She maintained that she had the right to decide how her children were to be educated, but the judge ordered her to enroll the children in public school beginning next school year. Here is the link to the article if you care to read it.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91397

My point here is not about the homeschooling, it is about parents' rights to decide what is best for their children. As a new mother myself, I am amazed at all the decisions I am forced to make for a little person who cannot make those decisions for himself. I am the one who makes the decision what kind of formula he eats, I make the decision about when he goes to bed, I decide what he does with his days (to a certain extent) and when he is old enough I will decide (with Nathan of course) how he is educated. I have a really hard time with the idea that a judge could step in and tell me that certain decisions I have made for my child are wrong and overridden by his judgement. Really?? If he wants to parent my child so bad, let him. Let him deal with the 3am feedings and disgusting diaper blowouts. Let him deal with the temper tantrums and Acid Reflux. Let him take on the Terrible Twos and potty training. I mean really, he thinks he knows what is best for these children in regards to their education, but he has never parented one of them a day in his life. I think the reason this grabbed me so hard is because I am a parent myself. What kind of precedence does this set for the future? How many other parental rights are in jeopardy? I mean, spanking is now taboo according to most people, and many experts. Apparently it will cause your kids to be violent and have "sexual issues" when they are older. Parents can be reported to Social Services for spanking. Children can emancipate themselves from their parents. Parents are losing the ability to chose what they believe to be best for their children. It's scary to think that there may come a day where the government dictates how parents should raise their children. We as Christians need to combat the mainstream ideas on parenting and raise our children in the Truth.

Derek Update

2009-03-28T12:29:00.001-07:00

For those of you who are wondering still what's going on with Derek, here is a post I wrote for our small group about his last week!

On Sunday I really noticed a huge change in his demeanor. He has up until then been a relatively happy baby. Never any huge screaming/crying jags lasting a long time or trouble eating or anything. On Sunday, after a long battle with my breastmilk, I finally gave up trying. I wasn't producing enough for him to nurse and pumping for anywhere from 30-45 minutes to produce only an ounce of milk was getting long and exhausting. When I stopped giving him breastmilk I thought the transition would be smooth since he had already been getting a fair amount of formula to supplement what I couldn't produce. But he started screaming that day and literally did not stop for four days!! The only time he wasn't crying was when he was sleeping, and he wasn't sleeping very well, so then he would cry because he was tired. He would literally cry himself to sleep because he would wear himself out screaming. I tried everything I could think of, but it didn't seem to matter when I fed him, what position I held him in, whether he had a clean diaper or not... nothing changed his screaming. (you all heard him screaming last night! I had four days of that!) Finally, I was ready to pull my hair out yesterday, so I called the doctor. They wanted me to bring him in at 5:30, so off we went. We came out of the doctor's office with a diagnosis of Acid Reflux coupled with an allergy to cow's milk protein. We were sent home with a hypoallergenic, lactose free formula and infant Zantac. After you all left and Nathan got home we dosed him with Zantac and the result was almost instantaneous. He quieted down, snuggled in and ate more than he'd eaten all day! He was great overnight, and this morning we had our first quiet, happy morning in four days! We have a follow up appointment with the doctor this afternoon, so we are hoping to get the thumbs up that this is working and that his problem is manageable!

Update: Our follow up appointment went very well. The doctor was convinced I'd brought in a different baby!! We are not sure what prompted the sudden onset of the acid reflux. Though I had suspected for a while that he was dealing with a mild case of it, We are not sure why it flared up to such a severe case. I guess it doesn't matter because Derek is doing really well! I have my happy baby back which is a relief and a big answer to prayer!! Next month we will begin experimenting with different formulas to see if he can go off the nasty hypoallergenic one!